#* tears my hair out * i already have a headache from the call music great start to my day !

[catboybrain]

phone call hell world

[thefanbasewhore]

Retirement.

Summary: Blood is something Bucky has grown used to but when he's covered in yours, he's sick. Don't worry, happy ending!!

Warning/Content: almost death, getting shot in the head, Bucky cries but finally gets everything he deserves 😅

Paring: Bucky Barnes x female reader

Bucky Barnes tag list and master list

"Buck -" The rasp comes from the piece in his ear, he barely hears it as bullets that wiz past the surface of his head and bounce off the ground. He's out of breath, gasping as he find shelter behind an abandoned car, pressing the piece closer.

"What is it? Did you get in?" He pauses, "We need those files."

"Buck, he has a gun, he has me. Compromised." His heart is already unsteady and those words only make it beat faster. A pit forming in his stomach instead, he hears a male voice in the background.

"Who has a gun?" The silence makes his brows crease, heart drop as his voice cracks. "Answer me!"

"He wants to know where you are and what files you want." Bucky let's out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding at the sound of your voice.

"Tell him, give him the drive." There's no hesitation in his voice. There nothing in this world he wouldn't do to save you, nothing else mattered. Not the mission and definitely not the data.

But you know this, he's hard headed but instead of listening to Bucky you decide to test the waters. Looking up at the man which isn't hard, he has you on your knees, hands out in front of you but a gun inches from your head. "He said fuck off, if you shoot me you'll never know."

"What are you doing? Give him the drive, now." The growl that emphasizes the last word would usually be enough to have you shaking, but you don't give. Despite how rough he sounds, he tries to soften it "That's an order, give it to him sweetheart."

"Oh, he said fuck off again."

Bucky body runs hot, adrenaline pumping through his veins, warming his entire body as makes a b-line for the building you disappeared into a short while ago. "Give him the fucking drive."

It's useless, he hears rustling and talking but nothing he can understand but that's until he hears you talk to fast he can barely understand. "Office, we are in the first office second floor."

It's music to his ears, a second of relief but he feels dizzy as the found of a gun going off through the comlink almost paralyzes him.

"Fuck!" He yells, as he calls your name repetitively but there is no answer.

Nothing can stop him, he's running so fast he can barely register. It's all a blur, up the stairs through the main office until the stench of blood greets him.

There you are, lifeless and surrounded by your own blood.

His hands grasp gently grasping your head, blood seeping through his gapped fingers as good heart drops. "No..no." he mumbles to himself, managing to turn you over. It's hard to breath, he can't even think, see over the tears that blue his vision. A large lump forming in his mouth, it seals his throat.

There's too much blood to see anything, it soaks your scalp and mats into the hair around it. His fingers blindly look around for an exit wound but nothing is there, instead his focus falls to the rise and fall of your chest, still breathing.

Eyelashes flicker again cheekbones, disoriented and confused as Bucky let's out a sign of relief while you crunch your nose together in pain. He takes a second, just one to lay his head on top of yours and thank anything - anyone.

"Where does it hurt? I can't see, your bleeding too much baby.." Bucky watches as your eyes flicker from his steel blues and your hand reaches up to run a knuckle again his jaw, feeling the course fine hairs there. "Hey, listen to me, where does it hurt?"

Following the path of your shaky fingers he lets out a sigh of relief, the bullet managed to just graze the side of your head. The spot is hot under his trembling plam, beginning to scab and the hair is ripped away but he feels so thankful in that moment.

"He missed." It's not funny but both of you can't help but laugh as your sense of mind is returning. Hues of yellow and blue already forming under both of your eyes, no doubt from the head trauma.Bucky feels one of your hands push against his chest which he responds by tightening his core.

"Get off, I'm fine."

The look he gives you is filled with annoyance, eyes widening as if he can't believe the words that came out of your mouth, especially since his pants are wet and sticky seeing he is actually kneeling in a pool of blood.

"Are you crazy? You will bleed out." Bucky is quick to rip a piece of material from a nearby blanket, wrapping it tightly around your head but keeps pressure with his palm. "You need to get stitched up before you bleed out."

"I'm fine." Trying to push him away again but the look he gives is warning enough so you don't fight him as one arm slip underneath your knees, and then other supports your head against his chest.

"Scared me." Is all he manages to mumble as he starts his ascend towards stairs, a small kiss pressed against the uninjured part of your head. It's gentle, filled with so many words as his lips linger there, more so to reinsure that the skin is warm, full of color and lively. "Don't ever do that again, please."

"Bucky I couldn't just give it to them." Something is placed into his coat pocket while you tap it with a small smile. Hooded eyes weak, threatening to close with every passing second. "So I didn't, it's safe, the morons didn't even bother to search me."

Great, the mission is still ago but he's frowning. "I don't care about the mission. I care about you risking your life for some file, you disobeyed my orders I told you to give it to them and to tell them. If that bullet was an inch closer you would have died."

Silence feel over the pair, nothing else to be said because Bucky was right. The agreement was Bucky was in charge, in order for you to come everything would be up to him, especially because you weren't supposed to be there in the first place.

"I'm sorry, Buck." Guilt creeping over, pressing a small kiss to the underside of his jaw. Small tears beginning to blur vision but you're not sure if it's from the look of disappointed and fear that line his handsome features or that fact that you were that close to death and blood is soaking threw the make shift bandage and trailing down the side of your head. "I should have listened."

"I need a medic." Bucky brings his wrist to his lips before laying his cheek against the top of your own. The heavy, swish of air from the helicopter does little to him, he still stands confident and strong as he speaks.

"Don't cry, doll. I'm not mad, I promise." He pauses but you can feel his hands trembling, heart pounding inside of his chest. "Just scared, I'm covered in your blood and i hate it."

***

He was right, from head to toe, smeared across his face and dying his hands pink even after scrubbing them effortlessly in the shower does little to get it off. The smell of your blood is still fresh, enough to crinkle his nose with distaste. Every time he looks down it's a reminder that he almost lost you.

When he enters the bedroom with a towel around his waist you look up, head still spinning but now the wound is stitched up, white bandages knotted behind your head. After the initial shock left your system you notice the side affects, right below where the bullet grazed, your right ear is ringing. You can hear anything and honestly, the doctors couldn't give a definite answer if it will ever come back.

"How your head, did the medicine start working yet?" Bucky asks, throwing on a pair on underwear and doesn't bother with anything else.

With a defeat huff you shake your head, squeezing your eyes shut as the bright light of the bathroom hurts. Bucky notices and shuts it off before curling up into the bed, legs entangling with your own as he presses a soft kiss against your neck.

A few more soft ones pressed against your cheeks, the warmth gathering the few tears that slip from your eyes. A hand runs through the soft strands of the involved side of your head, a soft hum of comfort vibrates against it. "Shhhh, it's going to be okay sweetheart."

As the underside of his hand comes back up to comfort you the pink hue catches his attention once again and a frown fills his features.

"I don't want to say this..." his words are rushed and desperate but he can't keep it in any longer. "Every time I close my eyes I see you there, in your own blood. I can't shake the feeling of your blood oozing through my fingers."

Bucky is never one to hold his partner back and to be honest he thinks you're one of the best agents he's ever met, skilled and smart but none of that will matter if you are dead. "I don't want you going on active missions anymore."

"You don't get to decide that." You argue, he fears the worse as your head moves from his hand, no longer seeking the comfort. "You can't do that."

"I need piece of mind, you're the only person I have left." He argues. The bright moon creates just enough light to illuminate one side of your face through the window. Eyes are black and blue and red shot, a popped vessel on the corner of your right eyes almost swells it shit. They're also puffy, no doubt from the wound and all the crying. In pain, agonizing pain, who knew getting shot in the head would give you such a bad headache? His soft hands find you again, pulling you close and gently for you face him.

One hand slides over the skin of the back of your arm, squeezing the muscle there as he presses an experimental kiss against your lips in fear you'll pull away. You couldn't if you tried, pull away that is. The smell of his soap overrides any other sense, his skin is soft and warm, his lips gentle as he strokes your hairline, pushing the hair away from your forehead. "I didn't say you have to stop, just be more careful about it, no more active missions but you can go after, make the arrests, still get in on the action."

"So let everyone else do the hard work while I sit on the sidelines? That not who I am."

"Please." He sounds desperate, blue eyes roaming over the soft features of your face, the wrinkle of irritation pinching lines between your forehead, the curve of your nose to the fullness of your lips. Beautiful, breathtaking, he's never loved something so much before. The fact that you're still laying next to him, breathing makes him want to cry.

So he does, unwanted tears fall in a messy, zig-zagged pattern as he hiccups. A soft, small hand finds his head, the buzz cut smooth under finger-tips.

"Bucky, baby.."

"I have lost everyone. My parents, my friends... Steve. I don't want to loose you either." A sound so sad, choked up and stuttering jumps his chest as he cries into your neck.

It's long over due, he refuses to speak about it. The last year of his life as been challenging to say the least, he's trying to adapt but struggling. Coming to terms of what he's done over the last 70 years but also learning how to love again, how to become human again.

Steve still haunts his dreams, his best friend, the man who saved him from Hydra, from everything is now gone. The one person who has been constant, his backbone but now he's finding that in you and honestly, his heart cant take much more.

"It's alright Buck, I'm not leaving you. I promise, I'm right here." It doesn't help, his heart his burning, chest crushing under the pressure of tears. The ball of emotion and growing and growing in the back of his throat, making it hard to speak. "You can't leave me.. you can't."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm okay."

"You're not okay, you can barely keep your eyes open. You have a gun shot wound in the side of your head! I felt it, your blood stains my hands. It's all I can smell. I thought you were dead... I can't take it."

What If he didn't miss? If Bucky had found you lifeless and cold?

"It's okay." You rub soothing circles to the middle of back, letting him cry it out. He needs it, he needs to talk about his problems, grow from them.

"What If we both stop?" Bucky's words silence you, "No more missions, we find a home, settle down. Just me and you."

The thought had crossed your mind more than once, a peaceful place to call your own with the man you love. Who knows what would happen? There's no doubt the pair of you would be bored out of your minds but can also gets jobs to fill the void, teach self defense classes.. start a family.

The thought alone makes your heart pound, so filled with love. "I want a normal life.. it's all I ever wanted. I can't imagine it with anyone else but I also need you safe. We can...." He's hesitant, not sure if they're the right words. "We can get married, get a home.. leave all this behind."

It's all so much, his words mix with the ache in the side of your skull but you don't need to think twice. The promise of Bucky forever is impossible to pass up on. "Yes."

"Yes to what?" Bucky's breathing is normal now, a few stray tears soaking your skin but his chest doesn't move. Like he's not breathing because he'll miss the words you say.

"All of it, to being your wife, to starting a normal life with you." After everything Bucky has been through, it's the least he deserves and you're going to give it to him. As his smile grows against your skin, you're breathless. Heart beating rapidly against his own and you swear you fall in love all over again.

[amoristt]

Grazing the Fire | IV

well hello. here i am, four years later, once again enamored with nathan enough to finally dust this baby off and pick up where i left it. im a little rusty so bear with me this chapter! much more to come <3

reblogs + tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)! it also helps motivate me!

story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!

Warning: language, very vague s/a mentions

want to support me? heres my kofi!

__________________________

“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?” 

A few hands raise in the corners of your eye, but yours remains atop your desk. Eyes far away, mind in a murky haze and almost completely unaware. All you could focus on were the memories playing on repeat within the confines of your tired, tired brain. Hours ago, you were warm, you were comfortable. Safe.

Cheeks heated to a dusting blush when you remind yourself just how you had awoken that morning. At some point in the night, an angel had blessed you. Allowed you to wake up wrapped around none other than big, bad, Nathan Prescott. Your face nuzzled into his chest, broad but wiry hands pressed firmly over your shoulder and his arm slung over your waist to keep you against him. Thankfully you had been the first to wake up, blinking away the morning sun blazing through his blinds and painting the room stripes of gold. At that moment, before your headache came crashing down onto your skull, you were astounded by him. 

Eye lashes brushing the top of his cheeks, his lips parted ever so slightly, chest rising and falling rhythmically. In that moment, there was no anger, no bitterness. Just a soft and peaceful slumber. It was like being the sole viewer of a magnificent painting- each stroke and detail placed just there just for you to pick out, to remember the curves and sharp edges down to the very foundation. From his unkempt hair down to the way his hand flattened onto the mattress where your indent still lived. Nathan was so beautiful like this. 

For a long time you stayed there. It was as though you were afraid to move- you couldn’t bear to disturb him. You had wondered, if he was always like this, so at peace, what would he be like? Likely soft voiced, mild mannered. He’d do his school assignments without hassle and donate to the charity board. He would wander the town with his friends and listen to music in a beat up truck flying down the stretch of highway overlooking the bold, blue, and beautiful ocean. An entirely different version of himself- carefree, and a fair blue as opposed to a burning flame of red. 

But, if that were the case, you’d never have gotten here. You’d never been both the outsider, and the only seeing eye. A lucky, albeit firstly unwilling witness to the display of depth before you. 

It never hit you like it had quite in that moment how lucky you were.

But- just then- an alarm disturbed what serendipity existed. You nearly leapt out of your skin, clutched your hands to your chest at the sudden sound. A headache wove its way into your once untouched temples. Nathan groaned, mumbled, ‘god damn it’, under his breath, and thus his body was reanimated into life. He rubbed his eyes and he stretched, that familiar scowl coming over his eyes and lips as he took in the sunlight damn near blinding him. A polar opposite to the being you’d appreciated just moments earlier.

“Ugh, fuck, how the fuck is it seven already.” He groaned. “I feel like shit.”

“Well good morning to you too,” You started, welcoming Nathan into the world. “‘I’m feeling pretty shitty as well.” 

You said that, but really… You were more than alright. Your head had hurt, slight nausea crept into the wells of your stomach, but other than that you’re sure you were phenomenally better than you’d have been waking up whereverTate would have left your ass.

“You need to get outta here, before everyone gets up.” Nathan drawled, but he didn’t sound as urgent as you expected him to be. You’d expected him to be angry that you were still in his room, but instead he just… accepted it. 

You snickered, climbing out of his throne of a bed. “Wow, you’re giving me the morning after treatment?” 

“Sure am. Get outta here, whore.”

“Oh fuck you.” 

You located your heels from last night, resting upright near his dorm room door. Heels didn’t sound like the most  practical to sneak out of a dorm with, so you instead opted to grappling them by the straps and carrying them at your side. Hair a mess, outfit riddled with wrinkles and makeup smudged under your eyes, you stood before Nathan in all your glory. He stared at you for a long, odd moment- and you for some reason felt exposed, or even, shy. 

“What?” You ask expectantly, placing a hand on your hip. 

His eyes trail to your line of vision. He shakes his head. “Just thinking about how now you really do look like my morning after.”

“Yeah?” You hummed. “Find it hard to believe you get a lot of those.”

Nathan shoots you a suggestive glance. “You’d be surprised. Everyone wants a piece of Prescott.”

Surely, he was joking, or maybe he wasn’t, but you… Didn’t like hearing that. It made your stomach feel odd, uncomfortably heavy.  As he stood up, reminding you how many inches he had over your size, you swallowed and cleared your throat to flush out that crappy feeling. “Well,” you started, mood having dropped. “I’m gonna go, then.” 

“What got your panties in a twist all the sudden?” He asked, raising a brow and pulling some clothes from his closet, tossing them onto the bed.

The bed you two had shared.

You hated the idea of his morning afters- whoever they may be. 

“Not feeling great. Probably a side effect of the roofies.” You mumbled.

Nathan breathed a laugh. “Probably.”

He seemed so calm, right now. Perhaps due to it being so early, before the outside world had a chance to remind him just why he was so uptight all the tight. Before he needed to be so uptight all the time. He really did have so many versions of himself- all of whom you were slowly becoming familiar with. Compared to the person you’d believed him to be before your run ins, you’d never have assumed someone so dangerous could be so soft as last night, as this morning. In the beginning, you’d feared him. Avoided him like a plague, or a wild animal. Even when you were enraptured in the existence of him, you still wanted to keep away. You’d never have believed someone like you could wake up clutched to his chest, as though he were afraid if he released you, you’d be gone long before he woke. 

Then, a sudden thought struck your mind. 

He’d held you so tight. He’d welcomed you in the morning. No anger, no annoyance. His soft laugh at your banter and taunts. How your heels were standing upright instead of tossed haphazardly into some random corner, where he’d watch your struggle to find. 

How he’d stayed awake to ensure your sleep.

“So are you just gonna stand there?” Nathan called you back to reality, hands gripping the hems of his shirt. “I gotta get ready and you need to wash up so you don’t look like a five dollar stripper.” Cruel words, but with absolutely no bite. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah. But, hey,” You started. “Thank you for last night.” 

“Yeah, yeah. You gotta start learning to watch your own back.” He says. “There’s gonna be times I won’t be there to drag your ass out of the fire.”

If you’d been charged, if you’d been stricken with a strange defensiveness, you’d have retorted, ‘than stop helping me’, but… Instead you allowed yourself the comfort of protection. You allowed Nathan Prescott to watch you.  

“I know,” You reached for the door. “Thank you.”

With that, you bounded out of the dorm silent as a mouse. 

-----------

In hindsight, you should have left earlier. Class was merely 15 minutes away when you slipped out of Nathan's room and bounded towards the women's dorm. Albeit not exactly a long walk, by the time you discreetly snuck back into your own dorm, you had roughly twenty minutes to somehow pick an outfit from your countless unopened boxes and make yourself even slightly presentable. 

Wiping off whatever make-up you could get and reapplying it, brushing out the tangles of your hair and nearly tearing off your scalp in the process, scattering your nightclothes over your floor and managing to scrounge out a semi-decent outfit for the day… You still looked a mess. If the mirror could laugh, it would have. Black mascara smudges under your eyes and frizzy untreated hair. What a lovely look. 

You’d made it to class just five minutes late, but those five minutes were all it took for all eyes to be on you as you tried to slide into the classroom unnoticed. A couple classmates whispered to their table mates as you passed by, smelling of oversaturated cherry blossom perfume to hopefully cover the scent of alcohol. You sauntered to your seat and sank down with all your weight, suddenly exhausted. You’d made it with just five minutes tainting your record of attendance. The teacher greeted you with a disappointed sigh, and thus, the day began. 

But, it was so hard to focus. All you could think about was Nathan. 

“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?” 

You lowered your head. 

“Ah, how about, ___?”

You snaked back into reality, blinking up at the chalk board that was somehow already riddled with math equations. Since you hadn’t been paying attention even in the slightest, your mouth gaped wide open, eyes scanning for something you understood even slightly so you didn’t look like a total idiot. 

Sadly, you were out of luck. The teacher shook his head. “I’m shocked,” He said. “You're normally so on top of things. Oh well.”

“Oh, I’m sure she was on top of things,” A female voice sniggered behind you “Last night.”

Your face flushed a red, hot, ruby. What the hell was she talking about? How had they found out you were with Nathan? You were so sure of being sneaky, there was no way-

“Her and Tate totally got it on last night.”

You whipped around in your seat, facing girls who looked to be clones of some sort. Both with the same dark eyes, short brown hair, and freckles. “What?”

“Alright-” Your teacher blurted. “That's enough. April, May, enough. Let’s not discuss things outside of the classroom.”

The two girls batted their eyes. “Sorry sir.” One spoke, twirling a hand through her hair. Her sister's wide toothy grin never fumbled. 

“Back to it then. Kate, can you help out __ with number four?” 

The small, blonde girl nodded quickly, brushing a lock of hair behind her eyes and offering an empathic nod. 

As you turned around in your seat, her answer fell on deaf ears. Your heart was racing in your chest, hands balled into fists while you stared ahead blankly.  

They couldn’t seriously think that you chose to leave with Tate, could they? Surely someone must have seen the state you were in. Someone other than Nathan.

The clock ticks forward but time feels like it's passing almost unnaturally slow. With just 10 minutes left, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.

‘Nathan: consider ur favor officially returned 

Your tongue poked from your lips, the tiniest of smiles taking over your once sullen features. Terrible thoughts and worries flew out the window while you type back, ‘damn. here i was gonna to ask you to do a backflip off the roof with me. there goes my plans.’

Nathan types for a moment. Typing, stopping, typing again. 

‘Nathan: soundz like a blast. where and when?’

A small blush heats your cheeks. ‘very funny. thanks to last night i have an entire 24 hour session of studying to catch up with.’

His response is almost instant. ‘Nathan: boringgg. txt me when ur fun.’

Rolling your eyes, you shove your phone back into your pocket. It seems you’ve been able to secure enough of a friendship with him for some mindless banter even outside your little visits. You smile. He’s… Fun to talk to. Surprisingly. 

Class comes to an end and you start to pack up the books and papers you’d hardly even glanced at the whole period. Whatever had been upsetting you before is lost in your mind while you think of the morning, the night before. All the things in-between. But, your happiness doesn’t last long. As you get up, you’re almost forced right back into your seat as a weight shoves into your shoulder. Your books scatter to the floor. April, the one who’d remarked about you earlier, glares at you in what looks to be disgust. 

“Careful April,” Her sister hums as she saunters past you, keeping distance and raising her already shrill tone of voice. “Might wanna watch where you’re walking- I’d hate for you to catch something from this slut.”

You absolutely gawk at her. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

April scoffs. “Oh come on, like everyone doesn’t know what you were up to last night.”

“Sleeping around isn’t a good color on you.” May hikes her bag over her shoulder and snickers at you. They both leave the class together, sickeningly in sync. You’re left stunned where you stand, unsure how the hell your life came to this so quickly. How you’ve stooped so low that the daughters of the world's most uncreative parents are able to bully you based on something that didn’t even happen.

Next class goes no better. The person to your right, a jockey looking brunette guy, asks, ‘have you ever heard of a Tate?’. You say no, that that’s the dumbest name you’ve ever heard. The idiot grins and goes back to marking down likely wrong answers on his test sheet and you debate kicking the leg of his chair out- but you don’t to avoid even more eyes on you. It makes you sick to your stomach- even more than recovering from the roofies does. How can everyone believe it? You barely even knew the guy and you were clearly uncomfortable with his advances. No one saw that? 

After everything you’d worked for to build a reputation, trying so hard to not call out peoples shit for the sake of seeming friendly, tainted over something that didn’t even happen? And the kicker was that it hadn’t even been your fault! He’d drugged you, he’d have taken advantage of you! Yet you were the bad person? 

Class came and went in the blink of an eye this time. Your mind wrapped up in the situation, your stomach churning. You wanted the day to be over with but you still had 4 more classes to suffer through. Why was this happening to you? Was Tate being treated just as horribly, or was he getting pats on the backs of his unaware friends?

Wandering down the halls to your locker, you noticed Lance and Kaz hanging around one of the drinking fountains. Your nerves quelled- your friends would surely make you feel much better. Especially since they had witnessed how awful you were feeling as you left. You approach with a relieved smile, ready to say your truth and finally have someone on your side.

“Hey guys.” You smile, but Lance looks down at his feet while Kaz places her hands to his hips. Your smile fades.

“You could have told us you were gonna spend the night with Tate,” Kaz snaps. “You didn’t need to lie like that just to leave. We were all worried about you and it was for nothing.”

“What?” You feel like you could cry. “No, Kaz, I really did try to leave. Tate tried to drug me and take me home, and-”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Lance interrupts, with a frown. He looks back down at the floor with knitted brows. “I’ve known Tate since before time. He wouldn't do something like that, especially not to one of my best friends. Plus he told me he was really into you. Why would he even try?”

“Are you serious?” You sputter. “You think I’d lie about something like that?”

“You’ve been lying about all sorts of things!” Kaz huffs. “What’s going on with you lately? You’ve been so distant, and secretive. What are you hiding that’s making you lie like this? We’re supposed to be your friends and then you lie to our faces just to go and fuck the first guy that shows you attention.”

“What…?” It was like acid. It was like the rug had been pulled from your feet sending you spiraling down the unending cliff. Kaz, your best friend, all that venom. How could they turn against you like this? What the hell is going on? You felt your throat tighten. “Look, I’m sorry if I’ve been distant, but I’m not lying to you, I-”

“We gotta go.” Lance isn’t in the mood to hear it. “We’ll catch up to you.. Some other time.”

Kaz says nothing as she pushes past you. Lance, at least, spares a short glance over his shoulder. You stood there alone in the hallway, your bag falling off your shoulder and clattering onto the floor with a thud echoing off the walls. Everything you had, all gone at once. 

No one believed you.

---------

With nowhere to go where you felt like you could truly allow yourself to process the day's events, you went to the only place you knew. 

Just outside of campus, where rocks lined the edge of the boundary, overlooking the outskirts of the town and the ocean stretching as far as the eye could see. You settled yourself there, staring at the vast waters and wondering how this had all happened. Unlucky didn’t even begin to cover how it felt. Not only did you feel violated with Tate attempting to do unthinkable things with your unconscious body, but you also felt alone, and walked on. Your best friends hadn’t believed you. While Lance seemed saddened, Kaz was so… Angry. Her words cut like knives into your skin. 

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve this.

You want to talk to Nathan, but knowing him, he’d see your state and bounce instantly. After all, this isn’t exactly very fun of you.

As the sun began to fall, splaying orange and blues over the wide open sky, behind you, you could hear voices. A group of them, some male, some female. Memories of when your notebook had gotten snatched by those two horsed face assholes came flooding back and with all your alertness, you stood up, and decided that this sitting place was no longer safe. Nothing was.

Before you even made it ten feet away, the group had found their way to your spot and gotten comfortable, one of the girls cheering, ‘this’ll be our hangout! look at how pretty the view is!’

You took a short drive down the stretches of road and decided that if you were going to lament in your own sadness, you were at least going to do so in a place that had something to cover the sound of your tears. Plus a nice view.

The beach, littered with its picnic tables and the sounds of crashing waves would suffice just fine. So, you pulled in the desolate parking lot and wandered down the sandy shores until you stumbled upon a picnic table shaded by a large willow cascading lushious branches to block out the sun- a perfect canopy for you to wallow under. 

You had nothing at that moment. No friends, no reputation, no one to believe your tragic tale. And now, you’d just lost the one spot that made you feel comfortable when stress was building into your body like concrete. Tears pricked into the corners of your eyes and you bit your lip, dreading that feeling of a lump in your throat. Why you? Everything had been going so well. How could not even a single person believe that Tate had tried to hurt you?

Well, actually, there was one person.

Of course Nathan believed you. He’d been the one to rescue you, after all. Time and time again it seemed.  How was it that even the ones closest to you would turn their back so fast, yet Nathan seemed to be there even when you didn’t want him to be? Even when you yelled at him, and he yelled right back, fire and sparks falling into embers around the two of you. 

In that moment, you almost felt like you could finally relate to him. A reputation based on lies and things out of your control, paired with a hardheaded attitude to try and combat all the assumptions. 

No wonder he was so angry. 

“Hey bitch,” A voice suddenly called, and you had a split second moment where you were terrified of once again being the victim of a cruel prank or some classmates boredom. “How about next time you have a pity party you don’t fucking call me in the middle of it.”

You blinked away your tears and through the blurriness saw a figure coming towards you. All that sass, the tone...

“Nathan?” You breathed. It only takes moments before he’s in front of you, holding his phone in view, seeing that the call that had been running for nearly ten minute. You flush in embarrassment, pulling your phone from your back pocket. “How did that happen?”

“Well, can your ass dial numbers?” He taunts, ending the call. 

“Damn it, dumb phone must have butt-dialed you. I knew I should’ve gotten a different one.” You mentally kick yourself. “It must have unlocked in my pocket.”

“You don’t have a password on your phone?” He taunts. When you shake your head, he whistles. “You are just begging for a robbery. I’ll keep that in mind when I’m in the mood to send random messages to all your buddies.” 

“Fuck off.” You scowl, and he grins, hopping up on the picnic table next to you. The sun flatters his skin. He’s almost glowing. 

“Speaking of buddies, how the hell did it pick my number out of your sea of friends?”

You shrug. “Probably cuz’ it’s a priority contact.” 

“Oh lala, I’ve been upgraded to priority huh? Does it display a superman logo whenever you give it a ring?”

“Nope. When I press call it rings the nearest asshole in my vicinity. The fact that it’s you is your own problem.”

“Haha, fucking ha.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. He stares out at the water, watching waves pull and crash onto the beach. It’s almost beautiful, until he ruins it. “Yknow, you’re a really ugly crier.”

“Wow, thanks.” You shake your head. “That's exactly what I needed to hear right now. Why did you even stay on the line?.” Wiping your eyes, you start to forget your tears. “Couldn’t have been that wild of a conversation.”

Nathan shrugs. “Between the crying and the sound of the waves it was pretty nice.” He grins. “Very educational.” 

“Awesome. Glad I was able to make your day.” It doesn’t feel like your usual bitey remarks. You’re tired, you’re still a little hurt and you can’t stop thinking about how such an amazing morning had turned into such a horrible day.

“So what’s got you all fucked up? Never seen you act like this big of a baby before.”

“Nothing. You already paid off your debt to me per this morning, so feel free to resume our regularly scheduled mutual hatred.” You say, lying through your teeth. You know you’re both past the point of hatred, but you’re feeling jaded, you can’t help it. 

“Oh shut the fuck up,” He groans. “I didn’t drag my ass all the fucking way out to this shit hole of a beach just for you to give me that bullshit. What, did you fail a test? No one matched you on tinder?”

“Everyone thinks me and Tate slept together last night.” You blurt. “I think he’s telling people me and him had sex.”

Nathan tenses his shoulders and grimaces. “Fucking werido.”

“I told my best friends that he tried to take advantage of me and they don’t believe me. One of em’ even said he wouldn’t do something like that.”

“Fuck em’. Who needs best friends.”

“And to make everything so much better, these two bitches that I share four of my classes with harassed me all goddamn day. I mean, fucks sake, how the hell are girls named April and May of all things able to get to me. It’s bullshit. And to make matters worse, Tate is just… Getting away with it.”

“Yeah well, something tells me that Tate’s gonna get a real nice fucking taste of medicine eventually. I just gotta find him first. He’s got a lot of nerve spreading shit around given I knocked his ass onto the pavement.” Nathan brows knit at the memory.

You test the waters. “Why would you do that for me?”

He seems caught off guard, or maybe, surprised that you’d ask. Maybe he thinks you’re both beyond that point. He grumbles, “Why does it matter.”

“I’m just curious. We don’t owe each other anything, remember?”

“Yeah, well,” He huffs. “Don’t ask me questions to shit I don’t know the answer to.”

“You say that an awful lot.” You tease.

“Yeah well you ask dumbass questions an awful lot. Not everything I do has to have some weird ass motives behind it, ___. Maybe I’ve got beef with Tate that’s outside of you.”

“Uhuh. Sure.” You’re about to say something else, when your phone lights up with a text. The display makes your heart fall all over again. 

Unknown Number: you should just pack up and go somewhere else. no one wants std’s from breathing your air xoxo

You don’t even know who that is. Now absolute strangers are on your case. You want to throw your phone into the ocean and leave.

Nathan scoffs. “Don’t even bat a fucking eye for that bitch, whoever the hell they are. Half the hoes you’ve mentioned have slept with half the football team,” he pinches his jacket, “and I would know.”

“Ew, Nathan,” You grimace, that same feeling from the morning returning. It feels, oddly, like jealousy.  He nudges your arm with his elbow and grins playfully. It’s cute.

“Chill, I’m just fucking with you. You gotta know even I wouldn’t fuck girls that desperate. I’m a man of class.”

That last comment actually forces a laugh from you. It’s soft, but it’s real. The first laugh you’ve genuinely had all day. “That’s horrible.” You remark, giggling again.

It's almost like the slight restoration of your mood puts him at ease as well. He leans back on his hands and stares off into the ocean, those sparkling waters under the setting, orange sun. “I’m for real though. Those hoes aren’t worth your time. One day when we blow this shithole of a town they’re not even gonna matter.”

Your brows knit, eyes blinking up at him. Had you heard that right? 

“We?” You ask, perplexed, albeit a little… Hopeful.

Nathan sputters. “Well- Like, when everyone’s older and-”

“You know what, it's fine.” You interrupt. “Fuck it. You’re right. We’re gonna blow this town and they’re just gonna be some shitty memories.”

He sucks in a shaky breath. You’ve never heard him scramble like that, like he’s been unmasked. The look he casts you when you agree, when you don’t tease or patronize and finally hop on the idea that yeah, what if the two of you really didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

What if the two of you could just exist, without the anger. 

You look up at him. “Would you actually do that though?” You start. “With me, of all people?”

He swallows. His expression is tense, but he’s not upset. He appears nervous, caught off guard. Nathan tries, “I-”

Your phone rings. Shrill, piercing. Mood destroying. 

“Jesus Christ, it’s my mom.” You grab your phone and Nathan looks forward, stone faced and silent as you hop off the table and answer. It’s your mother, who all but shouts into the phone that her and your father are taking a surprising visit to Arcadia Bay while they’re traveling by on their vacation. She insists that you be ready in about an hour for dinner, and likely there will be family photos. 

Which means if you still look as wrecked as you did this morning, you’re gonna have a lot of washing up to do. With a quick goodbye, a short and sweet, ‘love you’, you hang up and sigh. 

“You still tell your mom you love her?” He teases. “What are you, five?”

You frown. “You don’t tell your parents you love them?”

Nathan side eyes you, and just shrugs. It is all the answer you need, really, and for his sake you decide it wouldn’t be best to press the issue. Not now. But- it still makes your heart hurt just a little. You wished that he’d had it better growing up. 

“Right… Do you want a ride home?”

“Fuck no, what am I,” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “a fucking girl scout?” 

“I was just offering, weirdo.” When he doesn't get up, you feel like you’re missing out. Like if you stayed, maybe, just maybe, you’d get to know him a little better. “Hey, if you want, I can stay for a bit longer.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re needed elsewhere. But,” he shrugs. “I don’t know. Fuckin’... Text me or something. Or not, I don’t care either way.”

There’s a small warmth in your chest that rises to your cheeks. He wants you to text him. “Yeah,” You say. “If I’m feeling fun.”

And with that, you bid him farewell, beginning your descent to the parking lot. 

“Hey,” He calls, and you turn just in time to catch a small item he’s tossed right at you. A tiny key resides in the palm of your hand. “Spare. If shit hits the fan again-...” He shrugs, and actually looks away. “Just don’t be too fucking loud of I’ll kick your ass out myself. No Madison needed.”

The widest grin plays over your lips. “I’m gonna re-decorate your room while you’re gone.”

“Ah, you fucking better not.” He shouts. “Actually- you know what, give it back.” 

“No, no! I’m sorry.” You play with the key between your fingers. “Thanks for this.”

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t lose it and remember- emergencies only. I don’t need you watching me sleep like fucking freak. We’re past that stage.” 

“How many times will I have to say I was never watching you. Christ… But, alright. See ya, then.” The key is heavy in your palm. 

You place it into your pocket and give him one last glance before you take off, leaving him to enjoy the sound of waves, birds, and the absence of your tears.

[agirlwhoisaphantom]

Turning Page- Bucky Barnes x Reader

Turning Page- Bucky Barnes x Reader

a/n: This is a 3 part one shot. I wanted all parts to have their moment since there is going to be a bunch of fluff in them. Especially because they all take place at different times. This first part will be when you find out you are pregnant and you tell Bucky about it.

Words Count: 2300

Warnings: Fluff a lot of it. A hint of insecurity 

Summary: You have been feeling weird for the past couple of days. You decided to take a test and the results shocked you. Was telling Bucky about the results a great idea?

Hmm, the smell of freshly baked cookies surrounds you as you walk into the kitchen. Besides the smell of roses, your second favorite smell was the smell of homemade food. 

For the past three days, you haven’t felt the greatest. You had been vomiting, having random headaches, and you felt a very high fever. You didn’t think of it much. You must have been getting the cold or the flu.

You loved eating Chinese food, but for the past three days, whenever you wanted to eat it, you would immediately vomit it. You tried getting the food from different places, but it always led to the same results.

Searching your symptoms on the internet wasn’t the greatest idea, but you were just curious about what you might have.

Early signs of pregnancy

Signs that you might be Pregnant

Symptoms of the Flu

Those were your main results when you googled your symptoms. The one that made the most sense to you was that you might have the flu. Then it clicked to you. You and Bucky have never used protection, especially because you are on the pill. So you weren’t concerned about the lack of condoms. 

“Could I have been pregnant” “No, it can’t be” “what if I was? How will I tell Bucky?” your heart started to race faster and faster as your mind started to wonder if you were pregnant. You go through a roller coaster of emotions. You were excited, terrified, happy, sad, worried, every emotion in the book. Happy because you and Bucky have been talking about wanting to start your own little family. You were terrified because what if he didn’t want to have a kid this early? What would happen to Bucky? Would he quit? That was never something that popped up for the both of you.

Wanda walks into the room with a worried look on her face. “I don’t want to be that person, but I can hear your thoughts miles away. Is everything alright?” she takes a seat next to where you were sitting. She takes your hand and tries to comfort you. “I can go buy you a couple of tests if that brings your mind to ease.” you give her a small nod. She leans in forward to hug you. “I’ll be back. Wait right here and try to relax.” 

The moment she left the room, you go to the bathroom and start preparing for a bath. You stare at yourself in the mirror, looking at your lower stomach. You were able to see a small bump. You place your hand on your stomach. Now you were fantasizing, what if you were pregnant? Would it be a mini you or a mini James? 

You had the biggest smile at the thought that you might be carrying a baby in your stomach. 

You lower your body into the warm bath full of bubbles. You now felt relaxed. All you could focus on was the playlist that Bucky created for you, full of music that reminded him of you. The playlist went from 40’s music to present-day songs. Your mind wanders back to that day, where he was showing you the playlist he created for you.

You both were cuddling on the couch watching Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back. Your head was lying on his right shoulder and your arms wrapped around his bicep. Bucky looked confused watching the movie “so this is what you and Peter enjoy watching?” 

“Yes, this is a good movie, and if you don’t be quiet, I’m going to throw a handful of popcorn towards you” you giggled a little. You were serious. If he didn’t stay quiet, you were going to do that.

He turns his head, pressing his lips against your forehead. “Doll, I would like to see you try,” He whispers as he maintains his lips pressed on your skin. 

Without hesitation, you take a handful of popcorn and throw it to his face. He does the same thing and throws popcorn at you. At this point, you both forgot about the movie and focused on just throwing each other popcorn. There were shared laughs and smiles between the two of you.

Bucky moves to the floor, grabbing the pillow next to him, trying to protect himself. You grab the pillow next to you as well. 

Minutes pass by, and now the living room looked like a mess. It seemed like a popcorn machine has just exploded. The bowl that you and Bucky were getting popcorn was now empty.

You both were trying to catch your breath. From all the laughter you both had. Bucky gets back up and sits on the couch. He put his right arm around your shoulder. 

“Now, how are we going to watch the movie without popcorn?” you cross your arms and have a small frown on your face.

With his metal hand, he unwraps your arms and takes your left hand. He brings it up to his lips and softly kisses it “that sounds like a problem, doesn’t it doll?” he had a small smirk on his face.

You ignored him and snarky comment. It did make you giggle a little. 

Once the movie ended, Bucky reaches to his pocket and takes out his phone. “Doll, I have a surprise for you” his voice got small and a bit shaky. He was always nervous about giving you a present. He would always think that you wouldn’t like it.

He scratches his head, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to give this to you. It was something different it wasn’t the usual thing that he has given you. Such as flowers or food.

You notice how tense he was, so you place your hand on his cheek. You slowly move your thumb against his skin. “Baby, no matter what it is. I know I’m going to love it” you nodded briefly with a small smile on your face.

He takes a big gulp, but he was a bit more relaxed than he was a couple of minutes ago. “okay,” there is a small pause in between. He was unsure if he wanted to continue “Just to let you know Peter helped me create this since he knows more about this magic box than I do” he gave a brief giggle and hands you the phone “look for the app called Spotify, and there should be a playlist with your name on it.” 

You always found it cute that he never knew how the technology worked, but he was always willing to learn for you, as you scroll through the apps trying to find Spotify. The moment you opened the app, there it was the playlist made for you. The name of it was “songs that remind me of my angel.” You clicked on the playlist to see what songs it had. The playlist had over 100 songs.

Tears start falling down your cheeks. You were happy. You couldn’t believe that he had done this for you. 

Bucky had a concerned look on his face. “Doll, no, don’t start crying.” His voice was shaky, and he started to panic slowly. He intended never to make you cry.

You place both of your hands on his cheeks and pull him in for a kiss. As you both were kissing, you get on top of him, leaving no space in between the two of you. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you in closer. 

You pull away for a moment. “Thank you, Bucky. I love it”

-----------------------------

You hear a knock on your door. “Hey, I’m back from the store with the tests” You sighed in relief. It was Wanda. 

You rapidly get out of the bathtub and grab a towel to wrap yourself in. “You can come in, Wanda.”

Wanda opens the door and places the tests on the countertop. She grabs a towel “turn around. I want to help you dry your hair” you listened to her and let her dry your hair. “I don’t know how you might feel, but one thing I will reassure you about is that no matter what the results may say. Bucky is always going to love you.” 

With what Wanda has just told you, it put your mind at ease. She was right. No matter what, he was always going to be there. You take Wanda’s hand “can you stay here with me while I take these?” you had a small smile on your face as she gives you a nod.

You put on your PJs. You didn’t want to stay in a towel anymore. Opening the box, you can feel your heart racing, a hundred beats a minute. 

The moment you took the test, you stared at it. You were waiting for the results to pop up. On the box, it said to wait for five minutes. To you, those five minutes felt like an eternity. You wanted to know, and you wanted to know now.

Positive.

Two dark blue lines, you started at those lines for a couple of minutes. Those minutes felt like they were hours. You wanted to make sure you weren’t delusional and that you saw those lines. The results on that little stick were positive. You were pregnant, something you thought wasn’t possible. But it happened, your heart full of joy and love. You were going to be a mom, and Bucky was going to be a dad. The little family you both, have dreamt for years is finally happening. 

Before telling Bucky about the news, you wanted to feel confident about the results. Lucky, the pregnancy test box that Wanda bought had two inside. You take a big breath before you take it, just in case if those results were negative. You didn’t want to your hopes up. You take the second test, and the same dark blue lines from earlier show up. Once again, your heart fills up with happiness, joy, but mainly love.

You couldn’t wait till Bucky came home. You were so excited to tell him. 

Wanda didn’t have to ask you about your results. She already knew, especially because you had the biggest smile on your face. 

Hours pass by, you were thinking about how you were going to tell him. “Should I just tell him the moment he walks in?” “no, that would catch him by surprise” “Should I-?” your thoughts were running wild. Before you knew it, the door was opening.

Bucky throws his bag onto the couch. He looked exhausted; it looked like he had a very long day. You run towards him and hug him tightly. “Woah, Woah, looks like someone missed me” He holds you and gently kisses your head. 

He grabs your hand and starts walking towards the direction where the couch was. He sits down and pats his thigh as he wants you to sit on his lap. The moment you sat down, he wraps his arms around you. “I’m glad that I’m finally holding my baby girl in my arms.” Whenever he would call you his baby girl, your cheeks would turn bright red with the biggest smile. “I can’t get enough of that beautiful smile of yours. Such a sweet smile that lights up your whole face” He places his hand on your cheek and pulls you in for a kiss. 

You lay your head on his shoulder. You were taking a big breath before you said anything. Once again, your heart was racing. “Bucky,” there was a small pause. You wanted to make sure you said the right words and that he would be able to hear you. “I’m pregnant.” 

Silence 

You could hear his heartbeat increase. You were unsure what face he had. You didn’t know what emotion he was portraying. All you could feel and hear is the sounds of his heartbeat dramatically increase. 

The silence lasted for minutes. “Oh no, did I do the wrong thing by telling him?” you thought. You hated the silence. Your stomach started twisting and turning.

Bucky takes a big breath and places his hand on your lower stomach. “are we-“ he pauses for a moment, his voice got small and shaky, “are we going to be parents?” He starts to slowly move his hand in circular motions on your stomach.

You left up to your head from his shoulder and looked at him. He had the biggest smile on his face, tears forming in his eyes. He was happy. He knew the answer you were going to say without saying a word. Just the look on your face said it all. 

Bucky places his hand behind your head, slowly running his fingers through your hair. He pulls you in, pressing his lips against yours. It felt like time has stopped for the both of you. All you could focus on was how soft he felt against your lips, how addictively he invaded all your senses. 

You both were kissing like there was no tomorrow and as if your lives were dependent on it. Bucky tongue slips inside your mouth, gentle but yet so demanding. Even though this wasn’t the first time he had done that, it always felt like it was. This was the type of kiss that melted you into his arms, every square inch of your body dissolves into his. Moving your hand from his neck to his hair, you grip his hair, pulling him closer. 

Without breaking the kiss, he pushes you gently onto the couch. Now you were lying down. Meanwhile, he was on top of you. He pulled away for a moment and had the cutest smile on his face “Baby girl. We are going to be parents” you give him that same smile and give him a small nod.

[kidney9-9]

November Bet

@hollandlover19​ asked: 

Can you write something where peter is dating the reader and she’s an avenger with similar powers to Wanda meaning she can read his mind and for the past two weeks peter has been horny as fuck and it’s driving him nuts cus he made a bet with Sam and Bucky to see who could survive the longest during no nut November so he’s trying to resist the urge to jack off but the only thing that will calm him down is y/n but she had to go on an emergency mission and won’t be back till later so he just lays in his room crying cuz everything hurts sorry if this is too specific you don’t have to write it if you don’t want to 🖤

Hey there hun! Hope you enjoy! Thank you for sending this in. Just a note: I have no idea how boners feel after a certain amount of time, but I’m assuming it’s really painful since it’s a muscle straining itself?? (i think lmao) But this was interesting to write since I usually put more humor in my writing, and this one turned out sort of sad! Everyone is over the legal age in this piece.

Masterlist is linked in my bio, tags in reblog.

Peter Parker x Reader [Angst with sort of happy ending] Warnings: boner, pain and swearing Word Count: 1.6k

Peter regretted the bet so much now. 

It happened back on the 31st of October, when everyone was resting about, eating junk food and candy. Sam and Bucky had been teasing Peter for almost two weeks now after catching you and Peter getting a bit steamy in one of the weaponry rooms, and he wanted pay back. Peter thought he could control himself for a month because obviously he was able to do it before he reached puberty, so it should be fine! But fuck, did he regret it now, making a bet with Sam and Bucky to see who could survive the longest following the No Nut November challenge.

Day one was normal, he had so much confidence. He only let himself kiss your cheek though, and glance over to you when you would dress during the morning.

But now, two weeks in, he couldn’t fucking handle it. You were too hot. Tonight, was a gala event for Pepper and Tony starting a charity for children with heart problems which would start funding research into heart disease, and funding families who couldn’t afford treatments. You were wrapped in a silky flowing dress that Peter wanted to drool over. The small peaks he’d see over you twirling around, dancing to the classical music, and the fabric would outline your ass perfectly. Fuck, it was too much for him.

He had too many thoughts about it though. He wanted to reach out and squeeze you, spank you, trace every part of your body with his tongue. He wanted to devour you tonight; he wanted to fuck you out of your mind only to bring you back to another orgasm after the last.

Yes, the boner was showing very much.

It didn’t help when you’d look over to him worriedly, and he knew you could hear every single thought of his. It was your power, but you called it a curse. You spoke to him a few days before about how you heard his pleas to make love to you once again, but you reminded him of the bet and what he would have to do if he lost.

The loser had to streak and run across the outdoor gardens of the Compound at any time the winner felt like it; only once though. Peter thought about losing constantly, wishing he could lose, but he knew he shouldn’t. He couldn’t let Bucky and Sam win like that, after them teasing him for so long. It would be humiliating, sure, Peter didn’t care much about that. But he cared about it humiliating you as well, he didn’t want them to tease you about it too.

“Baby, want to leave?” You mumbled to Peter, causing him to flinch out of his trance. Peter gazed down at your body for a moment, and cleared his throat, flushing immensely while he looked away. Your curves… he was so in love with everything about you.

“Mm, yeah sorry about this.” Peter signaled down to his boner and he could just imagine how some people had already saw it and started speaking about him, but he just needed to leave. You nodded sympathetically back to him, reaching out and grasping his shoulder to comfort him.

He shrugged your hand off after a shiver went through his body, breathing heavily as another wave of lust flushed through him, “I’m sorry. I- I don’t mean to, it’s just…” He trailed off, glancing back up to your face and seeing you nodding understandably back to him.

“I know, I hear it too. Text Tony and Pepper in an hour and tell them something came up. They’ll be okay with it.” You responded, almost wanting to stay behind to talk with the two more. They were one of the funniest but loveliest couples you met.  You felt close to them, almost as if they had a parental authority over you.

“I will, thank you.” Peter whispered back, gulping nervously as he tried to adjust his forming hard on. He just needed to go take a cold shower as soon as possible, and he already started thinking of strange things.

Deformed candles. Cheetos in beans on someone’s head. Evil cartoon characters. A dictionary with misspelled words.

You giggled, shaking your head at the things he comes up with in his thinking. You walked out of the ballroom with him, distancing yourself and opting to take an uber home instead, so he didn’t feel trapped. You worried about him during this month, realizing how bad it would feel to not nut for a guy.

You wished you could help him, but he wanted to keep the bet going.

When you got back to the Compound, your alarm instantly went off and your eyes widened, realizing you had to leave now. It was an emergency mission, you quickly read through the report, seeing that one of your contacts was revealed and gave up some information that needed to stay private. You rushed as fast as you can, barely sending a text to Peter who just got back to the Compound, saying you needed to leave.

Peter finally opened the text when he fell back on his bed, still struggling. He groaned, feeling his boner build up again, just imagining you out in the field, looking so sweaty and ready for anything. “Fuck…” He whimpered, quickly sitting up. He was worried for you being out there by yourself, but he knew he shouldn’t doubt your abilities. At the same time, he was trying to stop his feelings, because it just furthered his pain.

He cupped his boner, stumbling up and thinking to himself, how long has it been now? He couldn’t help it, thinking about sex. Fuck, it was crazy he wanted to just touch you again, how much he missed touching you was driving him insane. He couldn’t masturbate, he would lose the bet.

The winner also had the benefit of getting the title, “Greatest Person of the Year”, which included perks of people not teasing him and you, and many more. It would be great to have Bucky and Sam off your backs.

He set his phone down while he turned the shower on cold, needing to get in there as soon as possible. Maybe it would work now, but he couldn’t tell if it was too late to help. He still needed you by his side. Whether it was sexual or not, he loved you and needed to be by you.

“Ouch – oh shit.” He whined, coughing as the cold water hit his bare back. He stripped himself as quick as possible, now realizing he kept his socks on. He criticized himself, why’d you leave your socks on? Why are you doing this now?

The shower didn’t help at all. Once his body got used to the temperature, he got flashes of visions of you, from missing you. He groaned out of anger at himself for doing it, and he had to stop himself from palming his boner.

He got out of the shower, rushing to his phone and dialing your mission phone, that was connected to the earpiece you wore. When it connected, he could hear you grunting as you punched one of the people that attacked you.

“P-Peter? What’s up?” You stuttered, breathing heavily as you ran down to the other room, trying to get away for a few seconds to just get your mind together to focus.

“Oh shit- I’m sorry!” Peter rambled, forgetting you were busy. He hit his head and groaned to himself, hearing you on the other side of the phone.

Stop thinking like that idiot! He reminded himself, and you responded to him after a moment of shuffling around in the corner. “It’s okay! Is everything good? You alright, babe?” You whispered, glancing around and picking up one of the objects in the room with one of your powers, focusing it by the doorway to protect yourself.

“Yeah…uh, I’ll get you go. Please be safe. I love you.” Peter sighed out, scratching his hair as he sat by the edge of the bed, hoping you were okay.

You quickly responded to him, “Love you. I’ll be back in a few hours I think, maybe 12 hours tops?” You randomly guessed the time, knowing there was a lot to do. You hung up when you heard someone’s footsteps.

Peter gazed down at his boner, now fully erect and he frowned. The blood hurt so much in his cock; he couldn’t do anything though. He laid back on the bed, his head on his pillow, still naked, knowing any clothing would hurt to put on.

He tried to focus his thinking on something else again, anything. It barely helped, and he ended up squeezing his eyes shut as the pain rumbled through his body, the soreness was too much. He felt a few tears form and start to leak down his face, and he had to remind himself everything would be okay soon.

He rolled over, doing breathing techniques, trying to calm down. The tears wouldn’t stop coming though and he bit his lip, holding back his cries. It must have been ten or twenty minutes later when he pushed the pillow over his head, now having a headache from crying and the pain.

He held the pillow close, trying to block any light from the devices in the room, crying himself to sleep as the pain worsened.

When you got back, you quickly paced over to the room, needing to check Peter. You could tell he was struggling when he spoke to you and you pouted when you opened the door, seeing him laying on the bed. It was upsetting to see him with dried tear stains on the pillows, and you leaned down, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek.

His boner was gone now, but you could tell he was probably in pain still. You laid down next to him, holding his arm softly, just hoping this dumb bet would be over soon so he wouldn’t struggle like that again.

[heybeybey]

Kismet

Braindumped this yesterday so now you have this fic.

Thanks to @sleeperswakewriting and @anya-grace. They didn't really push me to write this. It's more like 2 people liked the idea and I'm weak for Rivetra so here you go.

Still dedicating this to the two of you for supporting my need for lolo (grandpa) levi + roller skating petra!! 🖤🧡

Pairing: Rivetra | Levi x Petra

Genre: Fluffy romance!!! Tooth-rotting fluff so sweet that I'm gonna write heartbreaking angst next to balance things out.

Summary: The ginger-haired waitress skates over to him, her pink skirt a flurry behind her. She stops beside his table and gives him a disarming smile. "Welcome to Kismet Diner! What will you be having today, sir?"

Okay, so this diner wasn't a shitty choice after all.

Or: 50s Diner Waitress! Petra x Retired Soldier! Levi Modern AU

[Also, if you wanna listen to the songs Levi was forced to listen to in this fic, here's the playlist.]

--

Sweeter than candy on a stick Huckleberry, cherry or lime If you had a choice he'd be your pick But lollipop is mine

If he's going to listen to another most-likely-already-dead-woman belt out a cheery love song, Levi's sure he's going to finally pop a vein. He grumbles as the next track plays, grateful that this one is more on the mellow side so he can actually focus on his work.

Old school music on loop aside, Kismet Diner is actually pretty decent. They serve good food for an establishment that he thinks is trying way too hard to be a blast-from-the-past monstrosity.

Levi found the place by accident when he was out trying to find a place to work. He didn't feel like spending another evening inside his apartment and thought a change in scenery might help him decompress his mind.

Fucking codes just won't write itself, he thinks.

After wheeling himself around his new neighbourhood for a while, he found that this diner was the only thing open. Having no other choice, he found a spot for himself and settled in with his laptop.

He didn't expect that he'll be returning every night though.

(And that he'd be willing to listen to these cheesy retro love songs every time.)

From behind his laptop, he sneaks another glance at the bubbly server.

He distinctly remembers his first night here. A ginger-haired waitress skated over to him, her pink skirt a flurry behind her, as he settles in his chosen seat. She stopped beside his table and gave him a disarming smile. "Welcome to Kismet Diner! What will you be having today, sir?"

Okay, so this diner wasn't a shitty choice after all, he recalls thinking at that time.

It took him a moment or two to finally answer her and she diligently noted down his order. She flashed him one last smile after she promised that she'll bring his food over in five minutes.

He spent those five minutes feeling like a real creep because his eyes never left her.

It's been a few days since then and he watches her now as she picks up the leftovers from the table in front of his. She wishes a customer goodbye, and skates back to the counter.

"Petra! Think you can extend your shift a little bit? Rico called in sick," a voice from the counter calls out.

"Sure! Her shift's until 1 am right?" The ginger, Petra, replies.

And that's how Levi found himself staying at Kismet Diner until 1 am.

- - -

I laughed at love 'cause I thought it was funny You came along and you moved me honey I've changed my mind, this love is fine

"I think the customers like this song but I can't seem to place what the title is..." The rush hour has since lulled when Petra wonders out loud to the other waitress who's still in the kitchen.

He remembers this one. The older guys back in the military would belt it out when they're drunk as fuck on days when they're allowed to have a break. Frankly, it gave him a headache every time and he doesn't know how Erwin and all the other soldiers were able to take Pyxis seriously after his one-man concert.

He speaks up without thinking.

"Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis."

"Yes, that's the title!" Her eyes light up and she fully spins to face him. "You're into oldies music?"

Levi blinks, and for the first time in his life, he found his throat dry because she's finally talking to him fuck fuck fuck what will he say what was the question again.

"Uh... yeah, I guess?"

Wait, what?

She skates over to his table, a wide smile on her face. "That's so cool! I don't meet a lot of people my age who's still into the oldies. Even my dad teases me about it."

"Oh..."

"What's your name? I'm Petra, by the way. But I think you already know that," she grins sheepishly, pointing to her name plate. "I know I shouldn't really be talking to you but you're here every night so I thought it might be great to get to know our regular customers more."

He blinks up to her, trying to get a hold of himself before he fucks this up even more.

"Levi."

"Nice to meet you, Levi." She looks at her wristwatch and her surroundings, probably checking if there are more tables to cater to, before turning back to him. "My shift's over but I think you stay up late here, right? Mind if I sit with you? I haven't eaten dinner yet and I'd appreciate the company."

He gives her a shrug as his approval and she beams another smile before disappearing back to the kitchen. Petra comes back after a few minutes, still in her pink waitress uniform but without the cap and she also changed her skates to normal cream flats. She brought along a small bag and she unpacks it after sitting down at the chair in front of him.

What the hell is happening?

"Don't get me wrong. I love the food here but it's a bit overpriced if you ask me," she says as brings out her lunchbox. "Don't tell Nanaba that though."

"Wouldn't your boss fire you for randomly inviting yourself at a customer's table?"

"Nanaba? We go way back high school. She's the one who's pushing me to take breaks actually."

They sit in silence for awhile after that. Levi watches as she munches on her sandwich while he takes another sip of his coffee. Not knowing what to say, he just turns back to his laptop to type away. Petra, on the other hand, seems like a great conversationalist.

"So... what's your favorite?" She speaks up after having few bites into her dinner.

"Favorite?"

"Song? There's a lot of classics that deserve attention but I'm curious which one caught your attention."

Fuck.

His mind comes up blank until the image of his blonde best friend came to mind. Erwin knows about this old school shit. Not surprising because he's more ancient than Levi is.

What was that song Eyebrows belted out again when they went on that dreaded karaoke night? He recalls Erwin singing something after his cheating long-distance girlfriend finally broke up with him when they were allowed to call their loved ones.

"Mr. Lonely by Bobby Vinton stuck with me." He replies, again without thinking. She laughs out loud the moment the words were out his mouth and Levi frowns in indignation. "Oi, if you're going to laugh at my shitty taste in music then you can get your ass off my table."

"No, no." Petra wipes away a tear from her laughing. "I think it fits your grumpy 'get-off-my-lawn' grandpa vibe. What, someone broke your heart recently?"

"Grumpy grandpa?" Pretty smile and bubbly personality aside, he's starting to think this woman's a bit rude.

- - -

He's still back the next day though.

"Good evening, sir! Will you be having the usual?" Petra greets. He gives her a slight nod before wheeling himself to his spot. He watches as she flurries around during the dinner rush hour, skating from one table to another. She never loses her smile, even when one lady was being a bitch after Petra delivers the wrong milkshake.

Unlike the previous nights where he's content with just sneaking glances at the gorgeous waitress, Levi spends the next few hours gathering the courage to make a move.

Petra stayed in his table until closing time last night and he listened as she babbled on about all their menu offerings and how she likes creating the milkshakes and the coffee the best.

He'd like to think that they're somehow acquainted enough for him to maybe ask her out.

A look a-there, here she comes There comes that girl again Wanted to date her since I don't know when But she don't notice me when I pass

The booming music is only making him nervous, the cheesy lyrics is pissing him off and fuck, he really wants to punch the music player off right now.

Once Petra finally skates over to him though, setting down his usual black coffee and clubhouse sandwich, he takes his chance.

"Are you free tomorrow night?"

"Sir?" She blinks at him and he almost melts as he stares at her huge amber eyes.

"Uhm... you mentioned that you have Fridays off," he starts. "There's this fair that will be opening tomorrow night and I thought you might be into that. First day's the best time to go too while the crowd hasn't shit on the place yet."

The more he hears his words, the more he wants to kick himself with his still working leg.

He notices that a faint blush started to color her cheeks, eyes shifting down before she gives him a shy smile.

"I'd love to go with you, Levi."

- - -

"Wow, you..."

"Were able to hit them all?" He gears up to shoot the last can. "I was in the military."

"No wonder you have that cool scar!"

His eyes darkens a little bit at that, mind taking him back to the career-ending moment that led to where he is now.

Petra seems to notice his reaction. "I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"It's fine. It's been almost a year." He cuts her off. This day's supposed to be fun and he's not allowing his PTSD to take over his chances of charming a girl (which was already low at his current state, he thinks).

"That's amazing, son!" The guy manning the booth approaches him. "Feel free to pick any prize for the lady."

Petra looks down to him for approval, asking if she can pick a prize or if he'd rather pick one since it was him who won after all. He gives her a small smile, gesturing towards the display of prizes.

He watches as Petra buzzes around in excitement, deciding on whether she should get the elephant plushie or this creepy clown plushie that caught her attention for some godforsaken reason. (He pushes her to get the elephant one instead.)

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day When it's cold outside I've got the month of May I guess you'd say What can make me feel this way

"Vanilla is still the best."

"You're boring," she retorts. "How can you only try mint chocolate just once in your life? You get refreshing and sweet dark chocolate at the same time. It's the best combination out there!"

"Yeah, if you like eating your toothpaste," he retorts back.

"Come on, just give it a chance?"

They're settled on a bench right now, his wheelchair parked next to the seat. They take this opportunity to have a conversation while they finish their ice cream.

He learns that she's currently finishing up a nursing degree and that she's working part-time at Kismet Diner to fund her studies. She has an obsession with mint chocolate ice cream, and that she truly loves skating outside of work because she also does roller derby on the weekends (with her boss Nanaba and another girl named Nifa). She's an only child and her dad currently lives in the countryside.

Levi tells her a little bit about himself too and he's glad that she respects his reserved nature. He doesn't tell her about his time in the military, only that he used to be a captain for a few years before he left. He also shared that he used to pursue a degree in Computer Science before dropping out halfway through to join the military. Since he left, his unfinished degree has been useful since he was able to find consistent freelance opportunities as a web developer.

That seems like the perfect job for someone who's anti-social as you, she notes and he gives her an unamused look.

He also finds out that he's actually ten years older than her, and he feels even more like an old man at that moment.

"Hey, I like your grumpy grandpa vibe," she teases him.

"You'd get along with Gabi and Falco."

"Who? Are they your kids?" Her eyes lights up when she takes note of his fond tone before it starts to narrow in suspicion. "You're not married are you?"

"What? Hell no. My hair would probably be gray now if they were." He says. "They're my neighbours. Both... what? 13 I think? They wouldn't stop pestering me since I moved into the complex a few months ago. Those two brats also won't stop calling me grandpa. Do I really look that old?"

"I'd say it's because of the wheelchair but it's actually your scowl that completes the look," she replies with a cheeky smile.

When they're done with their ice cream, Petra rolls him around while he holds on to her big-ass elephant plushie for her. He'd know she's excited about a booth in particular when he feels his wheelchair move faster towards their destination.

Throughout the night, she won them a bag of lollipops once and Petra insists he takes them home to Gabi and Falco. He, on the other hand, was surprised that his military background would be useful for something as useless as carnival games. His fast reflexes and sharp eye bagged them a few more wins, with the last game earning them a free popcorn.

- - -

Before they capped off the night, Petra (the retro lover that she is) led him to a nearby jazz club that she visited once. She insisted that it's on the way home so why not drop by? The atmosphere is more chill than Levi expected so at least he didn't have to listen to another upbeat bubblegum retro track.

"Come dance with me?" She says after a moment of watching the couples on the small dance floor.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm on a wheelchair for a reason."

"We can work around it." Ever the optimist, she leans down to try and help him stand up. "Lean yourself on me. I'll support you throughout."

Levi obliges, placing all of his weight on his working left leg while trusting the rest to Petra. He has his arms around and he tries to start moving with her.

He almost slips as he takes another step and in frustration, he attempts to sit down instead. "It's no use Petra-"

Petra's hold on him tightened. "Just trust me a little more Levi."

He sighs, attempting to stand again. They do find the right balance and rhythm on the second try and Levi breathes out in relief.

Soon, they're swaying to the music and Levi couldn't remember the last time he was upright like this, except for when he has to drag himself around with his crutch in the mornings.

Put your lips next to mine, dear Won't you kiss me once, baby? Just a kiss goodnight, maybe You and I will fall in love

"Petra?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm not really into oldies music."

"I know. I realized that when you only kept mentioning the famous hits."

"Huh."

"I actually cringed when you said you liked Mr. Lonely."

"Shut up." She giggles at that and they finally sway in companionable silence, taking in the slow beat.

When the music stops, Petra reaches up to him, placing a kiss on his cheek. He feels his face warm up, throat bobbing as he stares dumbly at her.

"Thanks for tonight, Levi." - - -

Levi goes back to Kismet Diner the next day, and the day after that. He's there every night and she's always the one who takes and serves his order.

He'd accompany her as she eats her late-night dinner on his table and he sometimes brings her some cookies he baked that morning. Nanaba would throw Petra a smirk here and there whenever she serves his table or when Petra clocks off to have dinner with him.

"Your captain's here," he once heard the taller woman whisper to Petra once the door closes to signal his entrance.

Levi would order the same black coffee and clubhouse combination that Petra eventually offered him to try other things on the menu. "Come on, it's on the house! Why can't you just try other options?"

Love me tender, love me sweet Never let me go You have made my life complete And I love you so

One morning three months into getting to know each other, Levi wakes up feeling contentment wash over him when he smells that she's brewing his usual order from his own apartment kitchen.

Petra enters his room beaming a few minutes later, black coffee and a plate of pancakes in each hand. He distinctly notes that she's playing her retro love songs on loud speaker again and he's long since given up on stopping her.

She leans down to place his breakfast on the side table and she starts peppering kisses from his scarred cheek up to the affected blind eye.

"Good morning Levi!" He wholeheartedly accepts both the breakfast and the kisses, hooking his arm around her waist and cuddling closer to her as he sits up in bed.

He takes her in and finds that he slightly misses the pink uniform and roller skates she dons while she serves him at the diner... but he won't deny that he definitely prefers seeing her draped in nothing but his slightly oversized white shirt instead. "Morning."

🧡🧡🧡🧡 ehehe send fic requests here if you'd like

[timextoxhajima]

Playlist Feels

*SHORT SERIES

Member: pilot juyeon thanks to him saying he wanted to be a pilot i couldn’t let this go

Genre: S M U T. this is going to be a long ride... (don’t say i didn’t warn you)

A/N: i spent TWO hours finding a track for this piece and i’m not gonna lie i’m very tempted to go wild with this one so i’m sorry if you start tearing up because it’s so unlike me to go nuts like this. the time now is 11.30pm, let’s see how long it takes me to produce a piece that makes YOU want to go to church. 

“stay on the ground until your knees hurt”

“another!” you call out boisterously, raising your glass so high and fast into the air that the alcohol found its way over the rims and only your hand. the crowd around you shouted and cheered, and sunwoo got out of his seat to get the attention of a bar girl who he doesn’t resist to rest his hands on.

you watch him whisper something into her ear, his lips just inches away from her skin. she licks her plump lips that you were sure had some kind of filler, dragging her long nail across his jawline and walking away, nodding at his order. 

“sunwoo!” you groggily call out. you were on your third glass of Kamikaze and the vodka was already starting to replace the fluid in your veins. your chest was burning and your fingertips were slowly numbing from the intoxication, and your nose picks up nothing but the scent of sweat mixed with all kinds of alcohol. “you’re supposed to be having fun with me, not flirting with the--” you belch and hyunjun glares at you with a look on disgust on his face. “bar girl.”

you start breaking out into snorts and snickers, hyunjun shaking his head at your ability to completely let loose so quickly. sunwoo returns to the table and downs a shot of vodka like it was water, wincing at the burn in his throat as he turns to you. 

“i am having fun with you, but it’s not going to be long before you get dragged off to some corner and get... i don’t know, pounded by someone!” 

he was sitting right next to you but the deafening club music that was echoing in the corners of your brain forced him to yell at you. you scoff, licking the sweet taste of the lime juice off your lips.

“so what if that happens? i’m never gonna see him again because guess who’s leaving the country tomorrow?!” you throw one arm around him, and the other picks up a shot. 

“i can’t believe you’re fucking ditching us to go to new york,” hyun jun looks up from his phone and raises a cocky brow at you, eyes hooded and a smile loosely hanging on his lips. the man was tipsy and the music was probably getting to him now. 

“aw,” you cough, downing the shot and slamming it down on the table. you pull both boys into you, arms around their necks and your drunken self tries to ruffle both their heads against each other. 

the bar girl that sunwoo was hitting on before comes by, more drinks in hand than you told sunwoo to order. you release sunwoo when the both of you notice the extra drinks, and the bar girl leans into sunwoo’s neck (which was such a cheap trick). 

you could’ve sworn she licked sunwoo’s ear just before she left, and she leaves all the drinks on your table. 

“you’ve got a secret admirer,” sunwoo smirks at you, pulling all the drinks over to your end of the table. “she said someone sent the drinks over for you.”

you raise both brows in pleasant surprise, a drowsy smile spreading across your lips as you instinctively stand up in the booth. eyes scanning the club with shitty-ass lighting flickering every second, heads bobbing up and down and people yelling here and there. 

it takes your doped vision to finally find your secret admirer, and he was standing on the second floor, torso over the railings and looking right down at you. his right foot was perched on the lowest bars and his arms were resting over the uppermost bar, swirling a small glass of whatever he was drinking in his right hand. 

you couldn’t really make out his face from this angle and the horrible, headache-inducing light, so all you do is raise a glass to him. 

“THANKS MAN!”

sunwoo and hyun jun jump at your sudden screeching, watching you down the shot in honour of your secret admirer before plopping yourself between the two of them. 

you let hyunjun and sunwoo reprimand you for taking up the promotion from the production company, but you knew deep down inside they were just sad you were leaving them. the three of you had been friends since you were teenagers and ended up in the same production company, and it was a dream you shared up to that point. 

accepting the promotion meant you were at a crossroad, and they did nothing but support your decision to go. 

‘time’ didn’t exist when you were stuck between your two best friends, in a booth in a club where the floor-shaking music made your hold on reality unreliable, and after enough shots, the alcohol was finally making your bladder full. 

you push past hyunjun, your rear brushing across his lap and you look back over your shoulders and grin at hyunjun as an apology. 

you stumble into the bathroom, the blue led lighting painting the walls a nostalgic blue and the red cubicles were such a terrible combination, your eyes began to glitch with the help of the alcohol in your blood. 

you get your business done, thanking god that you were in sneakers, else you would’ve fell inwards into the toilet bowl itself and probably get stuck there. the mirror presents you with a version of you that don’t really see anywhere. in fact, the only times you were dressed in a sheer top and black bra, pants and sneakers was when you let sunwoo drag you to a nightclub. 

you’re not really a fan of the loud, mind-juicing music most clubs play, much less the crowd. but tonight was an exception, because you had less than 24 hours before you were on a flight halfway across the world to start a new chapter of your life. 

you drink a mouthful of water from the tap in attempt to wash the heat from your chest, but when it fails, you’re not surprised. you turn to leave the washroom, the entrance right opposite the male’s toilet and someone comes out the same second you step out of the female toilet. 

you naturally look up and lock eyes with the man, and the first thing that strikes you were his eyes. they were long, focused, mysterious. 

then you realise that he was your secret admirer.

“oh, you!” the realisation washes through you, the alcohol motivating you to throw your arm around him and ruffle his hair. “thank you for the... good shit.” 

he grabs your wrist and stops you in your actions, pulling away and standing up straight. 

suddenly, his height becomes difficult to ignore, and you momentarily wish that you were in heels to match his eyes. 

he leans in dangerously close to you, the look in his eyes make you feel like you’ve done something wrong and it lights a fire in your stomach. “are you here with your boyfriends?”

you scoff loudly at his question, throwing your head back and hugging your belly, one of your wrists still in his grasp.

“who? sunwoo and hyunjun?” you start to snort and giggle uncontrollably, your free hand whacking him on the chest. “you’re funny.”

he tilts his head to the side but his eyes don’t change. 

“over my dead body, dude,” you wave it off, coming down from your humor. “they’re just my friends.”

he goes quiet for awhile, his grip on your wrist never once faltering. he tugs a little on your skin, trying to get your attention.

there was a heat between the two of you, and you couldn’t smell much besides the alcohol in both your breaths.

“can i have their permission to bring you elsewhere? or are they responsible for sending you home safely?”

you bite on your bottom lip, a smile of uncertainty pulling the corners of your mouth up your cheek. you harshly remove your wrist from his grip and throw both arms around his neck, the action requiring more effort than you calculated due to his height. you pull him down and force him into an unconscious power play, leaning into his ear and giving him a small nip on his ear. 

“you don’t need their permission, stranger. you can do whatever you want with me, i’m a grown woman after all.”

you were meant to scare his bold ass away, knowing that your drunken personality wasn’t one to be dealt with. but not only does he remain calm, he gives you the most menacing smile you’ve ever seen in your life. 

“i’ll take that as an invitation.” 

you rush back to the booth were sunwoo and hyun jun were, searching for your bag and downing a few shots while you were at it. they could tell you were in a rush, and you weren’t entirely sure why you were either. 

even if it was the alcohol that was letting you think this was a great idea, you were leaving. it didn’t hurt to have just one night of fun before you were shipped off to another country to work your ass off. 

“hey, hey, hey! where the hell are you going?!” sunwoo complains loudly, throwing his palm into the air. 

“i’m going on a date with my secret admirer,” you give them a mischievous smile, finishing one last shot before waving to them. “i’ll see you tomorrow at the airport, sweets.”

you lean in towards them and peck them on the crowns of their head, rushing off to look for the mysterious man who wasn’t one bit intimidated by your intoxicated self. 

you give him the address of your residence once you reach his car, because at least if anything were to happen, you know the lift lobby of your apartment building had cameras installed. even if you were murdered, there was no way this guy would go scott-free. 

once you get the door unlocked, he pushes you in, hands tightly gripping on the flesh of your rear while his lips fight yours. 

you drop your bag, feeling your back hit some wall in your apartment and your lipstick begins to smudge on his through the messy kisses. his hands were large, and the intensity of the moment rises when he bites on your lip. the pinch of pain pulls out a gasp, and he shoves his tongue into your mouth. 

he explores your mouth messily, and his hands don’t stop roaming your body. usually, you’d be slightly uncomfortable with letting a stranger into your place and letting him hook up with you like this, but the thought of him asking about your friends was strangely comforting. 

his fingers dig into your curves of your waist and he presses himself against you, sandwiching you between his body and the hard wall against your back. recklessly looking for your hands that were around his neck, he violently pins them against the wall over your head, and his large hands give him the privilege of doing it with only one hand. 

the moans and low groans were the only sounds you could hear, and his hand pulls your sheer blouse from under your jeans. his cold fingertips drag themselves across your stomach and up over your bra, harshly cupping your breast and kneading them. 

you feel yourself slowly beginning to melt under his touch, and you start squirming against his chest and the wall, but your wrists being anchored to the wall rendered your movements useless. 

he pulls away from the kiss, your tongues hanging between your lips as a trail of saliva breaks and it forms a drop on the corner of your mouth. you look up and look at him again under the better lighting, and you can’t help but notice how gorgeously defined his features were. sharp nose, high cheekbones, and good god those eyes. 

you were getting lost in them when he shoves his hand under your bra, your shirt still on you and the material collecting around his wrists. the contact sends you backwards into the wall, and his fingers start to play with your sensitive nub. the pull tightens around your torso, and you feel him attach his lips to your neck once your neck’s been turned away from the sensation of him playing with your nipple. 

you don’t even realise he’s let go of your wrists and your hands were now just gripping onto his hair and shoulders while he multi-tasks you into a mewling, whining mess. there was no space to wonder what he was doing with his other hand, until you realise he’s been undoing your belt and the button around your waist. 

he squeezes his hand under the material of the jeans that were just hugging your rear a few seconds ago, and his entire hand claws around the curves of your ass cheek. 

it was difficult to believe that not one piece of clothing has been removed. 

impatience was starting to fill your mind, and you could feel your core gradually getting wetter and needier, from a guy whose name you don’t even know. 

“let’s get this over with, i’m not really in the mood to play with you,” your voice comes out strained and needy, all the fondling and grabbing was just making you need him even more. 

but his hands don’t move. his fingers under your pants dig further into your skin and starts kneading the fat and flesh of your ass cheek like he was doing to your breast, and his lips finally tear away from your neck, only to reach your ears. 

“but you said i could do whatever i wanted with you.”

a playful smile erupts on your face and you poke the inside of your cheek with your tongue as he pulls away, eyes locking with yours again. 

you pull his arms out from under all your clothes and rest both your palms flat against his shoulders, slowly pushing him backwards and guiding him into your bedroom. 

“i’ll let you do whatever you want with me only if you win.”

you could tell something in him snapped, and you should’ve seen it coming, but you don’t. 

your back hits your closed door with a loud thump, and he repeats his actions from before: pinning your hands above your head. you let him have his fun and suck at the skin on your neck and lips, and your tongues take turn to fight a harsh, sloppy game of dynamics. his free arm shoves its way down your stomach and under your already unbuttoned jeans, finding your sensitive nub in your crotch. 

the pressure throws your attention off the power play between your tongues, and he pushes his wet muscle into your wet cavern. you could feel his arrogance and confidence soar, and it only riled you up even more when you now know he was a worthy opponent. 

he slips a finger under the material of your underwear and shoves a finger into you without warning, the sudden intrusion sending a sharp chill up your back. it rips you away from the kiss and you let out a loud moan that was music to his ears. 

the jeans were getting in the way, so he pushes it off your hips and down your thighs, your underwear following along with there rest of your pants. 

it was amusing to know that your bottoms had come off first instead of your tops, but maybe it was just him trying to tell you that he wasn’t going to go easy on you.

he was so preoccupied with eating your face and fingering you that his grip on your wrists had loosened, and you writhe yourself out of his hold, only to grab his hand that was inside you. you pull him out of yourself and bring it up to your lips, dragging your tongue oh so slowly around the skin of his finger before you wrapped your lips around it like it was a lollipop.

the sight of you tasting yourself brings more lust into his eyes, and you saw it. you smirk, finishing the last of yourself off his finger. he was so stunned, you took the opportunity to shove him backwards onto your bed and climb on top of him. 

“you’ve had your fun, now i’ll have mine.” you whisper into his ear, hands already travelling down to his groin and cupping his manhood. 

the growl that escaped from his throat was so satisfying to hear, and reason for the tightening material around his zipper was just so inviting. 

“aw, you treat me like i’m needy as if you aren’t yourself,” you straddle yourself around his lips as you reach out to a scarf you had strewn on your bed. you shove your lips between his and press your wet core onto his groin, sucking groans out from his chest as you wrap the soft material of your scarf around his wrists. 

he doesn’t notice it until you’ve tightened it with a knot. 

his eyes widen and you happily rile up his shirt to expose his skin. the veins that ran from his hips and under his pants were so inviting, you couldn’t resist but to attach your lips to the space around his pelvis while undoing his belt. 

you could hear him struggle to sit up, especially with his hands tied together, but you knew he couldn’t, not while you were busy leaving butterfly kisses all over his abs. 

his pelvis bucks upwards and his chin tilts towards the ceiling, your fingers undoing the button and zipper painfully slowly while you watch him writhe in lustful need. 

you leave his pants on, only exposing his tentage to yourself. the bulge was impressive, but you don’t expect any less, not when you’ve been playing with him like this. 

you lean your face close to his groin, your heavy breath landing on him through his boxers. your fingers play with the rim of his boxers, dragging only the fingertip between his skin and the material while you leave kisses on his pelvic bone. 

you hear a low growl from him, and veins start appearing on his neck as he grits his teeth in agony. 

you abruptly yank his boxers low enough for his length to spring out, and your eyes catch sight of the precum on the tip, already dripping down the sides of his swollen shaft.

you lower your head so your eyes were leveled with his as he lifts his head to look at you, his length just inches away from your lips. 

you make sure he was watching before you press your tongue flat onto his red tip, and an inhumane sound rumbles through him. you hear him curse and you suck only on the tip, your hands pressing against his thighs to prevent yourself from taking more of him into your mouth.

you pull him out, dragging your lips along the bare minimum surface of his skin, a mixture of your saliva and his precum sliding down the little veins that were emerging on the walls of his length. you crawl up back to him, pressing your face into his and kissing him so he could taste himself. 

he starts another power game with your tongue, his neck slowly leaving your bed as you feel the tip of him tap against your inner thighs. your hands were pressed to his chest were his shirt was still riled up to his collar bones, and you remember your shirt and bra were still on. 

you were so focused on winning the game between your lips that the sudden grip on your waist throws you completely off guard. your eyes widen and you immediately break the kiss, only to realise you had already been flipped over onto your knees, face buried in the mattress. he tosses the scarf right next to your face, and smile pulls your lips apart. 

you try to lift your torso off the cushion, but he finds your wrists and holds them down into your lower back, pushing you further into the cotton of your bed. you let out a strained laugh, knowing that you’ve driven him so far over the edge that you’ve lost a game you usually won. 

“i guess someone doesn’t like to lose,” you laugh into the air around you, listening to the sound of a belt hitting your floor. you were still mildly amused with your torso being fully clothes, but there was something about that that differentiated him from other guys you’ve hooked up with. 

this man didn’t have the greed you were familiar with. 

“i’m fine with losing,” he leans forward and announces into your ear. “but i couldn’t pass up on hearing you beg.”

you huff with pleasant surprise as he peels himself away from your back. 

he pushes into you without warning, and you let out the tightest, most strained moan you’ve ever heard yourself make. he doesn’t give you time to adjust, immediately ramming himself into you like there was no tomorrow. 

the impact was slamming your left cheek into the mattress, and saliva had begun escaping out from the corner of your lips that were ajar. 

there was a smile on your face, and with every thrust you let out a mixture of laughs and moans. you feel the flesh on your rear being squeezed like fruit, and you could feel him going deeper and deeper with every subsequent thrust. 

you feel a knot start to form in your stomach, and the laughter slowly turned into low groans and curses as you struggle to look behind you. 

he glares at you through his sweaty fringe, and almost like he could read your face and the lewd noises you were making, he stops and pulls out. 

“what the fuck--” you hiss angrily into the bed. your thighs were shivering from the rampant fucking, and you were physically worn out to some extent. the knot in your core had disappeared, but you’ve never felt so dissatisfied in your life. 

you hear him give a low chuckle, his arms sliding under you and flipping you around again so you were on your back this time. he wraps his lengthy fingers around your ankles and yanks you to the edge of the bed. you struggle a little, wanting to kick him in the face, but the strength he was investing into holding your ankles makes you look like a fragile little nothing. 

he wraps your legs around his waist and leans forward, pressing his palms flat into the cotton around your head, eyes digging into yours. 

you were pissed that he didn’t let you come, but then you remind yourself that he’s not like anybody you’ve ever slept with. your top and bra were still on, and though he looks like he could snap any moment, he’s got perfect control over what he wanted to do. 

he drags a finger down your cheek and traces along your jaw and chin, brushing your lower lip as he closes the gap between your faces.

“i want to hear you beg, love.” 

your eyes were so dangerously near his, and the close proximity surprisingly makes you a little anxious. 

you contemplate for a moment, wondering just how much he was willing to do just to get what he wanted. so, you held back your need to reach your climax and invite him to test his limits. 

“make me.”

he smirks at you, eyes filling with nothing but lust as he abruptly slams into you. your head gets thrown back, and your fingers grip onto the blanket and bed sheet tightly as he starts mindlessly fucking you again. he finally pushes your sheer top up to your neck and literally tears your bra off.

the combination of his tongue playing with one nipple, one hand kneading your other breast and the consistent, violent slams he was making into you was sending you into a place you’ve never been before. 

your mind starts to flash white as the knot returns to your stomach. curses start to leave your lips again and you could almost immediately feel him slow down. your mind says ‘hold it together’ but your body has admitted defeat to his control over himself.

“fuck, don’t stop.”

but it’s almost like he didn’t hear you. 

the thrusts slow down and the magic spot he was hitting inside you was slowly seeping away. 

tears were gathering in the corners of your eyes by the time the knowledge of what he wanted sinks in. 

“oh-- for fucks’ sake, please don’t stop!” 

he pulls away from your breast and starts sucking on your bottom lip, his pace picking up again and now that he was nearly pressed fully against you, every thrust felt deeper than before, if it was even possible. all the moans and mewls you were letting out were getting lost in his mouth.

his thumb finds your sensitive spot above the spot where the two of you were joined, and the pressure sends you into a frenzy you haven’t felt in a long time.

the knot returns for the third time tonight, and he releases your lips to suck on your neck. when the curses start to run off your tongue, the pleads begin pouring out as well. you could feel him smile into your neck as his thrusts get harder and faster; something you didn’t think he was capable of.

the violent fucking was starting to make you see stars, and he just finds the sweet spot on your neck, his thumb still rubbing circles on your core. 

the knot in your abdomen turns into a glass rod, and with one final, sharp thrust, the glass rod shatters and sends periodic spams throughout your entire body. 

the moaning mess you’ve become doesn’t stop him from halting his movements. he lets you ride out your climax while he tries to chase his, and he pulls out to unload himself on your thighs. 

the inappropriate noises were replaced with pants and huffs, and you felt so limp in your own bed, you couldn’t even begin to process the fact that you lost. 

he finds the tissue box in the corner of your room and cleans himself off your skin and off the tip of his slightly flaccid length, turning sideways to present you the veins that ran from his arms to his hands. every muscle on him was so pumped from the session that you couldn’t help but hate yourself for feasting your eyes on him. 

he catches you watching him and raises a smug brow, crushing the tissue in his hand as he smirks at you. 

“see?” he reaches down and picks up his shirt, pulling it over his head the way only hot guys did. “begging wasn’t so hard.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2: Do It For Me

A/N: brb i gotta drink a whole fucking tank of holy water--

[florencewritez]

Euphoric

AN: have a good day <3

WC: 6431  words

WARNINGS: consumption of alcohol, cursing "Mia, babe I genuinely don't know what I'd do without you," I told her as she carefully applied another white dot above my eyebrow to the row she'd already done. Mia only smiled, squeezing my cheeks a little more and telling me to keep my eyes closed or she'd poke them out. Begrudgingly, I did as she asked, tearing my eyes away from the stunning red look she'd given herself earlier. When the Glastonbury Festival started approaching quicker and quicker and me and Mia still had nothing planned, it had been Will who suggested who went as a pair. Angel and devil. Of course, we had to jump on the idea, we'd never pass that photo opportunity. That had been around four weeks ago. Now, it was only around an hour before our group would leave for Glastonbury and I finally felt the festival excitement bubbling in my stomach. Clearly, it bubbled out too, making me squirm a little, as Mia scolded me for moving and again repeated her empty threat of poking my eye. I only giggled. Mia was the least likely person to poke someone's eyes out, let alone mine. She knew it too because when I peeked my eye open, I saw her soft smile, eyes crinkling and making a single star she'd stuck on fall off. By the time we arrived, I was sure they'd all be gone."All done! You can look now."

"Finally." She playfully smacked my arm and handed me a hand mirror. The girl looking back at me felt like a different person. Roségold shimmery eyelids with a small line of white streaking through the glitter. Pretty highlight covering my cheeks and nose, like I'd captured the very essence of a rainbow on my face, complete with two white strokes at the top of my nose. And to top it all off, the white dots above my eyebrow, complete with little jewels in between each dot. Somehow, I actually did feel angelic, more than I had when I'd actually put the wings on that were supposed to be the trademark angel piece. Mia truly had worked wonders. "I can't believe this is really me, you're makeup skills are underrated," she snorted and sat down beside me, tilting the mirror to check her hair, hand tucking a spare curl behind her ear, lips turning up into a smile. "It's payback for styling my hair, don't undersell yourself either y/n." Will's voice echoed down the hall, telling us we were leaving to catch the bus soon and I smiled at the dark-haired girl beside me. I could already feel the music pounding through my veins, the adrenaline pumping through me after the fairground. I'd been attending festivals with Will and our friends since we'd moved to London together, having grown up together as neighbours and decided to pursue YouTube together. Some of my best memories in recent years were spent in a random field usually used for dairy farming, screaming lyrics to a song I didn't know I knew, clinging to someone's wrists as we jumped up and down to the beat. The inevitable headaches were always worth the feel of the moment, not to mention the pictures dotting my wall of the before and after that always made me smile when I woke up. George, Will, Becky, James, Aria, even a few random strangers always greeted me, either pissed out of their mind or suffering a severe hangover. However, whilst Mia's face did make an appearance in several non-festival pictures on my wall, this would be the first time we attended a festival together. She'd only started dating Will a little over a year ago and at the time, she hadn't quite been welcomed to the group enough to join us for festival season. Now though, after nights spent together with our group at clubs or nights out and a lot of sleepovers with just me, her and Aria, it'd be a sin to not bring her. I turned to face her, excitement flashing in my eyes and took her hand in mine. Mia smiled back at me, squeezing my hand. "I can't believe this is the first festival we'll spend together Mia, it feels long overdue." "The first of many right?" I saw a flicker of anxiety pass through her eyes and knew she sometimes felt she didn't fit in our group, even now. I understood where she was coming from, it was always hard to find your footing in such a tight-knit group of people who'd known each other for ages, but truly, everyone loved her just as much as the others. Especially me. "Of course. You're one of us now." She wrapped her arms around my shoulders in a short tight squeeze, our perfumes mixing together for just a second. It was a sweet moment, my best friend hugging me close, but I couldn't help but tease her. After all, it was Will she was dating. "Though if I have to watch you and Will make out I will puke, that's too much for me. May I remind you I knew him when he was a square little lad in a diaper." Mia rolled her eyes, pulling me to my feet. I was reminded of the silver heels I was wearing on then when I stumbled forwards, grateful for her being there to make sure she caught me. "Oh please, it's not me and Will anyone is worried about. Can we talk about you and Alex?" She winked. I flushed pink, (which probably looked rotten combined with the highlight) and Mia grinned, her tongue peeking through the gap in her teeth. Alex. At first, when Will started blowing up, dragging me along from almost being featured in his videos, he started making a lot of new friends that I had never met before for the first time in our lives. Before that, we'd always had the same friend group, even through the awkward high school years where friend groups were extremely messy. One day, he'd managed to drag me to a bar with his new friends, despite my complaining, and that's where I'd met Alex. Or rather, where we met each other. Stupid swooped hair with eyes that rewrote my definition of blue eyes the very first time my eyes met his. It had been Alex who managed to integrate me into Wills new group and Alex who remained the closest person in our group to me even to this day. Alex who, along with George, my favourite mask-wearing bloke, I moved in with once Wills place got a bit cramped. And of course, Alex who all my friends liked to tease me about dating. Of course, they did the same to him, probably worse considering the boys were usually a bit dirtier mouthed with each than with the girls, but I was the only one who turned red all the time. Probably because they were right mostly. When Mia prodded about the way I looked at him, my efforts to say there was nothing to prod at were all lies. When James would wink at me when Alex would pull me in closer on nights out, always downing whatever drink was in front of him before I could glare. When Will sat me down one day, patting my knee, and asked if I liked him, he saw past my eye rolls and dramatic head shakes. Most of all it was George who brought it up, always finding a way to shove at least five comments a day about our relationship and giving me the look when I'd mumble a comment back. Because yes, of course, I liked him. I had a stupid school girl crush at the same age I got blackout drunk and could legally do drugs in some countries. Alex was the nicest person I'd ever met, always treating me with such kindness and respect. Some nights I'd pass out by my desk when editing, exhausted from the hectic schedule I forced myself to follow. When I'd wake up, my video editing would be finished and there'd be a sticky note by my head, something that would make my heart beat a little faster, with his signature and a small heart. Not to mention the blanket thrown over my shoulders that smelled faintly of him. That was just one of the many things Alex did for me regularly without ever asking for anything. Yet, something deep inside me screamed to not do anything about it, screamed it was purely platonic on his side. Alex would constantly chatter about what a great friend I was, how much he loved me as a friend. For some reason, him friend-zoning me accidentally hurt a lot more than if he hated me. At least then there was a chance he'd see me as something more than a best friend, even if it was a mortal enemy. Mia cleared her throat and I snapped back to reality, laughing awkwardly. "There's nothing to talk about Mia. We're just friends." If Will hadn't called again, I would have been in for a lot of questions and yet another speech begging me to just tell him. Instead, she just sighed and rugged on my arm. "We'd best be going before his head explodes." "That'd be a sight to see. He doesn't deal well with stress you know," I told her, walking out of my room with our arms interlocked. "Did you know during our GCSEs, I found him out my back in the wet dirt, mumbling algebraic formulas?" "Ay, y/n are you telling that bloody GSCE story again?" Will called, peeking his head out from around the corner. His festival sunglasses were perched in his hair and I couldn't help but giggle.  "I'm sorry Will, it's just so fucking hilarious." "To be fair Will," Mia said, holding back a laugh, "it's pretty funny." Neither of us could hold back our laughter and finally cracked when his glasses slid down his face. Will groaned and told the boys waiting on the couch behind him we were bullying him again. I heard James say he probably deserved it, followed by Georges laughter and Alex's giggle. "Are they ready yet?" Aria called, having arrived with James already ready way before me or Mia had even started. Mia let go of my arm and walked ahead to the living room, posing at the doorway. Aria gasped and said she'd looked gorgeous and Will said the same, snaking a hand around her waist. Gross. Still, no matter how gross I called Mia and Will sometimes or how much I insisted nothing was going on between me and Alex, it didn't stop me from smiling like an idiot when he stopped giggling, calling me pretty. Schoolgirl crush. That was all that was. We'd finally piled onto the coach awhile after before pictures already filling my camera roll and only two videos on my Instagram story. One of me recording when Mia was doing my makeup and the other just our group leaving me, George and Alex's apartment to get the coach simply titled 'it begins'. Once on the coach I came to the startling revelation everyone expected me to sit with Alex, the couples all pairing up and Becky insisting she absolutely had to sit with George. My eyes stared out the window, surprising heavy despite not doing anything yet. "You alright?" Alex asked, poking me in the ribs as the coach finally started, several cheers erupting around us. I couldn't help but smile back, nodding my head. His eyes didn't stop looking worried so I opened my mouth. "I'm fine, don't worry Al. I'm just tired for some reason." "To be fair, you and Mia were up half the night talking about today. I warned you to sleep you know, don't blame me." I giggled remembering how he'd come into my room several times to warn me and Mia to get some sleep. Back then we'd only waved him off, saying we were having girl talk. Now, I wished I'd listened as a yawn escaped my throat. "See?" "Fine, you win. I should have slept earlier last night. I'll be fine when we get there, the pure adrenaline will be enough to keep me up for the entire festival." He didn't look convinced. "It takes around an hour and a half to get there you know." "I'm aware." "Go to sleep, I'll wake you when we arrive. Promise." At first, I was going to deny and say I'd be fine, ask his opinion on the latest Star Wars movie so I could listen to him ramble again. However, as another yawn escaped me, I smiled and nodded, telling him he'd better wake me up when we arrived. "Of course I will, I need someone to go on rides with me. We both know the others are pussies." I smiled, eyes closing without me telling them to. "Of course they are. We're the only brave ones on this bus. We'll ride all night." Alex raised his eyebrow but I was too tired to care, leaning my head on the bus window. The loud rattling actually helped ease me into sleep and the last thing I remembered before waking up was hearing a snippet of James and Arias conversation behind me, laughing about some joke I didn't understand. Gross couples. "N/n, mate, everyone else is waiting outside. Can you please wake up." It was dark for a bit, my dream ending before it really begun because of Alex's voice cutting through the cloudy landscape I'd arrived in. Whatever I was lying on was warm and I nuzzled in more, sleepily asking for five more minutes. Alex chuckled and poked my cheek. "We've arrived you know. The first festival of the year? The one you're usually most excited for?" I had no idea what he was talking about till the wings I had on ached against my back. Shit. The fucking festival. I jumped up quickly, too excited to be embarrassed about the fact I'd somehow ended up sleeping on Alex's instead of the window and smiled. "Everyone else is outside yeah? Do I look okay?" It was then I noticed the pink on Alex's shoulder, sticking out a lot against the light blue denim. Crap, my lipgloss. I opened my fanny pack, white to match my outfit of course, and searched for that stupid tube of lipgloss I'd brought to retouch it later. Of course, I hadn't planned to wipe it off completely on my friends' fucking jacket before I even got off the bloody coach but hey, at least I was prepared. Finally, I found the blasted thing, under my purse, phone, portable and a small bottle of vodka, of course at the very bottom and pulled it out, holding it like a sacred Egyptian jewel.Then there was another problem. "Crap, I didn't bring a mirror. How am I supposed to apply it now? Wheres my blasted phone?" Again, I started to scramble through my bag. Alex gently grabbed my wrist, stopping me from shoving my hand around. "I can do it for you, it can't be that hard. I've watched you do it to yourself like a million times."I paused. For some reason, that sounded like the worst best idea ever. I sucked my teeth for a moment before nodding. "Go on then, it's a challenge." I tossed the tube onto his lap and turned my face towards him, urging him to do something before I did. He unscrewed the tube, a focus in his eyes I'd only ever seen when he was working a video before and then gently placed his hand on my cheek, leaning in. I parted my lips as he carefully did his best to apply an even layer of sheer pink, so close I could feel his breath on my face. I gulped, moving closer to him subconsciously, hand gripping his thigh. "I think I'm done," he whispered, pulling the lipgloss down but still not moving back. In fact, I felt his hand tighten into my hair, tugging it slightly. My eyes darted from his eyes to his lips. "Thanks," my voice was barely a whisper, more of a gasp honestly, and still neither of us leaned back. I wondered if his eyelashes were always this dark or he'd changed overnight. "Oi lads, I'm going to have to start driving to pick up the 2 o clocks now. Are you okay back there?" The bus driver suddenly called, peeking his head out of his seating area. I snapped back into my seat, zipping my bag closed as Alex cleared his throat, standing up. He told the bus driver we were fine, that I'd lost a contact and then we scrambled off the bus, pulling oh hands back at even the slightest contact. The moment my feet touched the grass, I was swooped away by Mia and Aria, both smirking at me, eyes wide. "What?" I asked, my voice a lot more bashful than I meant it to. "What was that?" Aria asked, Mia nodding behind her. Arias's hand was resting on my shoulder, Mia grasping at Arias in a small human centipede. "What was what?" Completely inconspicuous, they'll never know. "Dude, James told us he'd seen you and Alex nearly kiss Alex on the bus," my eyes widened and I was quick to ask how he'd possibly seen that, bus windows weren't the easiest to see through. "He went back on to tell you and Alex to hurry up and instead found you knee-deep in a shift session," Mia exclaimed, a giggle in her tone. "Nothing happened. I just asked him to put my lipgloss on because I didn't bring my mirror." Both of them raised their eyebrows and slowly nodded. "Nothing happened," I repeated slower, making sure to make eye contact with both of them. They seemed to let it go, at least for now, and Becky's voice cut through the air and her arms were thrown over Aria and Mia's shoulders. I laughed at their surprised faces smiling at Becky who already seemed to have cracked up the drink she'd brought in her fanny pack. "Come on girls, let's go in before the boys yeah? The real show doesn't start till tomorrow when performers come so I say first stop the pier yeah? I want some candy floss." Becky looked at me, hoping I'd take her side so she'd get her damn candy floss and I complied, laughing and throwing my head back as I threw my arm over Mia's other side. "I'm down for some 1pm candy floss. Feel like we're going to have a lot of that this weekend ay?" Becky whooped again as Mia and Aria agreed and we all started to walk towards the entrance, Mia yelling for the boys to hurry up and follow before they got lost. Still, even as I laughed at another joke Becky told, posing for a video Mia was taking as we entered, I couldn't help but let my mind linger to that bus seat, to my wet lips of floss, to crystal blue eyes, to what could have happened. I tossed my head over my shoulder, hoping to see Will or George or James or even the fucking busman to distract myself but of course, instead, I met the same stupid blue eyes. He stopped talking and looked at me, I took a deep breath and then James nudged his side and Mia squeezed my ribs and the moment was over. God, this stupid tension had to arrive now, didn't it? Couldn't have waited till after festival season? Still, nothing a bit of alcohol couldn't help drown out, right? Right? "Are we going to go on the rides today lads or are we waiting for that madness till tomorrow?" George yelled over music playing, the night being relatively old at that point. Aria and James said they were heading to their tent now so they'd pass for now, as did Mia and Will after Mia persisted a little. Becky tucked her arm into mine and asked if I wanted to go to our tent yet since we were sharing and I thought it over, biting my cheek. The air still smelled like candy floss, as did Becky's breath and probably mine, though there was a slight sting that I put down to the few shots I'd downed so far, not enough to be pissed just yet. That was for Saturday night. I thought it over for another second before shaking my head, pulling back for Becky's grasp. "Actually Beck, you go ahead. I'm going to stay back with Alex," I turned and gave him a small smile, finally meeting his eyes for the first time since the incident and he smiled back. "He owes me a few hundred rides to live up to his earlier words, right Al?" "That's right. You can go back too if you want George, you keep yawning on me." "Yeah, I think I'll pass on watching whatever the fuck that's going to be you're right, I'll make sure Becky gets back to her tent fine. I'll wait with her till you decide what you're doing yeah?" I didn't ponder on what George meant and only let out a whoop, promising Becky I'd get back fine. She smiled, her nose scrunching and she pressed a kiss to my cheek before nodding at George to go. I watched her go with him, a few close encounters with people already puking on the ground from a really bad-or good-night depending on your perspective. I jumped when I felt someone take my hand until I realized it was Alex, his voice close to my ear, making me shrink away. "So Will and that are already boning huh? Think they could have waited till tomorrow to settle in at least." I snorted and pushed him away, gagging at that thought. "Jesus Alex please refrain from giving me that image. Will is still twelve years old to me. Not to mention little Aria with my man James." "Your man James? I'm offended I thought I was your man." There he goes again, that stupid your man joke. Still, it did make me smile genuinely, even if I rolled my eyes to hide how my face was so bright. I took his hand and let it rest over my shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to it as we walked towards the flashiest ride. "Of course you're my man. My favourite man. But you currently aren't riding anything so I think you're a man backing out of his promise," I carefully evaded a man pissing, his poor girlfriend looking disgusted beside him, still keeping my eyes on Alex beside me. "Then let me prove it to you, three rides on this bastard. Unless you're too scared?" I chuckled, stopping to take his other hand and lean up, glaring me eyes threateningly. "Alex Elmslie, you're fucking on. The first to chicken out this weekend has to do what the other says." He thought about it for a moment before nodding, returning the glared eyes. "Okay, then y/n l/n. First challenge is this. Oh, and by the way, I'm not going to lose." Oh, it was definitely on. The last day arrived quicker than anyone wanted to and before I knew it, my suitcase was packed again, ready for the coach that would pick us up tomorrow. Still, there was one more night to enjoy and especially one last performance. Becky put her phone down, sighing as she tucked her hair behind her ear again. "Babe, we have to go soon. Billies performance will definitely be packed and I don't know about you, but I want to be as close as possible." I smile back, finally satisfied with my last day look. A simple soft pink makeup look complete with a light pink dress and flats. Flats made it a lot easier to hop around. "I'm ready Beck, just waiting for the others to show up at this point. You definitely told James and Aria to meet us here right?" Becky nodded, checking her phone again but her eyes rolling at the lack of new messages. I considered just going to save a spot for our group with just Becky until there was a yell outside asking if they could come in. A few moments later, James Marriotts face peeked through the now unzipped hole of our tent, a smile on his face. After another second, Arias's face appeared on top, face covered in pretty blue glitter. "You ready to be going then? Mia will kill me if we don't get a good spot." James tilted his head, a serious tone to his not really a joke-joke. "Oh I know," I edged towards the tent door, smiling. "She's been raving about this performance for weeks now. If she doesn't get to see more than a bean from a distance, she'll have all of our heads." Aria laughed and they both stood back, letting me step into the warm air. Ah, England's summers, surprisingly warm most of the time for such a known shit weather country. "Alex wouldn't shut up about it last night either to be fair though I suspect at least half of that was due to the drink." Becky followed me out and shared a glance with the couple. Aria licked her lips and looked away. Becky seemed to stifle a laugh, disguising it as a slight cough. I narrowed my eyes at James, hoping he'd crack and eventually he did, sighing. "Y/n, we were wondering if that stupid competition thing was still going on." I raised my eyebrows, falling into step with the trio as we headed for the stage she was performing at in an hour. "Yeah, we decided to keep it going till the festival was over. Why, would you like to join?" I teased, receiving unimpressed grunts from the whole group. Aria piped up next, seeming to take a long time in what she said next. For some reason, I felt like I wasn't going to like what she had to say. "It just feels like it's delaying the inevitable or something, that's all." "What's the inevitable?" "You and Alex getting married and having six children, three dogs and a cat." Becky chirped up, giggling. Aria and James laughed along with her. I could tell that I'd turned red and unfortunately, no makeup could cover that mess, which made everyone laugh a little harder. "I don't like Alex, we're just friends." "N/n, we were all there that night last year. Plus, there's behind such a weird vibe with you two lately, not to mention the way you look at each other all the time. Like bloody puppies or something." Aria tells me and this time, my face pales. That night a few months ago. It had been just another late night out at the club, some music playing in the distance as we all had a chat and chugging back as much as we could consume without dying. I decided to be brave and asked Alex to dance, tugging him to the floor before he could refuse. At first, we'd just been messing, twirling and more so stumbling around the place, clinging to each other for support as the world seemed to spin. It'd been just as I fell forwards the DJ announced they were starting romance hour, the music switching from stupid random beats to the soft vocals of Billie Eilish, singing about ocean eyes and falling from a height. Neither of us moved, my arms remaining wrapped around his neck as they had to stop me from falling, Alex's softly placed on my waist. "I like this song," I told him, leaning up to his ear on my tippy toes so he could hear me. "Me too, Billie's proper class." I snorted, falling back onto my heels. "It reminds me of you actually, this song," Alex tilted his head, pulling me in a little closer. "Because your eyes are blue are so pretty. You know, the first time we met the first thing I noticed was how pretty they were, even before I thought anything about how soft your hair looked. Will had to nudge me back to reality. Felt like everything just suddenly made sense." My words were slurred, heavily influenced by tequila and the heaviness starting to fall over my eyes. Still, I felt his lips press against mine, felt how it was better than any drink or drug. Perfectly moulded together, as though it was meant to be. I pulled him closer, fingers curling into his hair and he gripped desperately at my dress, his fingers able to be felt through the stupid fabric.When we'd pulled back, the song changed and I suggested we headed back to our friends, didn't look him in the eye. He agreed and we never spoke of it again. I had assumed our friends hadn't seen, that we'd been swallowed into the crowd as just another couple making out to a song. The look on my friends face at that moment told me otherwise."I just thought none of yous had seen that," I stammered, eyes looking to the ground so I didn't have to meet their eyes. "Of course we did, you were only a few feet away. Honestly, after that, we'd all just assumed you were dating in secret until this challenge thing." James explained, pointing to the girls to back him up. Both of them nodded, Aria looking slightly guilty and Becky just grinning.Great, everyone thought I was shagging my stupid crush. "Well we aren't, that was just a drunk mistake. Me and Alex are just friends, I promise." None of them looked convinced and I decided to pretend nothing had happened, saying we should hurry before all the good spots were taken. They didn't mention how I'd just moved on and agreed, breaking into a conversation about how excited they were instead. Even though I joined in, laughing when James told a joke or agreeing with Becky when she'd waffle, nothing could erase the strange feeling in my stomach. I couldn't quite decipher what it was, nervousness, guilt for lying about not liking Alex maybe, perhaps just pure excitement from seeing Billie. Whatever it was, it settled deep in my stomach and didn't go away, even as the others joined us at the spot we'd found. In fact, it only worsened when Alex landed beside me, whispering that the next challenge was to sing louder than the other, his hand resting ever so slightly on my shoulder. This would be a long night. My throat ached, begging for the relief I refused to give it as my voice croaked out the lyrics to bellyache like I'd be shot if I didn't. Alex gripped tightly at my wrists, both of us jumping up and down like idiots. I could hear Mia behind me, most likely on Will's shoulder and somewhere in front of me, George was laughing at Becky and James' awful slightly drunk dance moves, Aria most definitely recording to laugh at when they had sobered up. The rest of the world didn't matter at that moment and I pulled my wrists away from Alex's wrist to hold his face, laughing at his expression when I squeezed it. The song came to an end, turning into only loud cheering and instrumental as I croaked out that he looked extremely stupid. He pouted more and I laughed more, a slight snort coming out. The vibe of the audience changed when Billie sat down, announcing she'd be singing an oldie. Everyone got even more excited and couples linked together like magnets, arms around necks and eyes on eyes. I rolled my eyes at the gross displays of affection, letting my hands drop to rest on his shoulders. The first chord of the song played and I felt both of our bodies freeze, my throat becoming suddenly sore. Oh. It was that song. Of course, it was. Everyone else was too occupied to notice how we both stopped singing, how I opened and closed my mouth a few times before deciding to keep it shut. Except, of course, Alex and his stupidly perfect blue eyes, squarely focused on my own. "Al, we need to talk." No, we didn't, why did I say that. Shut up. "Okay." Great, no going back now. That'd make it worse. I cleared my throat. "You don't remember this but I can't pretend it didn't happen anymore. There was one night awhile ago, we were both very drunk. We had a moment and kissed. Everyone actually thought we were dating for ages." "Wait you remember that?" I nodded, swallowing harshly. If anyone had asked why my throat was suddenly dry and closing in, I'd have blamed hayfever. That would have been a lie. "N/n, I've been waiting for you to talk about it for ages. I thought you'd forgotten." My heart stopped, mind still doing cartwheels to try process the pure idiocy that was currently radiating off of both of us. Billie hit the chorus at the same time Alex leaned down ever so slightly, lips just grazing against mine for a moment as if testing the waters. I didn't hesitate to press my lips back against his, more full of emotion and present, saying everything my lack of worlds could never. I could hear the crowd cheering and clapping, the song ending, our friends whooping, but all I focused on was my heartbeat pounding out of my chest, his heartbeat against mine. When I finally pulled back, my eyes remaining closed for an extra beat to process what just happened, I saw him smile. Some people liked to say blue eyes were overrated and I used to find myself agreeing with them. Why so many love songs about boring old blue eyes, the most common eye colour, and not the mysterious browns and mesmerizing green? But at that moment, I understood. It felt like I'd seen him again for the first time but also met eyes with someone I'd known forever at the same time. A mixture of nostalgic warmth and crazed excitement wrapped into a crystalline package. Ocean eyes. And I understood. Mia threw her arm around my neck and yelled that this was our song, swinging me around. I chuckled, pulling her in closer by the waist and allowing her to tug me away. Alex didn't mind, turning around to talk, or rather shout, at Will, cheeks slightly tinted and a certain buzz in the way he laughed that wasn't there ever before. Pretty. "So," he said, arm around my shoulder and Ferris wheel slowly reaching the top. "What do you think about telling our friends we actually are dating this time?" I shrugged, nuzzling closer to the soft fabric of the hoodie he'd thrown on, probably leaving flecks of glitter that would never go away. He wouldn't care. He never cared about stuff like that. In fact, I think he had the right face for makeup. Maybe he'd let me do his makeup if I asked for a video, a festival look and q+a wrapped into one. The smell of cotton candy wafted up from above and somewhere below, I could just about hear Becky screaming on some ride. "They can figure it out themselves. Probably already have knowing our friends. Same with the fans honestly. Alex didn't answer, rubbing circles on my arm with his thumb instead. My body let out a shaky happy sigh. "Look, we're at the top now. Stopped for just a moment too." I peeked one eye open and smiled at the pretty sight before us, the lights of the rides mixing with phone flashlights and distant concert stages, smells of food stands, drink, weed, the sound of faint music, screams, laughter, happy yelling. Of course, the prettiest sight to me was the shimmering stars high above us, our interlocked hands resting on his chest. As I heard Becky let out another shriek, I was reminded of something from earlier that weekend and smile cheekily, sitting up to properly look at my boyfriend. God that felt to think without it being imaginary. "You know, technically you stopped singing before me which means you lost our game." "That sounds fair to me. So, whats my challenge then?" I pretended to think, finger tapping my chin as if I didn't already know exactly what I was going to say. "You have to be the one to tell Becky shes staying with George tonight because you're staying with me." He raised his eyebrow and turned a bright shade of red. I only smiled wider. "You lost the game, Al, those were the rules." "I haven't lost anything actually, I'd say I won a lot today," he held our interlocked hands up. And, if I wasn't so very in love with him, I would have puked. Because I was, I just rolled my eyes and made him promise to not back out. He insisted he wouldn't and walked straight over to Becky the second we were off the ride. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just a bit more embarrassed than him suddenly when Becky gasped and grabbed my arm, giving it a slight shake and congratulating me on moving from big fat crush to a big fat relationship. The next Sunday, new pictures dotted my bedroom wall and my Instagram feed. There was a few that overlapped, a group shot by the pier, picture of me and the girls all on a ride, Becky laughing so hard alcohol shot out of her nose, me and Will recreating the same photo we did every year, but most were only on my wall. Me and George taking a shot at the same time, arms interlocked, James watching on with pride. Aria and a random stranger who happened to be wearing the same shoe hugging. Me and Mia in our outfits, laughing so hard we cried or spilling drinks on ourselves. A lot of Will and me simply existing together, whether it be dancing or screaming on a ride. Strangers I found interesting. But most were of Alex. A shot someone snapped when we were on the Ferris wheel. Selfies from just about every location at the festival. And of course, my personal favourite, the one James took on the bus on our way home, when this time when he applied my lipstick, I immediately ruined it with a kiss that told our friends everything they needed to know. When I sat down by the edge of my bed to admire my handiwork, years of photos mixing and telling a story, Alex grunted slightly and woke up from his sleep. He sleepily asked if I'd like to make brownies in a bit before pressing a kiss to my cheek, resting his head on my shoulder. His shampoo filled my nose and the soft material of his jumper pressed against my skin. God, I was ever so glad I understood why there were so many songs about blue eyes.

[sometimes-i-write-4-you]

Beatrice to my Benedick - Steven Hyde x reader

Dear diary,

Being the best student in literature has it's perks, like getting paired with the worst student for the big end-of-the-year project. Steven Hyde took this class because he thought it was an easy A, but he was wrong. The only A he got in that class was A headache.

Why would it be a perk to get paired with him, you may wonder? Well, I liked Steven for a while now. We barley exchange words, but if there was a looks class, that's his easy A.  his attitude needs a bit of work, but his cynical comments make the class better, and the way he threw in every irrelevant fact possible to piss off Mr. D was… I don't even know how to explain, attractive? I adore the fact he gives zero fucks about who gives a fuck. And now I have a chance to get to know him as more than the troublemaker. Will I fuck it up? probably. Wish me luck.

(y\n) close the notebook she used as a diary and pushed it under the closed book on her desk, going back to copying from the bored the assignment. The big end of the year project was to take a Shakespeare play and plan how a current day adaption of it would look. "much like west side story taking Romeo and Juliet's story and placing it in the times of the 50's, with street gangs instead of high-class feuding families, touching subjects that are relevant to the time like immigrants and the way we treat them" Mr. D explained farther. There was one thing that man loves more than homework: Shakespeare. The bell rings, and (y\n) started to pack up her things.

"listen, you're like, really smart and I'm not so how about you do everything and I get 50% of the credit". Those words came out of a mouth belonged to a curly haired, sun-glasses wearing handsome guy. "no" she said, pushing her things in her backpack and getting up, "that's fucking stupid, I'm not letting you do nothing and get an A" she kept talking, but the moment she looked at him she started to stutter. "common, you know I'll just ruin you’re a, do you want to ruin your perfect scoresheet?" Steven Hyde kept insisting. "n-no, look, that's, uh, that's a really big project" she replied. "fine" he sighed, giving up quicker then she expected. "you're place right after school?" he offered. "sure" she smiled, not really knowing how to function next to him. she was okay as long as she didn't wonder if his eyes look her up and down behind the sunglasses, so she looked away from him. "do you have a car here? Cause I drove with a friend this morning, so I don't have one here. Or in general, I don't, I don't have my license… yet, don't have it yet" (y\n) said. She was still messing up her sentences, even without looking at him. "yeah, I have a car. I'll meet you at the exit, bye" he said, ignoring her rumbling. "okay, see you" she said, waving behind him. "shit" she mumbled the moment he was out of her sight, leaving the classroom to go to her next one.

The school day was finally over, and (y\n) stood by the gate, waiting for Steven to come. He arrived, finally. He barley waved at her, but she followed him to the car anyways. He opened the door for her, still quiet. "didn't expect you to be the gentleman type" she mumbled, but he heard. "I'm not, but you seem like you wouldn't dare to touch my car without my permission. Just saving time" he said as he sat down beside her. "oh" she said, a bit disappointed. He was right though; she'd probably embarrass herself by asking "do I just open it? Can i?", and she has made herself enough of a fool in front of him already. He started the car and turned on the radio. "if you have a problem with the music, suck it" he said. He pressed the gas and they left the school.

"what makes you think I don't like the rolling stones?" she asked him, and he looked at her for a second before moving his eyes back on the road. "you seem like a good girl type of… girl" he said, stopping as the lights turned red. "being a good girl doesn’t mean I can't enjoy good music" she laughed. His surprise made her proud, for some reason. "good point" he said, "who else do you like?" he asked. "take a left after the lights" she said, giving him directions to get to her house, "and as for your question - Led Zeppelin are great, Aerosmith" she listed, and he nodded in approval. "maybe you're not that bad. I was planning to be a dick and make you want to do the project alone, but I might have to actually help a fellow rock fan" he said. "thank you..?" she said, her tone making it a question. "you better thank me" he said, turning the wheel. The car took a sharp left, and she thought she's gonna die for a second. "the next right and then-" "wait, that's the rich part of town" Hyde cuts her off, "man, this might be a lot more fun than expected "he smiled, and she sighed. "look, just, don't talk about it to you're friends, okay? I just don't want people to look at me as a rich stuck-up" she asks. "honey, everyone thinks you're a stuck-up anyways" Hyde replies, "with you're way too nice behavior, and the way you never go off the rails. You try to hard to be good, people think you think you're better then us" he says, popping her bubble. "I'm not better then you, I just don't want a criminal record" she replied, immediately defending her name. "do people really think so?" she asked after a moment of silence. "yeah" he said.

They finally got to her house. "dude, you are-" "don't say that" she cuts him off. They went inside and settled in her room.  "so, what play do you want to make-up an adaption for?" she asks. "uh, let's do something easy. Romeo and Juliet, but it's high school and we can talk about the effects of social-status on our lives" Steven said. "everyone is going to that" (y\n) says, "we need something else".

She takes the book of off her nightstand. "what's that?" Steven asks her. "the comedies of Shakespeare" she replies. "it's- you read that for fun?" Hyde laughs. "yes" she says, "got a problem with that?" she says, raising an eyebrow. The comfort of her house returned her ability to talk, and the longer she spent time with him the more conferrable she felt. Plus, she barely looked at him. she hands him the book and allows him to choose a title.

"what's this one?" he asks, pointing at the letters forming "Much Ado About Nothing". "oh, this is one of my favorites" she smiles, "a soldier falls in love with the daughter of the governor, evil guy makes Claudio – the soldier – to think Hero – the daughter – is unfaithful. Meanwhile, Don Pedro, who's also a soldier, is setting up the third soldier – Benedick - with the niece of the governor – her name is Beatrice, and that's most of the plot. Also, evil dude? Half-brother of Don Pedro" she explains. "so… jock likes principal's daughter, who's in... I don't know, chess? Then dude from Chess club is like "man, she's cheating on you". Other Jock dude and other girl in chess club fall in love as well" Steven makes up a way to place the story in current times and an environment they know enough to do the assignment. "okay, not that bad for someone who wanted to not do the work" she laughed, and sat down at her bed, "let's get to work". He sat down beside her, and they started working.

Weeks pass by, and the project is finally done. "that's sad, I was actually enjoying working with you" (y\n) said, after they handed out the project. "we can still hang out, you can come with me to the Forman's, I think Donna would like you, and you can have a nerd-down with Eric. He's obsessed with Star Wars, you read Shakespeare for fun… which one's the nerdier?". "I love Star Wars" she says. "and… it's you. You are such a nerd" he smiled, and she laughed. "sure, yeah, that's be cool. See you after school, you can drive cause, you know, I don't have a car, or a license-" "yeah, I know" he says, and waves goodbye as he walks away. "yup, great, just. great" she sighs.

They arrive at the Forman's and turns out Steven was right, she got along with his friends right away. Kelso hit on her after less than a minute, Fez made her feel a mix of fluttered and uncomfortable, Donna and her got along perfectly and Eric and her managed to start an argument regarding a star-wars thing no one else understood. They settled it eventually, when Jackie asked them to "stop, I don't want your nerdiness to stick to me, that’s just.. ugh". "well, I'll go to the bathroom for a sec, Donna, my notebook is in my bag, you can copy the homework" (y\n) said, and went upstairs, leaving her bag behind. Donna took out a notebook and flipped through, realizing this is not the right notebook.

"that's not science, that's her diary" Donna sighs, putting it aside and looking for the right notebook. "ohhh, juicy" Jackie laughed and grabbed the diary, reading through. "don't read it, it's personal" Kelso says, taking the notebook away, "how would you feel If someone read your diary?" he asked while reading the page Jackie was reading a second ago. "dude, that's rude" Steven said, and took the diary away. He was about to put it back in her back, but he noticed his name, and started reading it. "I liked steven for a while now…" he says outload. "Steven Hyde, what the fuck?!" (y\n) calls out, takimg the diary from his hands. "That's- how can you do this?" she sighed, tears forming in her eyes. She took her bag and ran off, not giving Steven the chance to explain, or react to what he just read.

He ran after her.

"(y\n), wait!" he called after her, running as fast as he could. He catches up quickly, since his legs were longer than her's. "listen, okay?" he says, and she sighs, grabbing her hand. "no" she said, trying to pull her arm out of his. "please?" "no" "please?" "no" "please?" "n-" they argued back and forth, until he kissed her. "please?" "okay" she gave up. "I like you, (y\n). look, Donna took it out instead of the science notebook, and I took it away from Kelso to put it back, and then I saw my name. I had to read it, I needed to know if it says you like me. You're like... the Beatrice to my Benedick" he said, embarrassed to admit that was the information he looked for. "oh" she says, "I guess that's… weirdly sweet" her smile finally shows up on her tear-covered face. "don't call me sweet" Steven sighs. She laughs. "I mean, I know you'll say yes, cause, you know, I read you're diary-" "don't mention that, please" "-sorry, but, do you want to go out sometime?" he asks. "no" she says, "I don't date guys that read my diary, so-" he kissed her once again, this time the kiss is deeper and more passionate. Their lips move perfectly against each other's lips. They finally cut off the kiss to breath. "however, I do date good kissers, so, I guess I... I guess I'd go put with you, sure" she sighs, hands on the collar of his shirt. "cool" he smiled, and took her hand, leading her back to his friend's basement.

[faulty-writes]

Okaaaayyy. How about Todoroki has a crush someone who really is All Might's secret love child? When he finds out the illuminati music plays in his mind because... shE İS QUIRKLESS. Can I request something like this?(headcanons or one shot) Maybe in order to become her boyfriend, he first request All Might and Midoriya's permission. I don't know...

[I actually like this idea. I never really think much into next-generation things, the whole sons and daughters of current heroes and such. So this should be fun, I hope you enjoy!] 

Todoroki never thought he’d have a crush on someone, let alone All Might’s daughter. Though you were quirkless, you decided to pursue a career in nursing and worked alongside Recovery Girl. Helping her tend to the injured students, that’s how Todoroki met you. Though it’s safe to say he didn’t trust you at first, especially when he noticed how close you were to All Might, and that raised questions. 

In fact, you would get a headache from the questions he’d ask. Todoroki always managed to corner you and with a suspicious glare, he’d ramble off. “Why are they allowing a quirkless student in UA? I find that strange.” “Do you have a connection to All Might, I notice how close you two are. How can that be?” you would always make up some excuse and try to get back to helping the hero students. 

When he noticed you were friends with Midroiya, he felt a small amount of envy but he wasn’t sure if it was because you were close to Midoriya or Midoriya was close to you. If only he knew how much you envied Midoriya, after all, he was your father’s protege. Still, you had become close friends with him and ironically enough, Midoriya was envious that you were the daughter of All Might. It seemed like an endless cycle of envy. 

However, you made sure Midoriya knew to keep your relation to All Might a secret, given you and your father, had similarities. You had his unruly blond hair and while you were skinny, you weren’t as bony as your father was in his true form which you were thankful for. Apart from that, you had your mother’s eyes and your father’s heart for justice.

Todoroki eventually dropped his suspicions when he realized his questions were getting him nowhere. Instead, he’d show up at the Nurse’s office to have small conversations with you. Which surprised you at first, but you gladly accepted his new friendship. The day after Todoroki asked you to lunch was the start of when he began to realize his feelings for you. 

The stories you told about being quirkless and of your mother, who didn’t particularly like heroes, had him interested in you. In fact, when he was around you he’d remember how to smile which wasn’t an easy task. He felt the urge to protect you, even though you were capable enough on your own. In turn, you found Todoroki to be an interesting individual, even with his sad backstory and the fact that he was the son of Endeavor. 

He still managed to make his way through the world and he always pushed himself to his limits, never willing to give up. There were many things you admired about Todoroki, but your feelings were nothing compared to how much he admired you. He’d even go as far as to drop hints about how he felt. On occasion, he’d brush your hands together or make any excuse he could to touch you. 

He’d slump against you when you were sitting on the couch together and grab your hand when he insisted he had something to show you or that he wanted to hang out with you. You found it strange, but you went along with him. After all, what did you have to lose? Todoroki wasn’t the most exciting person to be around, but he was gentle and sweet. Despite appearing cold, he was very soft with his words. 

Sometimes it made you feel bad knowing you were keeping a secret from him, but if he knew the truth. How would he react? “Y/n?” Todoroki said and you popped out of your thoughts, turning your head to face him. “Hm?” you said as the wind blew your hair. Todoroki had insisted you watch the sunset together. It was a strange request, but who were you to deny him? 

“Are you alright?” he questioned, reaching over to gently lay his hand over yours, silence filling the air between you. “I …” your lip began quivering and you turned away from him. Despite being a pain in the ass when you first met him, you had grown to care about Todoroki. Especially through the friendship, you two had created and that’s why it was beginning to get so hard for you to keep your secret. 

You wanted nothing more than to admit to the world you were All Might’s daughter and let it be. But you were afraid of judgment. Most would probably expect you to have a similar quirk to your father, but instead, the world cursed you. It was unfair or at least that’s what you thought if only you knew the real story behind your father’s quirk perhaps you’d change your mind. 

But for now, you felt the guilt build. Todoroki deserved the truth and you felt lucky that a hero like him would even want to be friends with a quirkless nobody. You took a deep breath, grabbing his hand to squeeze it tight. “I ...I’ve had something on my chest for a long time now and I want to tell you ...but ...but I know I shouldn’t,” you said, the frown on your face growing. 

Todoroki frowned in turn and leaned close to you. “You can tell me anything,” he said, his heart racing in hopes that this something was that you liked him too. But he knew he shouldn’t dream too far. Still, he couldn’t help it, he had tried to deny his feelings for you. Shifting his focus from that to being a hero. But, it was no use. It was no use fighting something that was so true. 

So instead, he accepted his feelings and though you couldn’t tell. His heart raced whenever he was near you and he was always paranoid that he would end up blushing when he was around you. He always thought about you, whenever he was in combat or facing down a villain. The image of you was clear in his head and that would push him to prove himself to you. 

“Please ...what’s bothering you?” you nibbled on your bottom lip, the fear was making your heart race. “I …” you sighed in frustration and reached up to pull at your already messy hair. You closed your eyes, trying to relax. How would you go about telling him? “Do you remember the questions you asked me when we first met?” you said, dropping your hand. 

Todoroki looked confused but nodded. “Yes.” he replied, “Right well ...remember when you asked me ...i-if I had any connection to All Might or any of the teachers?” you asked and once more Todoroki nodded, “Yes,” he said and you chuckled, he was so straight-forward sometimes. It was as adorable as it was annoying. 

“Well …” you brought your knees up to your chest. “You weren't that far off …” you said, the words left your lips hesitantly and you felt Todoroki release your hand. “What do you mean?” he questioned, cocking his head to one side. You groaned, dammit. Why was he so dense? You sigh again and turn your body to face him, looking into his eyes. 

“Shoto …” you said and watched his eyes widen as you used his first name. You kept quiet a moment, a silent debate going on in your head. But he would find out eventually so wasn’t it better to just admit it now? Let go of the burden? Let go of the weight that continued to pile on your shoulders? You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. “I’m All Might’s daughter …” you said, hissing softly as your sentence ended. 

You weren’t sure if you wanted to see Todoroki’s reaction, but it was safe to say thanks to the silence that filled the air he was more or less shocked. You peeked one eye open, almost amused to see Todoroki’s eyes wide and his jaw dropped. “Y-You’re ...what …” he said and you glanced down. “All ...Might’s ...daughter?” you repeated and Todoroki placed his hand to his chest. 

His heart was beating so fast, he was afraid he was having a heart attack. “I …” he began before staggering to his feet which surprised you. “I ...I have to go.” he turned away quickly and you frowned, “B-But we were supposed to watch the sunset together!” you called, feeling your eyes water over. Dammit, would everyone react like this when they found out? 

You sniffed and lowered the hand that was stretched out to Todoroki. A few tears ran down your cheeks before you sigh yet again. “Maybe telling him was a mistake, how can a quirkless nobody be the daughter of All Might?” you said to yourself before covering your face and allowing more tears to come. Eventually, the sky grew dark, but you didn’t feel like moving from your position on the grassy hill. 

You were almost worried about facing Todoroki the next day, but you didn’t see him when you arrived for your daily training under Recovery Girl and that worried you. Maybe he didn’t want to see you? You couldn’t blame him, though you weren’t exactly keeping your secret to hurt him. You just didn’t want anyone to know. 

The weight that would be put on your shoulders if people knew the child of All Might was close to useless was unbearable. But still, quirkless or not. Every child seemed to have some type of responsibility put on them, some goal that they had to reach in order to prove themself. Your mother hated heroes and though she didn’t put any pressure on you to reach any particular goal. She wanted you to accomplish great things nonetheless. 

Guess lying and keeping secrets wasn’t part of that. Your shoulders dropped, maybe you’d apologize to Todoroki when you saw him. Even if that didn’t help anything. In reality, when Todoroki heard those words come from you, he didn’t believe it. How can the daughter of All Might be quirkless, how could the daughter of All Might be you? The person he happened to have a crush on? Maybe something deep inside told him that you were related to All Might and that fueled his admiration for you? 

He wasn’t entirely sure, he didn’t have any hero he looked up to. Not even his father. But such things didn’t matter, he had to face the facts that he had feelings for you. Whether it was a crush or something more, he didn’t know. But he felt strongly enough that he had begun to imagine a life with you. He wanted to be more than your friend, he wanted to be your boyfriend and maybe if things worked out. Eventually one day, your husband. 

But he wanted to do things right, he wanted to ask your father’s permission to be yours. After all, he didn’t want to evoke the Pro Hero’s wrath or questions if he just asked you out and hoped for the best. No, he would be a man you could be proud of. So the next day, he decided to skip class and go searching for All Might. Eventually finding him in the woods near UA with Midoriya. “All Might!” he shouted as he approached, “Hm?” All Might turnt his head. “Ah, young Todoroki! How may I help you?” the hero questioned before scratching his head. 

“Wait a moment, are you not supposed to be in class?” he questioned, he had gotten special permission from the Principal to give Midoriya extra training during the first period and as far as he knew, Todoroki had no such permission. Still, he watched the young hero nod his head. “I am, but that’s not important to me right now. I …” he glanced away, feeling his face become flushed.

“Hm?” All Might blinked as well as Midoriya. “Uh Todoroki, are you okay?” Midoriya questioned and trembled when Todoroki glared at him. “Uh ...right, I’ll just wait over there …” Midoriya said, pointing to some section of the woods behind him. Once he was out of sight, Todoroki took a step towards All Might. “I know, y/n is your daughter …” he said flatly and All Might jumped, waving his hands in the air. 

“Now, now let’s not jump to any conclusions,” he said before Todoroki shook his head. “You misunderstand. She told me herself and I’m not telling you this because I want to hang it over your head or use it against you I …” once more he glanced away, he wasn’t used to feeling this vulnerable. He took a deep breath, curling his hands into fists and he looked at All Might with a determined expression. 

“I ...want to ask your permission to ask her out, I want to ...to be her boyfriend.” he finished, “Y-You what!?” All Might responded, clearly at a loss of what to do as he nervously chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. “Ah, well I ...I appreciate you asking me but uh ...well …” he glanced down before looking over his shoulder. “Young Midoriya, come here!” he ordered and almost like an obedient dog, Midoriya came running over. 

“Yes, All Might?” he questioned and Todoroki rolled his eyes, Midoriya certainly was a fanboy. “Young Todoroki has feelings for y/n!” he announced and Todoroki’s eyes went wide, his cheeks turning a dark red. Did he have to announce that to the world? Midoriya turned to look at Todoroki and laughed as he saw how red his face was. “I kind of figured with the way you looked at her, y/n is amazing. I don’t think she’d mind if you confessed your feelings to her.” Midoriya said as he placed a hand on his hip. 

“Correct! I believe my daughter is quite considerate of other's feelings however,” he turned back to Midoriya. “Young Todoroki wishes to be her boyfriend, do you approve of that Midoriya?” he questioned and Midoriya looked surprised, “Me?” he questioned, his eyes nervously shifting back and forth. “Well, I ...I mean ...Todoroki-kun is …” he paused and turned to face his classmate who was impatiently tapping his foot on the ground. 

Midoriya took note of this and smiled, “I don’t see why not if you really have feelings for y/n and you promise to take care of her. I approve.” he said with a nod, “Ah very well! You have my approval as well, however, if I may ask. How do you plan on popping the question?” if Todoroki was being honest, he hadn’t thought of how he’d ask you. “I ...I’m not sure, but ...I know my feelings are true. I suppose I’ll just listen to my heart.” he said before bowing. 

“Thank you very much, it’s an honor to have your approval,” he said before leaning back up, smiling. “I promise,” he placed his hand on his chest. “I will not mistreat her, she is the most important thing to me and I will treat her as such. I will always protect her, I don’t care the cost,” he said, All Might and Midoriya nodded. “Good luck,” Midoriya said, making Todoroki’s smile grow bigger. “Thank you,” he said before walking away. 

He waited outside the nurse’s office until you came out for lunch, “Ah!” you jumped back when you saw him and immediately shifted your glance to the floor. “T-Todoroki ...a-about yesterday I …” you stopped speaking when he took a step toward you, laying his hand on your shoulder. “It’s fine ...I’m sorry for my behavior. I shouldn’t have run away but I suppose your confession came as a surprise to me,” he said before lowering his hand and you shyly glanced at him. 

“Yeah ...well …”  you played with your fingers, “I d-didn’t want to tell anyone. It’s hard enough being quirkless, on top of being All Might's daughter …” you said with a frown, but Todoroki smiled. “I think you are wonderful regardless, it doesn’t matter if you are quirkless. It doesn't matter that you are All Might’s daughter. You are you above everything else but I …” he glanced to the side. “I believe it’s my turn to say, I have something to tell you.” Oh God, you’d be in denial if you said you weren't afraid of what would follow those words. 

“Uh w-what is that?” you questioned, clearly nervous. Todoroki scratched the back of his head, his cheeks turning red. “Well, I ...I spoke to All Might,” he began and you took a step back, “You what!?” you snapped and Todoroki was quick to grab your hands, giving them a reassuring squeeze. “It was nothing bad, however, I wanted to ask his permission to do something,” he explained and you blinked, tilting your head to the side. 

“W-What did you need his permission for?” you questioned, forgetting your anger for a moment as Todoroki smiled and you felt butterflies flutter in your stomach. “I asked him permission to be your boyfriend.” your jaw dropped, “B-Boyfriend?” you repeated, feeling your cheeks heat up as Todoroki stepped closer and laid his forehead against yours. “Yes ...I have liked you for some time and please don’t feel intimidated. I do not care if I am a hero and you a civilian or that I have a quirk and you do not.” he said before placing a kiss to your forehead. 

You squeaked in surprise and swallowed, feeling your mouth suddenly grow dry. “I want to protect you and I want you to be mine, so please ...will you give me permission to be your boyfriend?” he questioned as he linked your fingers together. “I …” for a moment, you had to ask yourself if this was really happening. Todoroki liked you and not only that, he had asked your father’s permission beforehand. 

You took a deep breath, Todoroki didn’t care if you were quirkless or not. He admired you for a reason beyond a quirk, beyond yourself. You appreciated that more than words could say, being different in this world often got you nowhere but Todoroki had his heart set on you. Perhaps together, you could accomplish great things. You felt a smile come to your lips before you looked at him, “Yes ...please be my boyfriend.” you said with a giggle before hugging him and Todoroki returned that hug all too eagerly. 

[homeformyheart]

the perfect gift (part 1) - noah harris x mc (mtfl)

author’s note: the idea of noah of hearing how proud his dad is of him and how important emma is to him just came to me randomly in the car and it’s the fastest fic i’ve ever written (~5 hours)! this is considered a sequel/follow-up to first choice and takes place about 3 years after. noah’s roommate “sean” is “sean gayle” from endless summer 😊.

copyright: all characters owned by pixelberry studios. series/pairing: my two first loves - noah harris x mc (emma price) rating/warnings: 18+; swearing, descriptions of drinking, smoking; smut will come in part 2 word count: 3k based on/prompt: gift for day 14 of choices september challenge summary: emma spent months carefully planning noah’s 21st birthday gift and drove up to surprise him at hartfeld for the weekend, but things go south after a big fight makes them both reevaluate their relationship after three years together. 

read first choice to learn how they got together in the first place.

the perfect gift (part 1)

emma locked the car, put the keys in the ignition, and turned on the radio. she rested her forehead on her hands that were gripping the steering wheel as the fight replayed itself in her mind and she heard noah’s hurtful words on repeat. she closed her eyes and let the tears fall, her body shaking with sobs.

emma walked down the hallway toward her boyfriend’s apartment with a spring in her step, a large package hidden in a shopping bag swinging with each step. it was the last suite on the floor but even halfway there she could hear loud music blasting from inside. she wasn’t aware they were having a party, but she figured she would still be able to surprise noah for his birthday. she spent months putting together the perfect gift for him and was excited to give it to him. she felt a slight twinge of guilt for lying to him about not being able to visit this weekend and blowing off his texts and phone calls today but only so she didn’t accidentally let her plans slip.

she knocked on the door and one of his roommates greeted her before pointing toward the balcony. the apartment was packed and already reeked of both beer and fruit juice, half full cans and empty plastic cups littered almost every available surface, including the beer pong table set up near the balcony. she used the key noah gave her at the beginning of the year to drop off the shopping bag with his present in his room, locking the door behind her before going to find him. he was standing over the railing with his back to the balcony door, but emma easily recognized the leather jacket and bounced excitedly over.

she stood on her tiptoes to put her hands over his eyes and said excitedly, “guess who?”

instead of guessing, noah pulled her hands down and turned around. “you didn’t tell me you were coming. i thought you were busy today,” he said, his voice neutral and his face stoic.

“i wanted to surprise you for your birthday! come on, don’t look too happy to see me,” she teased, nudging him playfully.

noah didn’t even smile. the excitement emma felt up to that point quickly changed to a combination of dread and worry. “what’s wrong, babe?”

“i thought you had better things to do than spend your weekends driving 8 hours roundtrip to spend a day and a half here? you shouldn’t have come,” he said, looking away and chugging down the rest of the beer in his hand.

emma finally noticed how dilated his pupils were and the smell of beer and whiskey radiating off him. noah never got this drunk, especially before they had a chance to talk on the phone to say goodnight. she couldn’t help but wonder if he got drunk because she blew him off today after telling him she wouldn’t be visiting.

“i thought you’d be happy to see me. you know the best parts of my week are when i get to spend time with you. i was hoping to surprise you for birthday and I have the most amazing gift for you!” emma said carefully, trying to keep the mood light.

noah didn’t respond right away, taking out a cigarette and lighting it first. emma frowned; noah knew she hated it when he smoked and he had promised her he wouldn’t make a habit of it and that he wouldn’t smoke in front of her. something was definitely wrong.

she crossed her arms over her chest. “what is going on with you?”

“you want to know what’s going on? here’s what’s going on – you’re wasting your time with me. there is no point in being in a long-distance relationship where we see each other once or twice a month if we’re lucky and we’re both pursuing potential careers that will make it so we see each other even less,” noah spat out angrily, turning away to take a long drag of his cigarette before continuing.

“what kind of loser spends their time in college driving 400 miles roundtrip to spend time with a deadbeat? you should be making friends and having the time of your life, maybe even dating someone who can better provide for you. you deserve so much more. why are you wasting your time with me?” noah turned back toward her, his eyes blazing with anger.

tears started to fill emma’s eyes. she had no idea what triggered noah’s outburst but knew she couldn’t have a rational conversation with him while he was drunk. “i’ve never felt like i was wasting my time with you. every moment we have makes me so happy i feel like i must be dreaming! i don’t know what is really bothering you that you’re lashing out like this, noah, but you’re drunk. let’s go to bed and talk tomorrow when you’re sober.”

“no, emma,” noah took a final drag and threw the cigarette on the floor, putting it out with his foot. “i don’t think we should talk tomorrow. i think you should go back. i’m sorry you wasted your time driving down here.”

emma watched the sparks disappear from the cigarette before responding, her voice barely louder than the noise from the party inside, “you don’t mean that. if i leave, you’re telling me our three-year relationship is over.”

she gave him a longing look, willing him to apologize and take back what he said. he looked back at her and emma saw only a glimpse of the sweet and sensitive noah she fell in love with three years ago. the noah in front of her looked at her with a broken and haunted look in his eyes. a split-second later, his gaze hardened and he shrugged.

emma had made her way out of the apartment as fast as she could and ran to her car. she was still sobbing uncontrollably 20 minutes later but at least her body wasn’t shaking as much. she was wracking her brain, thinking back to the last few months to see if she could figure out where and when things went wrong. they did feel a bit more distant as football, midterms, and applying for internships kept them preoccupied but emma didn’t think it was a problem; they were still able to see each other at least once a month and they talked daily. they had similar fights and conversations during freshman and sophomore year, when insecurities about making a long-distance relationship work and trusting each other were more prominent. but after making it through all that, emma thought they were stronger than ever.

she grabbed tissues from her glovebox and cleaned herself up. she leaned back against the seat, closed her eyes, and tried to take deep breaths to calm herself down. everything he had said felt like a dagger to her heart but what hurt the most was the way he exploded at her. he was always really good about bringing up his insecurities about their long-distance relationship and his concern for the toll it might take on her in a productive way. they agreed they wouldn’t push each other away but talk through any problems calmly like adults. and he did the exact opposite.

it was already late when she arrived at hartfeld and it would be really late by the time she got back to her own dorm. but going back to noah’s apartment was out of the question. she debated whether she should stay in the parking lot a little longer on the off chance that noah would come to his senses and come after her, however small a chance that was. she was rational enough to know that it likely wouldn’t happen given how drunk he was, and the later she stayed, the more tired and emotional she would be during the drive back, and she didn’t want to risk getting into an accident. she took one last look at the lack of new messages on her phone, lingering on the photo of her and noah at the beach as her wallpaper before turning the key in the ignition.

* * * * * noah groaned at the bright sunlight streaming through the window of his room. his head was pounding and his body felt like he had lost a boxing match outdoors in 90-degree heat. he struggled to open his eyes and immediately regretted it when the sunlight nearly blinded him and seemed to amplify his headache. he couldn’t remember the last time he had been this hungover. certainly not since before he and emma became serious. oh god, emma.

he bolted upright in his bed, wincing at the sharp pain in his head and tried to rapidly blink away the dizziness he felt. he chugged the pedialyte and took the ibuprofen that was on his bedside table and forced himself to look around the room for his phone. the battery was dead. just great, he thought, plugging it quickly into the charger. he slowly stood up, trying to keep his nausea at bay, and grabbed his shower caddy. it surprised him how handy it was, especially considering he shared a bathroom with two other people, and couldn’t help but smile as he remembered how cute emma was when she was explaining why it was important for him to have his own caddy while they were picking out things he’d need for the apartment at uskea before school started.

he could feel the ibuprofen working to alleviate some of his headache, but knew he’d need to eat something too. noah stood still under the shower, letting the hot water run over his hair and face and down his body for a few minutes, trying to collect his thoughts and remember the events from last night. bits and pieces kept coming back to him while he got dressed and made himself a sandwich but he still wasn’t sure if what he remembered had actually happened or if he was replaying the “what if” scenarios about why it felt like emma was distancing herself from him. these scenarios had been going through his mind before the party and was the primary driver for how drunk he got.

“look who’s finally up after his crazy birthday rager! happy birthday! how you feelin’ man?” his roommate and football teammate sean came over and gave him a hard slap on the back.

noah flinched and swallowed before answering, “like crap. i’d forgotten what it felt like to be hungover.”

“i’m sure emma’ll take good care of you. is she up yet?” sean asked, turning away to set up the coffee maker.

noah felt his stomach drop. “emma? she told me she couldn’t come this weekend, too much stuff to do,” he replied apprehensively. please let it just have been a dream, he begged inwardly as he held his breath waiting for sean’s reaction.

sean gave him a quizzical look. “she was definitely here last night. i let her into the apartment and told her where you were hanging out on the balcony. she even had a present with her. maybe she stepped out before you woke up?”

that meant the nightmare fight he had with emma wasn’t a dream. shit. he heard her voice in his head say, “if i leave, you’re telling me our three-year relationship is over” and everything came flooding back to him. “no, no, no, crap! i think i fucked up last night. i need to call her.”

noah closed the door to his room behind him and picked up his phone. he saw that he had a single, new text message from emma timestamped at 1pm, two hours before he got up:

[emma: happy birthday]

his thumb hovered over the picture of her smiling face he used as her contact photo in his phone. maybe i’m misremembering, maybe if i explain i was so drunk i don’t even remember what i said she’ll forgive me. he dialed her number and held his breath as he waited for the familiar dialing sound to start, but it didn’t. instead he heard her automated voicemail and hung up. he tried to send a text but it was clear that she had blocked his number. he put his head in his hands and let the tears he felt prickling behind his eyes fall silently. what have i done?

after a few minutes, he wiped his tears and looked around his room. he saw what was probably the present sean mentioned and picked it up off the floor. the box was at least as wide as his laptop and maybe just as heavy, wrapped perfectly in bright pink, sparkly wrapping paper. noah chuckled softly; emma always did like trying to embarrass him. he unwrapped the paper carefully, folding it neatly and tucking it away in his bedside drawer before opening the box to reveal a beautiful leather-bound scrapbook, a card, and an envelope. he picked up the envelope first, since it seemed out of place, carefully cutting through the seal on the envelope and unfolding the letter inside.

[dear emma,

i’m sorry for the delay in writing back to you. thank you for the beautiful scrapbook you sent. i was so overwhelmed and grateful to you for reaching out and ashamed that i wasn’t enough of a man to write to my own son. not a day goes by that i don’t think about him and his siblings and it’s wonderful to see and hear about how well he’s doing. it’s clear that you care very much for him and that he must be someone special to you.

please tell him how proud i am of the man he’s become. despite having a deadbeat father who can’t hold down a job and needs alcohol to numb the pain, noah has really done well for himself. i am so proud of him – seeing those photos of him playing football in high school and college and those of the two of you together made me really happy.

one day i hope to be worthy to be in his life again, but until then, thank you again for bringing joy back into my life and showing me what a wonderful man my son has become. if it isn’t too much trouble, i have also included a photo that i would like you to give to him – it’s one of my favorite memories of him as a kid. i hope he treats you as the treasure you are and keeps you close. it’s special and rare to have that kind of love and support in your life and you both mustn’t take it for granted.

i move frequently due to work so please do not send anything else to this address.]

it was signed with his father’s signature. noah blinked rapidly a few times to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. even though the letter was addressed to emma, noah understood the message was intended for him. he pulled the photo out of the envelope and his eyes widened with recognition. his dad had taken him to a boxing gym and taught him how to wrap his hands and the photo was of them sparring after. given how harsh his dad was when he was a kid, noah was surprised that he would hold on to a photo like this. he opened the card next.

[hiiii babe~

noah traced her familiar handwriting with his finger. emma drew little hearts instead of the dot on top of the letter “i”; it was a habit she kept since high school for when she wrote him letters and notes after he told her once that he thought it was cute.

i can’t believe you’re turning 21! you’re practically an old man 😉 kidding! not a day goes by where i don’t miss your sexy, brooding face and your cute butt. your personality too, I guess ;P. i hope you get everything you wanted today because you deserve all of it and more! you’re the best boyfriend a girl could ask for (and even after 3 years together, i still can’t believe i’m your first choice) and i can’t wait to celebrate with you!

i love you with all my heart <3

your first choice, emma

p.s. there are two parts to your present! the first is a scrapbook with photos of my favorite memories of us and the second is a letter i got from your dad (please don’t be mad). it took me a while to track him down, but i did and sent a similar scrapbook to him too. i wasn’t sure if he would respond to me, but he did and i wanted to share what he said with you.

p.p.s. i love you!]

noah froze and re-read emma’s card. she sent her dad a scrapbook? to say he was stunned was an understatement. he wasn’t sure how to feel about hearing from his dad for the first time in over a decade but he definitely wouldn’t have been mad at emma. in fact, he felt the opposite – overwhelmed with love for the amazing woman whose kind and honest heart continued to surprise him even after three years together.

he opened the scrapbook and found page after page of pictures emma had taken throughout their relationship, with handwritten captions and little sticker notes all over the pages. he felt a lump form in his throat and his eyes sting as he looked at the photos of her smiling face and the selfies they had taken on various dates. how could he have pushed her away like that last night? he quickly repacked the box and put it inside his backpack, which always had a weekends’ worth of essentials. he grabbed his keys, wallet, and phone before heading out to where his motorcycle was parked. he still felt like crap but it didn’t matter, he needed to apologize in person and prove to emma that she was still his first choice. he only hoped she would be able to forgive him.

* * * * * mentions: @khoicesbyk​; @nyastarlight​; @chetachisblog;  @robintora; @shows-simp-card; @brycesgirl;

[piracytheorist]

A Kiss for Good Luck (9/15)

Summary: So this is the story of one born lucky, and one born unlucky. Fate will keep making them cross paths, but is it to bring them together, or to test them? Captain Swan AU.

Rating: T (make sure you’re okay with the warnings on AO3)

Word count for this chapter: 3.1k (48k in total) AO3

Read from the beginning: Tumblr | AO3

~

Chapter 9: Emma Swan, October 19th 2015 – May 19th 2016

The kiss doesn't get deep, but Emma's insides are melting; damn it, it feels so good and he feels so sweet. She breaks the kiss, fearing she's already gone too red and hoping the cold lights around them won't show it.

He's looking at her, and she feels she'll have to run or she'll turn into a pool of goo right at his feet.

Thankfully, his eye catches something and he turns his head to the side. Emma turns as well, only to see a woman a few yards away, about their age, looking at him with a scorned expression.

Killian just shrugs at her, and the woman seems to scoff and turn her back at them.

He turns back to Emma. “Don't worry,” he says. "Wanna add me on Facebook? It's Killian Jones, if, if you're interested... we can share favourite songs."

Emma snorts. "Like we're in high school?"

He laughs, a bit awkwardly so. "I won't stalk you if you don't add me, just saying."

Emma smirks at him, then reaches into her belt bag and takes out her phone, which immediately slips from her fingers.

"Shit," she says, picking it up and gasping when she sees that the screen cracked a little. "Shit!"

"Oh." Killian bites his lip. "I feel as if I've caused that."

Emma shakes her head. "It's replaceable. Don't worry. Killian Jones, you said?"

He looks to be debating himself. But Emma quickly opens the app, finds him and adds him. "Friend request sent," she says. "So we can chat about hot, new releases," she says, only half joking.

"Hey," Ingrid calls at her. Emma turns to see Ingrid's eyes go from her to Killian.

"Coming," Emma says. "So, we'll keep in touch," she tells him, pointing at him with her phone.

For the first time in so long she finds herself hoping that this near stranger will actually respond.

“Who was that?” Ingrid says as they start walking to their rented car.

“He's Killian,” Emma says with an innocent smile.

“You know him?”

“No, actually. We just met.”

Ingrid's brows shoot up. “You were just kissing a guy you just met?”

Her tone isn't accusative, just curious. So Emma's smile widens and she says, “Yeah. Yeah, I-”

She's cut off by her own gasp when her ankle bends unexpectedly and she falls down. For one long second she feels cold sweat at the back of her neck; first her broken phone screen, now tripping on flat ground?

“Emma?” Ingrid is kneeling next to her, face full of worry.

“I'm okay,” Emma says, collecting herself.

“Sweetheart, did he give you something?”

Emma laughs, trying to break the tension despite that small but insistent piece of her mind that's still worried. “If you're referring to butterflies in my stomach, yes.”

“I'm serious.”

“I'm alright. I just... didn't step right. And I'm a bit tired, to be honest.”

Ingrid's face relaxes a bit. “You did dance a lot tonight. Are you sure you're okay?”

“Yes, Ingrid. We were just talking and then... kissing felt right.”

“In any case, perhaps you should let me drive.”

Emma's jeans got a bit dirty and she scraped her palm after falling, but they're too small to rival the amazing birthday night she just had.

She wakes up with a bit of a headache, ringing ears, and a sore throat. But that day it's the goodbye to Ingrid that takes priority.

Ingrid promises to do her best to come to Boston for Christmas. Emma holds back her tears, hugs Ingrid, then waves her goodbye as Ingrid boards her plane.

Emma sits back. And waits. And waits.

Her flight was supposed to have left only twenty minutes after Ingrid's – she had considered herself very lucky to have found two cheap flights so close to each other – but now it's been delayed for more than two hours, the waiting chairs full of exasperated passengers and too many tired toddlers.

The food isn't great, the air conditioning hits her a bit too much and she doesn't get much rest. The lines at passport control are long, and she's happy she decided to take just a cabin trolley and not have to wait at the baggage carousel. She's already too tired, her body stiff, and she regrets not asking Ruby to come pick her up as she waits for a taxi while it's raining and a little too cold outside.

The next morning she scrolls through the line of notifications from Ruby asking her again and again to wake up and tell her everything, and it's only then she sees that Killian has accepted her friend request.

And he's active now. She checks the time – it's afternoon there and a Sunday.

She gives herself ten minutes. Her hair is not cooperating and she smudges the eye pencil on her lower eyelid.

She just shakes her head. Maybe the connection will be bad enough that he won't be able to see that much detail.

She settles herself on her bed and takes five deep breaths before calling Killian on video.

It takes a bit too long for him to answer. Maybe she should have asked first?

Eventually, his face fills her screen, and her stomach is all in happy knots again.

“Good morning,” he says. “Or afternoon? Have you gone back yet?”

“Yeah,” Emma says, noticing her wide grin on her preview, “I arrived last night.”

“How was your trip?”

“A bit more tiring than I'm used to. But safe.”

“Than you're used to? You do it often?”

Maybe she's not ready to go fully into her history with Ingrid, but he seems to catch up with what little she shares. They talk more than just their favourite music. For now, it's food, and how they'll spend their Sunday, then Halloween and Christmas...

She doesn't realize a whole hour went by until Killian, seeming a bit conflicted, says he has to go eat. He's staying with his family, and his parents are 'already experiencing retirement by eating early'.

Emma laughs, swallowing her own bitterness. She keeps it at bay until the call ends, then she sighs, looking at her cracked, black phone screen.

He's with family. He doesn't have to move countries and choose whether to celebrate holidays with them or with friends.

“Ugh,” she tells herself. She doesn't actually know much. For all she knows, he's had it as bad as her.

Work isn't going well. There are enough cases to go by, but they wear her out every day. Ruby is busy with work and her new girlfriend, and David's mother has gotten sick and the Nolans don't have the time to invite Emma every Sunday anymore.

At least, she manages to talk to Killian twice a week. She knows she'd like to talk more often to him, but she's still a bit insecure. Not just about whether she's annoying him, but because she feels like an old pessimist again, and caring for this will only end up breaking her heart.

She can't help it, however, especially when half the time it's him calling her, staying up late because it's already evening when she finishes work, then they spend the next at least two hours equally listening and talking.

She still gets to see Ruby and the Nolans occasionally, and she still gets enough to go by. But her one constant these days is Killian.

Ingrid tells Emma that she can't issue a visa in time and she won't be there for Christmas. Emma knows her bank balance isn't enough to afford a last-time trip to Norway; the Nolans will spend the holiday with David's mother in a small town in Maine, and Ruby is taking Mulan to New York City. Bless their hearts, though, they offered. It was only the white lie that she found super cheap tickets to Norway that convince both Ruby and the Nolans to not cancel their plans.

She gets a gift from Ingrid – a hand-sewn sweater that apparently got coffee spilled on it during shipping and she has to wash it. It shrinks and the coffee stain hasn't left. She doesn't dare use the word 'luckily' to describe the fact that her other gifts weren't ruined. Killian sends her a collection of seashells, with a note telling her that he gathered them himself.

She spends the little money she kept aside on a grand meal and many boxes of pop-tarts for Christmas. She calls Killian as she eats one of them, teasing him about eating her favourite “sugar-coated sugar,” as he called them once.

It's still late for Killian, but he talks to her even longer this time.

“What about your family?” she asks.

“It's four in the morning, Swan. If anyone's awake they're probably sneaking around the kitchen for a 'very-late-night' snack.”

She's the one falling asleep to him talking to her that night.

Just five years ago, Emma would watch the ads on TV and everywhere else talk about “family time”, or a “time to share the love”, and they would wash over her like everything else did in her life. She was the one everyone else counted on to not take the days off during holidays. But since reconnecting with Ingrid and making new friends in Ruby and the Nolans, Emma got slowly used to being part of something. A family, a company, where she learned to appreciate that time again. A time when she would go shopping for someone other than herself, when it wouldn't be a given that she would work on a holiday, when she would expect it just for the extra time and coziness she would live with someone else.

Now the commercials hit as hard as they did when she was seventeen and homeless; eighteen and in prison; nineteen and alone.

Being loved and thought of has really spoiled her, hasn't it?

She barely has the heart to call Ingrid when it's the latter's time to change the year. They wish each other a happy new year, and she feels glad that there's a lot of celebration going on where Ingrid is, so Ingrid doesn't get the time to truly see how difficult it is for Emma, to see what she's missing and all for a stupid lack of money.

At eleven in her own time, Emma breaks down crying in her bed.

She feels so alone. The past few years of reconnection with Ingrid and having new friends seem to weigh nothing over the emptiness she feels now. She didn't even have the heart to decorate her house this year.

She lies curled up in bed, hoping she can fall asleep before she surely hears the neighbors start the countdown, but, of course, no such luck.

Instead, four minutes before midnight, she gets an sms from Killian. An sms?

Turn wifi on, he tells her.

Breathing shakily, her throat thick with sobs, she turns it on but is still surprised to immediately receive a video call from him.

She checks the time, and tiredly tries to do the math. It's four minutes to five in the morning there. What is he doing?

She accepts the call, and her first glimpse of Killian is his tired but smug face. As he gets a good look at her, though, his face falls.

“Oh, Swan...”

She bursts into sobs again. He doesn't speak, but from the few glances she gets of him until she calms down, she knows he's waiting patiently.

She wishes she could reach her arms into the screen. She knows that his would hold her back.

She knows.

She gets her breathing under control and she looks at him, wiping away her tears.

“Thank you,” she says, and he smiles softly.

Damn it, that smile. She almost starts crying again, but he takes pity on her and looks somewhere away.

“It's thirty seconds now. Do you want me to count with you?”

“Yes, please.”

He smiles again, still softly but a bit more cheerfully now.

The connection lags two seconds, according to her neighbors' countdown. But the two seconds between the cheers across the wall and Killian popping a confetti cannon in front of the camera are theirs and theirs alone.

“Happy New Year!” he says.

His smile is so bright. Her tear-stained face in the preview looks so out of place, it feels wrong.

“You stayed up,” she says, voice harsh from crying.

“I... woke up. I mean, I went to sleep a bit early, and even I would say two is early for New Year's, so I snuck in a few hours of sleep before the alarm went off.”

He did it for her.

How wrong is it to wish she could kiss him now?

Her words will have to do.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“I wouldn't forgive myself if I let you change the year alone. Especially after you told me what you didn't tell your friends. Losing a bit of sleep is nothing.”

Her friends. He says it as if he's not one of them.

Well, he's not in that group of friends, but he belongs in that category.

Only that, though? Just a friend?

Once again, he stays up with her. He's properly prepared – snacks and music and lights and, well, soda, considering how late it is there – and she just feels stupid all she has is the sugar-coated sugar.

“Perhaps I chose the wrong flavor,” he says. “If I visit Boston one day you'll get me your favorites and I'll taste them all.”

Her heart flutters at the idea of him visiting. She's tempted to correct his 'if' with a 'when'. Because she wants him there. She wants it to be certain.

But she decides to keep it low for tonight. He already gave her the best surprise she could have had.

Perhaps she loves him.

But she's known better than to hang onto hope.

The last thing she remembers seeing is the view from his window, at the tiny show of the sky getting brighter.

The last thing she remembers hearing is him singing Auld Lang Syne.

None of them ask, and none of them organizes anything more, but their video calls become daily. Depending on Killian's schedule, of course, they talk from ten minutes to three hours at a time. Even on very busy days, they manage to sneak in at least five minutes of talking, even if it's just voice chat.

Gerda is having health issues, forcing Ingrid to not visit at all nor call often, and Emma's work is still hectic. She manages to meet Ruby for drinks or the Nolans for dinner, but it's not on a constant basis like it used to be.

The only constant in her life is coming back tired from work and talk to Killian, who will stay up and chat no matter how late it is for him.

And he once told her he's an early bird.

It feels silly, but Emma can't help thinking of it as a compromise he's making to himself for her sake.

Killian tells her about his childhood; about his mother dying, his father leaving, and then nearly losing himself after losing his brother as well. How getting adopted saved him.

Emma tells him about Ingrid saving her. How she took a disillusioned kid with no family and gave her love and a home.

She tells him about being alone at seventeen and leaning on the wrong person. But her admitting that she has done time comes differently.

He tells her about losing his first love and resorting to things he is not proud of, including getting himself into a relationship that he knew would hurt him.

“I've done some stupid things myself,” she tells him.

“Well,” he replies, “I have a criminal record.”

She shrugs. “So do I.”

He actually raises his eyebrow. “Well, you can say we're equal in that.”

“Mm. I've done time.”

“Oh. Okay. You win.” He seems super casual about it.

“You don't mind? That I've been in jail?”

“Well, did you kill or otherwise harm someone innocent?”

“No.”

“Then, if you've moved on, who am I to judge?”

“What did you do?”

“Hacking, breaking and entering...”

She was a thief herself, but she didn't expect to find such a kindred spirit in him in that way – as well. “What? What for?”

His brows furrow. “Nothing too dangerous, and I was too stupid to think rationally, and it was a very difficult time.” He pauses for a while, then looks at her seriously. “I was an alcoholic. I've been totally clean for about six months now. It had only lead me to make more stupid decisions.”

“Well, you're working through it, right?”

He smiles at her, that smile that always threatens to rip her to pieces. “Aye. I never believed it at first, but it gets easier.”

It's always easier when one is not soul-crushingly alone, she thinks.

She had underestimated him and how much he understood what being alone can do to someone. Conversation flows easier the more they talk, and in early May, he surprises her by telling her he's thinking about visiting her.

Emma immediately offers to let him stay with her.

She fakes a broken connection to recover from the smile he gives her. Jesus. How will she handle it when they're face-to-face?

They come to a mutual understanding; neither thought light of their first kiss, but both knowing of each other's pasts, they decide to take things especially slow.

She hasn't been so excited to count the days for something good since the first time Ingrid visited.

She drives her Bug to pick him up from the airport, but it breaks down midway there. A long string of curses and many calls to a service center later, she manages to send Killian a text letting him know she'll be late.

After a tow truck takes her car away for service, she takes a cab for the rest of the way to the airport, only to find that her message to Killian hasn't been received, and that his flight has just landed, nearly an hour late.

However, he looks fresh and cheerful when he exits arrivals. Even from afar, she can already feel his smile turning her knees into jelly. She steels herself to at least walk normally to him.

They embrace and it's as if a weight is lifted off her shoulders. And if she judged by his face, it looks the same for him.

His eyes trail to her lips, and she gives him a quick peck.

[quixotin]

come get ya miraculous juice

If your thirst for lukanette and slow burn adrinette cannot possibly wait for season 4, Chapter 10 of The Wall Between Us is up on AO3! 

Or read in Tumblr below the cut

Chapter 10

“Aw, come on Luka, don’t be like this,” Albin said, swinging an arm around his neck.

“I’m not being like anything,” Luka protested as he and his group of friends made their way out of the metro station and towards Place de la Concorde. “I’m just saying I don’t feel like coming to a demonstration.”

“So, what would you rather be doing today instead, hm? Stay locked up in your room like an emo kid? Besides, the weather is great today and you know Margot will hang us by our heads if we don’t show up.”

Luka sighed and remitted to walk along, which pleased Albin.

Luka’s friends had been very adamant on helping him out of the house as often as possible since his breakup with Marinette. They knew that, left to his own devices, Luka would close up and keep to himself. He wasn’t the kind of guy that readily shared when something bothered him, he was more the type that had to be squeezed like an orange for him to share his mind when he was feeling low. However, this was not the reason why Luka had put up more of a fight than it was usually his style. It had been almost a week since the breakup and he had managed to keep out of trouble with Hawkmoth, but he attributed his success to a lot of calm evenings and just processing everything his own way.

As much as he supported the cause and his friend Margot, he could see how participating in a demonstration could get him riled up, especially if some asshole showed up. And he’d attended enough demonstrations during his lifetime to know that there was always some asshole showing up.

The trio of boys made their way to the organizers’ tent, where Margo kept busy readying cardboard signs. Without as much as a quick glance upwards and a smile, she said, “Oh good, you’re here. Help me with these, please. Paint is on the table over there.” She handed a couple of cardboard pieces to each of the boys and left them to their own devices.

Luka wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with these. His creativity didn’t exactly lie in the visual department. That was always more a thing for...

He shook his head and proceeded to grab some random paint and brushes for Albin, Noe, and himself. As he turned around, he accidentally knocked a container of black paint on the person behind him waiting their turn.

“What the heck! Watch it!” the girl exclaimed.

“Shit,” he hissed. “Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Let me help you clean-- Kagami?”

It took him a couple seconds to recognize who she was. It had been almost a year since he had last seen her. There was an air to her that made it evident she had changed a lot during that time, but it was also obvious in her appearance. She had cut her hair shorter than before and she had now several piercings on her ears. She seemed to have also shed her preppy outfits in favor of high-waisted mom jeans and a black crop top. Besides her appearance, Luka could  just tell this was the type of girl who wouldn’t take crap from anyone, even more than before. It was a bit… daunting. He did always wonder how someone as intimidatingly sure of herself ended up with someone like Adrien.

“Luka,” she said deadpan.

“You... look very different.”

She gave him a dirty look. “Really? You come to a feminist demonstration and the first thing you do is comment on my appearance?”

Luka blushed with embarrassment. “No, no, no! Sorry! I didn’t mean it like that! You just-- in general. You look different in general.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Thanks for ruining my pants, by the way. They weren't my favorite or anything,” she said sarcastically, then stopped, looked around the room and asked, “Where’s Marinette, anyway? Maybe she knows some way to take the stain off.”

Luka clutched his painting utensils and gulped. He had tried to steer away from the subject as much as possible to reduce his risk of getting akumatized, but he supposed there wasn’t much of a way to evade it right now.

“We, uh... we broke up a few days ago.”

“Oh.” Kagami perked up, suddenly aware how her question might have been a little insensitive. “Sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah.”

“Not that it’s my business, but how are you doing? After your akumatization and so on?”

“I didn’t get akumatized,” he said, suddenly defensive, as an urge to get back to his friends built up.

“Really?” Kagami said, a bit surprised.

“Yes, really.”

“I always had the impression you were super into her,” she commented, but mostly to herself.

“I am--I was,” he said, getting angry.

“I got akumatized into this nightmarish monster when Adrien and I broke up and it turned out it didn’t take me so much to get over him.”

“That has absolutely nothing to do with it,” he retorted, evidently irked.

“No, no. Of course not,” she hurried to say, realizing she had unintentionally pushed his buttons. “I just meant to say props to you. Lesser people get akumatized for the weather or something like that. Sorry for the stupid comparison.

“Sure. Whatever…”

“... Anyway,” Kagami said, sighing. “I guess we’ve made this sufficiently awkward, right? So, I’ll get going.”

Luka marched back to his friends and unceremoniously dumped the materials at the center of their little circle as tried to calm himself down.

He tried to focus on getting something into his sign but the fact he was stuck doing something Marinette usually loved to do was not helping in the slightest.

He breathed heavily, his eyes prickling him as hot, angry tears pooled and then fell onto the cardboard.

“I need some fresh air,” he announced to his friends, who had noticed his mood but had not said anything yet and watched as he stormed outside.

He paced around, taking deep breaths. The anxiety of not being able to calm down mixed with the fear of getting akumatized, was like kindling soaked in gasoline being thrown into a starting fire. And, as wildfires do, it burst out of control.

Luka gasped for air and then, with horror saw as the black butterfly approached him. He sprinted back to the tent where his friends were but by the time he got there, the butterfly had already lodged in the paintbrush he was holding.

The voice of his friends urging him not to give into the spell was faint and distant in his ears, but enough to keep him steady.

The first thing he noticed is that this akumatization felt different. He's was still aware of everything. He hadn’t been completely akumatized yet. Hawkmoth held him in his petrifying grasp but stalled, as if deciding what to turn him into.

Suddenly, his grave voice echoed inside his head.

“What is it that you want, Luka Couffaine?”

“Get out of my head,” Luka hissed, focusing as hard as he could on not thinking of anything that would reveal the secrets he knew.

Hawkmoth laughed. “But you called me here. Your emotions... I can tell you’re a soul in pain. You lost something. I can relate to that pain.” Luka felt how Hawkmoth snaked through his thoughts, looking for something to convince him. A flash of a thought, and Hawkmoth knew he was hiding something.

“GET OUT!” he screamed in his head.

He laughed again. “Oh? And what secrets might you be keeping? Hm?”

Luka winced, straining to keep thinking of random things: music, the weather, that weird bench at school that wobbles when he sits and how he hates it. Anything.

“I can help you recover what you lost...” he whispered softly. “Your girlfriend… Don’t you want her back? What is her name? I can help you. I promise I won’t hurt her.”

He felt himself slipping, turning.

“No!” he said, reverting back into his human form. “Let me go!”

“Maybe what you want is revenge on him? The reason she abandoned you? You’re not worthy like him, are you? That’s why she left you… But I can make you worthy… Wouldn't you want to be in his place, hm? Wouldn’t everything be better with that pesky boy of the way?”

Again, Luka felt himself morph and forced himself to think of other things. He tried reciting stupid facts he knew about ship maintenance.

“Get out of my head!” he exclaimed, sounding much weaker.

“Your power of will is very commendable,” Hawkmoth said. “But if I’m overstaying my welcome all you need to do is tell me what you want.”

“N-no!” Luka said, straining and screaming. “GET OUT!”

“If you--”

Suddenly the contact broke, and he collapsed onto the ground. The world went dark.

When Luka regained consciousness, he did so with a jolt. He was surrounded by his friends, Ladybug and Chat Noir, and surprisingly enough, Kagami.

He had an ungodly headache and realized blood had dried on his upper lip. His nose must have bled.

“Give him some space,” Ladybug ordered the crowd, seeing as Luka was struggling to gather his bearings. He didn’t know what particular panic to tackle first.

“What happened?” he asked, noticing they were not under the tent anymore and the gathering crowd that was preparing for the demonstration had dissipated.

“You got akumatized,” Ladybug explained, a bit surprised she had to fill him in on that particular point.

“Or rather, were about to akumatized,” Chat Noir said, trying to help his confused expression.

“You kept changing into different things. Like, you were getting akumatized on and off again,” Albin explained. “It was pretty scary.”

He turned to Ladybug with horror realizing what that meant. “You need to take me out of here,” he urged.

“Please!”

“Just take it easy for a second, okay?” Ladybug said, trying her best not to share Luka’s worry. “We’ll take you home in a minute.”

Ladybug and Chat Noir had not been present for most of the incident, so they stayed to talk to the people that had seen the attack, mainly Luka’s friends and Kagami.

Chat Noir was the one to interview them while Ladybug found some water for Luka to drink. Once everyone had calmed down and gave Chat Noir their testimony, they took Luka away to a secluded place to talk. It was the abandoned industrial section where Chat usually led Akumas.

“He knows,” he said, with absolute terror in his voice, Luka said pacing around, trying his best to contain his tears. “He knows that I know something! He saw that I was hiding something. I’m so sorry, Ladybug. I tried but he--he was in my mind and saw--.” His voice broke down.

For a reason unknown to Chat, Ladybug suddenly assumed the same urgency as Luka.

“Did he see?” she asked as Luka cried. “Luka, did he see?”

“See what?” Chat Noir asked, with escalating worry. “What is going on?”

“He didn’t. That’s why I kept changing, he tried to convince me several times,” said Luka. “But he knows that I’m keeping a secret.”

Ladybug covered her mouth with her hands.

“Would somebody please just care to explain what is going on?” Chat demanded.

“You didn’t tell him?” Luka said with disbelief.

“Luka, I need you to tell me exactly everything you remember. What happened?” Ladybug said, ignoring the question.

“Nothing. He just… he figured that I… lost someone. And he was trying to get me to tell him who it was, and to convince me to try to get them back, or to get revenge. I managed to focus my thoughts, but what if he tries again,” Luka said fearfully. “You were right,” he sobbed. “I shouldn’t have—I should’ve just looked away that day! I wish I never knew about this.”

Despite Chat’s presence, Ladybug could only comfort Luka with a hug, not knowing what else to do. Chat, on the other hand, seemed to have put two and two together. Luka knew Marinette’s identity.

“Oh my god…” Chat muttered with disbelief as he leaned against the metal sliding door of one of the warehouse buildings and fell to the floor. He grabbed chunks of his hair just to process what all of this meant, what to feel first. His father was only an akumatization away from figuring out Marinette.

“Luka, I promise you I won’t let anything happen to you, okay? We will come up with a plan, Chat Noir and me. But for now, I need to you to lay as low as possible. We cannot be seen together anymore. At all. If Hawkmoth is the person Chat and I suspect he is, he could be very close to finding out who I am if he makes the connection that we were together. Erase everything. Everything we ever posted on our social media, messages, calls, anything that might be public evidence. Try to have Juleka do the same.”

Luka contemplated the prospect for a moment. Ladybug knew she was thinking exactly the same thing as him: how devastating it will be to have to pretend that nothing ever happened. To actively destroy their memories together.

“Okay,” he said after a while. “And what if I get akumatized again? I don’t think I’ll be able to hold him off for any longer than I did today.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Ladybug said. “That’s for us to figure out. Your only task is to pretend like you don’t know us, for your own sake.”

They sent Luka back home on a cab that Marinette called through her burner phone, leaving a heavy sense of danger looming between Chat and Ladybug. He was still on his spot on the ground, with his head on his hands as he supported his arms on his knees.

Ladybug sighed and slid down to sit next to him.

“You told him?”

“I’ve only ever told Alya. He found out by accident,” she said, already defensive and prepared for the argument that was bubbling up between them. “He also knows who you are.”

Chat’s stomach dropped. “Come again?”

“He was hiding in the same alley you transformed in one day.”

Chat let out a heavy sigh and swore loudly.

“You knew about this and you didn’t think to tell me?” he asked Ladybug.

Ladybug was in complete silence. She didn’t know what to say. “I—“

“You what?” Chat demanded.

“I— I meant to tell you next time we met,” she said. “I didn’t think—“

“You didn’t think to tell me that the boyfriend you just broke up with and was very much at risk of being akumatized knows who we are?” he exclaimed with frustration.

“I just—“ Ladybug tried to come up with an explanation, but the words kept getting stuck on her throat. Chat was right to be mad. She should have told him as soon as she found out. But everything had been so much, with him disappearing and Luka suddenly breaking up with her that, in a moment of weakness, him knowing her identity had been the least of her worries.

“What were you thinking?” Chat demanded. “Ladybug, I told you I’m close to the Agreste family!”

“I’m sorry!” she yelled. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think—I was… I was so distracted by everything going on that I never thought… I meant to tell you! But then all this stupid teenage drama got in the way! He broke up with me literally the day after you and I talked. That’s when he told me. I meant to tell you Chat Noir, I swear. I just...” she sighed. “I’m so stupid!”

She knocked the back of her head on the metal wall that they were leaning against. “This was the kind of mistake I wanted to evade by telling someone! And it still happened… No matter what I do, nothing ever seems to be enough.”

She was angry at herself, at the situation, at the fact that no matter how hard she tried, she was still not a good enough Guardian.

“We still have time to fix this,” he said, a lot calmer and even with hints of reassurance in his voice. “We need to use our upper hand before Hawkmoth gets a chance to get his,” said Chat. “I can get a hold of his personal calendar. We can attack when he least expects it.”

“How are you going to do that, Chat? Let me go with you,” Ladybug said, worried.

Chat shook his head. “I’ll do it as a civilian.”

“The more reason!”

“No, Ladybug. If anything goes wrong and he sees you there, he’ll be able to figure everything out. Trust me. I promise I will be careful.”

“But--”

“Marinette, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything happened to you,” Chat Noir said, his voice cracking and evidencing the whirlwind of emotions he had been trying to hide from her. “Please, just let me do this. Please, my lady.”

“Okay,” she said quietly. “But promise me you’ll be careful. And you’ll tell me when you do it. Please, promise me you’ll tell me.”

“I will.”

The clicking of Natalie’s heels as she entered the office disturbed the soft classical music playing in the background.

“Here’s the schedule for tomorrow, sir,” she said, placing a thin stack of papers on Gabriel’s desk. “Your flight to Helsinki is expected to arrive at nine a.m. and your first meeting is at ten, as you requested.”

“Excellent. Thank you, Natalie,” Gabriel said, without taking his sight off his screen.

Natalie nodded, heading to her desk.

“One more thing while I am absent, Natalie.”

“Yes, sir?”

Gabriel zoomed into the picture of the article he had been reading. The photographer had managed to capture the teenager he had akumatized looking urgently at Ladybug, who seemed to reciprocate his concern.

“Make sure to find out everything you can about this... Luka Couffaine.”

[cuddlepilefics]

Not sleepy

Fandom: Stray Kids

Sickie: Felix

Caregiver: Seungmin

 Noone’s POV.:

Chan stood in the kitchen sipping his morning coffee. Their schedule would be rather relaxed today. Dance practice till lunch, then they could split up to work on songs on their own or in smaller groups. He knew 3racha would be in the studio together and suspected the dance line and vocal line to form teams of their own. Most members were already up and had had breakfast before getting ready for the day. The only one still asleep was Felix and the leader thought if he didn’t wake up in the next five minutes, he’d have to wake the younger because he couldn’t let him go to dance practice without eating something first. His thoughts were interrupted when said younger Aussie walked into the kitchen, sleepily greeting the oldest with a low “Good morning.” Smirking Chan replied: “Sexy”, as he referred to the younger’s raspy morning voice. Felix offered a small smile before helping himself to some cereal. He gave a small cough, as the first bite irritated his scratchy throat before asking: “Hyung, what’s first today?” – “We’ll have dance practice till lunch. You should probably hurry a bit, since you slept almost thirty minutes longer than anyone else”, the leader replied, finishing his coffee and washing the cup. The younger’s eyes widened and his voice cracked, coming out much higher: “I did?”. Chan chuckled and sat down next to his dongsaeng. “We figured if you were still asleep, you needed it. I was about to wake you, just before you walked in. Don’t worry, we wouldn’t have let you run late”, he smiled, running his hand through Felix messy bed-hair. He kept the younger company while he ate and volunteered to wash Felix’ bowl so the other could get ready.

Dance practice had seemed like an impossible task to Felix that day. Sure, he usually loved to dance but he hadn’t properly woken up by the time they arrived at the practice room and the sleepy fog in his brain remained there for the rest of the day. No matter how hard the young dancer tried to focus on the music blasting through the speakers, he kept losing the beat. Chan called for a water break and everyone made their way towards there bags to get a drink. Not really paying attention to what he was doing, Felix bumped into Hyunjin, immediately apologizing. Bending over his own bag, he patted his cheeks a few times, hoping to shake himself out of it. He didn’t know why, but he just didn’t feel like himself today. The Aussie sat down against the wall and sipped on his waterbottle, sighing when the cool liquid hit his throat. It wasn’t particularly hurting but it had felt a bit irritated all morning. Sitting down sadly proved to be a mistake only a few minutes later, when Chan and Minho called them to their starting position to resume practice. The boy put his bottle away and pushed himself up but had to lean against the wall for a few more seconds as black spots danced inn his vision. The leader shot him a confused glance, which went unnoticed by the younger. It wasn’t like Felix to take this long to get back to practice. The dancer was usually very motivated to improve his moves, regardless of how tired he might be and he couldn’t possibly be tired after sleeping in that long.

They still had another two hours of dancing to complete before taking a break for lunch and Felix wasn’t improving at all. If anything, he kept messing up more than in the beginning. His head felt cloudy and spun every time he moved to fast, which happened quite often considering their choreography. His limbs felt heavy, barely following the instructions of his muddled brain, muscles burning as the dancer forced himself to move faster, more expressively. “Come on Felix, you’ve been sleeping soo long today. You can’t possibly be tired mate”, Chan sighed, slinging an arm over the younger’s shoulder as they walked to get some more water. The dancer was glad for the other’s touch because it kept him from running into things like he did earlier. He was a bit frustrated however, he knew he was letting his group down with how much mistakes he made. Truth was, the Aussie didn’t sleep nearly enough the previous night. He had been tossing and turning for most of the night, headache forming when he kept waking up only minutes after dozing off. The headache was still present and had only increased the longer he was awake. With the pounding behind his eyes, the dancer slowly felt his nose closing up and he struggled even more to dance, panting through his parted lips. He couldn’t breathe properly and the lack of oxygen only increased the dizziness. It seemed like a miracle that he made it through the entire practice without collapsing.

Packing up their things while discussing how to proceed with their day, Chan made it clear that 3racha would be in the studio working on some new tracks, which left the remaining five members to figure out what they wanted to do. “I wanted to work on my singing a bit so I was wondering if I could join Seungmin and Jeongin in one of the studios to practice vocals”, Felix asked, voice still raspy, since he barely spoke at all that day. Seungmin smiled at him but Minho didn’t seem too happy about it: “No offense, Lix. But you really have been lacking today. Hyunjin and I will be dancing for a bit longer and I think you could use some extra practice here.” – “Aish hyung, let him be. He was struggling more the longer we practiced. I don’t think he’ll be getting anywhere with his dancing today”, Hyunjin interjected after noticing the horrified expression on his dongsaeng’s face. “Hyungies, can I stay with you?”, the maknae beamed, earning a smile from everyone present. Minho was distracted from his frustration towards the youngest danceracha member, so he let Felix and Seungmin leave. After walking out, Felix shot Hyunjin a quick text, thanking the older for saving him because he was right, the Aussie wouldn’t be improving on his dance moves that day.

“Hey, what do you want to get for lunch or should we just go straight to singing?”, Seungmin asked. Not receiving an answer, he turned to find his hyung’s eyes unfocused, lips slightly parted before his head snapped towards the crook of his arm to catch two itchy sneezes. Felix looked back up, blinking away the irritated tears that had pooled in his eyes before looking at the younger: “Sorry *sniff* what was the question?” – “Bless you, the question was, what food or straight to practice”, the vocalist repeated. After a few seconds of contemplation, the dancer answered in a low voice: “I’m not really hungry right now, so we could just head to the studio or you choose something to eat if you’re hungry.” They decided to just practice their vocals for a while and get a bite to eat when they’d feel hungry later. The walk to the studio was silent except for some soft sniffles from Felix. The sneezes hadn’t helped the congestion in his nose in the slightest. “Hyung, watch out!”, Seungmin yelled, yanking him to the side, “What is it with you running into things today? First Hyunjin, now this doorframe…. You should really pay attention to where you’re going, y’know.” The other could only blink in confusion, everything had happened too fast for him to register. Seungmin let them into the studio, where they set their things down and pulled out some lyric sheets. Sitting down, Felix rubbed his fist against the spot between his eyebrows in hopes of easing the pressing ache there. All it did was wake the tingle at the back of his nose. Now that he thought about it, it had been there all morning. The dancer had no time to dwell on it, as he barely managed to press his sleeve to his nose in time to catch an urgent sounding sneeze. His dongsaeng, who tried to bless him, was cut of by another, harsher sneeze. “Done yet?”, the vocalist asked tentatively, watching his hyung shake his head with a distant look in his eyes. "hEGSHU! Ugh, sorry, I’m done now, I think.“ – “Bless!”, Seungmin said, wincing at how rough the other’s voice sounded after those sneezes, “Are you sure about singing today? Your voice doesn’t sound that great.” – “That is exactly why I need to practice”, Felix sniffled. “Hyung, that is not how I meant it and you know it. You sound sick”, the younger rolled his eyes.

They had a staring contest for a few minutes, which Felix was destined to lose due to another sneeze creeping up on him. He blew his nose a few times and sighed in defeat: “Singing is still better than dancing. I honestly thought I was going to die earlier.” Seungmin’s face softened and he rubbed the older’s shoulder, who tried to recover as much of his voice as possible by clearing his throat. “You know what Chan-hyung always says about pushing ourselves too hard when we’re sick. Maybe you should just go back to the dorm and rest”, the vocalist mused. Felix was quick to shake his head but when he spoke, his voice sounded weak and tired: “It’s not that bad, probably just a small cold if anything. I’ll be fine, plus Chan isn’t any better when it comes to pushing himself-“ The dancer’s voice cracked and he choked on a cough. Ignoring the small concerned crease forming on his dongsaeng’s forehead, he accepted the water Seungmin handed him. “How about this, I think I still have some cough drops in my bag. You’ll have one and relax, while I go over a few songs myself and then we’ll see how you’re doing”, the younger offered and luckily, his hyung agreed. Felix didn’t have that many options to be honest, his throat was left raw after his small coughing fit and he closed his eyes as the sweetness of the cherry cough drop coated it, taking some of the pain away.

He really didn’t mean to fall asleep and he had fought the heaviness in his head hard, but while listening to his dongsaeng’s smooth and soothing voice, his eyes kept closing. Felix repeatedly forced them open again till at some point, they just stayed shut. Breath puffing past his cracked lips, the Aussie dozed off, finally being pulled under by the fog in his head. Seungmin had finished his singing, eyes not leaving the other for a second as he watched his hyung struggle not to fall asleep. Collecting his lyric sheets, the vocalist walked over, studying the dancer’s peaceful face, frowning at the paleness that made the dark eyebags stand out. The Aussie truly looked sick, how could he not notice anything earlier when they were dancing? He reached out a gentle hand, brushing it against the older’s forehead, not surprised at the heat he found there. Sighing, Seungmin sat down and pulled out his phone:

Puppy

Hey hyung, Lix-hyung is sick and I wanted to ask if I could take him back to the dorm. I’ll be working on some lyrics there, so I won’t be completely useless.

Leader-hyung

Sure, you can. What’s up with him? You’d never be useless, Minnie!!!

Puppy

Probably just a cold. He’s coughing and I told him not to sing because his voice sounds pretty rough. I don’t think he can breathe through his nose at all and he has a fever.

Actually, he fell asleep while I practiced and he doesn’t know I’m texting you because he wouldn’t want to go home.

Leader- hyung

Is he putting on that whole ‘I’m fine’-act?

If he has a fever, please take him home and thank you for letting me know

Puppy

Yes, he is.

Wish me luck, that he doesn’t fight me too much when I wake him to go home

Leader-hyung

Just threaten to call me, or actually call me and I’ll tell him to go home

Puppy

Thanks, hyungie

Leader-hyung

See you at the dorm later.

Don’t worry too much about the lyrics either, just keep an eye on Lixxie for me please

 Pocketing his phone, Seungmin went over to shake Felix’ arm, the Aussie blinking up at him dazedly. “Hyung, we’re going home”, he stated, slinging both of their bags over his shoulder. The older just watched him confused: “We – what? Where an’ why?” – “We are going back to the dorm because you are sick and need some rest”, the vocalist explained, slower this time. Noticing the hesitation in his hyung’s eyes, he added: “I already texted Chan-hyung, he said you should go back and I should call him if you fight me on this.” The dancer knew there was no use in putting up a fight, plus he felt ten times worse after his short nap and lying down sounded o soo tempting. With a small nod, he allowed his dongsaeng to pull him to his feet and stumbled along while the younger made sure he wouldn’t run into things again.

When the pair made it to their dorm, Felix was pretty much asleep on his feet, which worried Seungmin greatly. Despite his childish personality, the dancer was still a good hyung, who liked to seem strong in front of his two dongsaengs. They took of their shoes and the vocalist parked the older on the couch while he brought their bags to their rooms, changing and collecting a more comfortable set of clothes for his hyung. “Here, why don’t you get changed while I make us some soup for lunch. It’s been a while since breakfast”, the younger smiled, handing Felix the clothes he had picked out. He then went to the kitchen to cook a basic chicken noodle soup his mom had taught him. Soon he felt two arms around his waist and turned to the young Aussie next to him. “You don’t have to do that, Minnie, y’know. I’m ok”, Felix rasped, rubbing the back of his hand against his pink nose. While stirring the soup with one hand, Seungmin wrapped his other arm around his friend’s middle, pulling him into a hug and humming: “I’m not doubting that you’ll be ok, I just want you to feel a bit better now and if there is anything I can do to help you, I will do it, even if it’s small.” He then stepped away from the dancer to pour the soup into two bowl and grabbed chopsticks for himself and a spoon for Felix, in hopes the change of cutlery would make the older feel more at home. They went back to the living and got comfortable on the couch. Seungmin turned on some random drama playing on the TV for them to watch while they ate. “Wow, this tastes pretty good”, the dancer praised, making his dongsaeng blush. “Thanks, my mom taught me.”

Not long after, there bowls were stacked on the coffee table and the two continued to watch the drama in silence. “You should probably try to sleep some more, hyung”, the younger spoke up. Felix really yearned to take a nap, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He usually needed to cuddle someone when he slept and being sick only made him clingier but he couldn’t ask his dongsaeng to cuddle him. The vocalist had already done so much for him and the dancer would most definitely get him sick if he asked for cuddles, so he refused: “Nah, I’m good. Not sleepy yet.” All he got in return was a look that clearly stated ‘if you say so’. Stretching out on the couch, Seungmin pulled the older into a flat position with him and all too soon, Felix congested snores filled the room, while the Aussie cuddled into his dongsaeng’s side. The younger rolled his eyes with one hand tangled in his friend’s locks. ‘Not sleepy my ass’, he thought and continued to watch the drama while absentmindedly playing with his hyung’s hair.

[dreams-in-a-jacelyns-head]

This Person x and x This Moment

As I took in the view from the twentieth floor, I saw lights all over the city, twinkling like shards scattered on a dim-lit floor. It was in fact amusing, how we awe at these masking lights, watching them from a distance that suits us. As beads of gold carelessly thrown across a newly scythed lawn, those shimmery windows were just a façade to all the stories brewing inside. Nonetheless, they say essence is the freight of vantage; and could I be any different?

Perhaps I was, and I wasn’t again. I was, after all, a human. But of a girl hailing from a semi-metropolitan, I lacked the charm, if that the correct word would be. And it wasn’t unusual for girls my age to still be deficit; girls who still had a couple of years to glow up. And again, I wasn’t the only one in my grade either, I was pretty decent. But somehow, I was also the only one to be not enjoying our one and only prom night.

And please remind me why did I bring that up again when I could have just stared into the chasm  of eternal city lights. Maybe, it was a technique learnt in the world that induces satiation with repetition. A rule which charismatically, then intricately murders the true sense of something- executioner of words – semantic satiation. Fourth year was actually a sunless sky, helping the clock from midday to six without giving a feel of the day, before it finally came from behind the curtains – it was Showtime.

I remember the day we went prom-dress shopping, I was really excited. A happy concoction with leaves of laughter and the sugar of our bond, in my mind. A memory bound to make me rejoice, but amidst this unnerving, frivolous noise, it somehow made my headache. I had thought myself to be really lucky when I found myself a dress that refined my body. But what was the use when I was sitting in isolation, surrounded by no one but blurry, receding music and chaperones, with their drinks spiked, puking and fooling all around.

The next day after we got our dresses, Drunvala was asked to prom by a boy one year senior to us. It wasn’t a grandiose proposal, still something soft enough to tickle anyone’s heart, specially when it comes from a boy who failed elementary grade from the school of romance. When the blood rush finally quieted in Drunvala, the results of the class quiz were announced. A bet had been settled between Miroslava and her academic rival that if she scored the higher then Rei, her rival, would have to be her date. It was quite easy to look through his anguished countenance when his inside was filled with joyous anxiousness. And well, talking of Sylvia, she already had all her faith invested in a lover. That made my crowd, leaving just me. I started losing the heart to go. As a matter of fact, I knew - despite all my friends falling short of orders in convincing me that they would not desert me – I was going to be all by myself again.

What happened next are miserable blabbers of tacenda. I was really happy for my friends, and I didn’t want to ruin for them what was being ruined for me. And so, the miserly me was sitting out of prom, dusting the same blue dress I would have otherwise never entertained a stain on. I couldn’t really see the fun others did in the fourth year. Maybe all my fun was killed in the course of over-expectations. Maybe it didn’t seem fun at all because fun in my estimate was over-ambitious. It’s all a play of perspective.

“My goodness, Silvestra, such a beautiful dress! Let’s go in, why are you sitting here?” Arabelle had just walked out of the main hall with her group of friends. This was the same girl who had convinced about a dozen guys to ask her to prom, then rejected them. Other drones of her swarm stood by the door, snickering about something as they always did.

“What’s the need of a walking Grammarly in a fun gathering anyway?” Myles chuckled from among the swarm. Arabelle held a laugh, glaring at him. He shrugged, smirking.

“Thank you, Arabelle, but I’m completely fine. Was just here to get some fresh air.” I knew I was getting some comment from someone sitting out here like that. I wondered why I wasn’t home yet. Ah, yes, I didn’t want my girls to carry that load of iniquity.

“Okay, Silvestra, see you! I’ll be waiting for you inside.” She waved a hand at me, then laughed to something Myles said, it intertwining with the boom of music inside.

“I understand that the wind is pretty today, Miss Argen, but it is something that would return.” A deep voice startled me out of my thought and agony.

“Yes, Mr. Everhearth.” I couldn’t have said but a simple yes to what a teacher said to me. He was our homeroom teacher and took Environment and Geography.

“Ah, but then again, the wind would not be pretty again today.” He said, leaning against the railing. I looked up. Had it been some other teacher, I would have stood up and greeted them. But it was different with Mr. Everhearth, and for everyone. There were no formalities and yet everyone respected him. Not out of any fear or sheer requirement, but a genuine respect and admiration I doubt any student would ever have for any teacher. He met eyes with me, sighed a smile and sat next to me, cross-legged and about a metre apart. “Let me tell you a secret.” He said, while taking something out of his pocket and tossing it into his mouth.

“What’s that?” I raised my eyebrows and glanced at him.

“Hm? These are dried cardamom leaves. They help me calm after a long day. You want?”

“Well, I was talking about the secret, but I guess I can’t reject a mind-calming offer right now.” I received two-three from him and started chewing on one. “So, then?”

“Eh? How do I place this? Would you believe me if I said I’m just eighteen? I mean I’ve heard I don’t look my age.”

“Honestly speaking, Sir, it’s no great marvel. It would have been had you said you were in your thirties.”

“Yes, so I justified my age which I won’t believe would be a barrier now.”

I frowned. “I’m afraid, Sir, I’m unable to identify the meaning of what you’re trying to say.” Mr. Everhearth was accustomed of saying eccentric things that could be interpreted twice. It was often hard for other students to truly get his words.

“Miss Argen, now that it has been confirmed that I’m, too, a mere boy your age, why not vent all your thoughts to me?”

My eyes poured after his speech, a doubtful sorrow making his image blur in front of me. I looked down in an attempt to hide what had come upon me. But, it was Mr. Everhearth after all, the man who had the ability to exactly predict and warn us about our behaviour the entire day after recognising our problems in the subject. My lips quivered as I quietly began, “This-“

I was halted by his sudden, and seemingly aggressive movement. He got up and walked away with the briskness of the same wind that was making hair raise on my skin. Simply putting it, I was devastated. When I finally tried opening up to someone, he walked away? And he puts up that play of being a good teacher and the like? But, he indeed was really patient. Was it my fault, did I break the composure of the man who never lost his tenacity? Is really everything in this world just my fault? What do I do wrong every time that I get to places like this? Or, if it isn’t my fault then why does the world seem to falling apart in front of my eyes?

I sat with my shoulders drooping over my body, my palms holding them up just to prevent them from falling. The night had turned into a gelid blanket, giving warmth to the smiles and cold to the cries. It had just been forty-five minutes since the prom started, and fifteen minutes since Mr. Everhearth had left. For some reason I couldn’t understand, the latter felt a lot heavy. It seemed like I had been sitting solitary for hours. All of me was really cold. It felt colder when my tears ran down my neck. This specific tear, however, stopped halfway, when it seemed to have been integrated into some warm clothe. I looked over my shoulder and saw that a brown blazer had come over it. Mr. Everhearth sat next to me, that one metre still separating us.

“The night has abruptly turned rather icy. Here, take this, it will help you calm.” He said, handing me something febrile over-brimmed in a wine glass. Maybe as an outcome of the bewilderment he saw on my face, he continued, “Pardon me, Miss Argen, for leaving this sudden and being out for the entirety of seventeen and a half minutes. I just couldn’t find chamomile somewhere nearby so I had to rush home in order to brew it. I must have caused you some great troubles, I sincerely ask forgiveness.”

His face was adorned with mild panic, trickles of perspiration racing down his temple. And I deliberately use 'adorn' because it was novelty to discover an expression of consternation on a countenance that seldom relinquished equanimity. I carefully sipped the tea, making sure it wasn’t too hot for my tongue to take.

“You don’t need to worry about that, Sir. I’m glad you’re so concerned. But, Mr. Everhearth, there’s a café on the ground floor that serves Chamomile Tea, there weren’t any needs to take this much trouble.”

“Wait, there was? Why didn’t you tell me that before? I could have returned in just five minutes.” He seemed down on learning the fact.

“Well, how would I know where you were going.”

“I couldn’t just leave you behind like that, Ms Ar-“

“Upon my humble request, can you please call me Silvestra?” Listening to this, that mild trepidation returned to his face.

“But that’s… I can’t… I can’t call you by your name, Miss Argen.”

“I possibly don’t see a major issue in that, Mr. Everhearth, and as far as I can recall, you said you would try to fulfil any licit wish that a student makes of you. I don’t see what’s so ‘illicit' in asking you to call me by my name?”

“Okay, Miss” he hesitated for a moment, “Silvestra, I think I can’t argue ahead.”

“Drop the honorific, too, please.”

His eyes widened the instant I said this. He started scratching against the collar of his black turtle neck. In the dim moonlight I could make out that his cheeks and ears had put on the same shade as my calming tea. As soon as he noticed me looking at him, he turned his face away.

“With much due respect and cordiality,” he started, slowly moving his face to look in front. “But I can’t possibly call you by your first name, not of now, at least. Please accept my heartfelt apologies on the matter.” He said, looking down, now scratching his nails.

Not of now? What does he mean by that? Did I actually request something illicit?

“Well, Miss Argen” he spoke up upon relaxing a bit. Normal colours had tiptoed back into his face. “I couldn’t just leave you behind like that. I had to get you something that would warm you up when I was asking you to recount on something downhearted.” He smiled.

This person was so concerned about me when he’s just my teacher. Which teacher in the world would go to his home, which God know was how many miles away, to bring a Chamomile Tea just because one of his students was sad? It’s sinful thinking this, but my friends never came to check on me, and this one teacher hadn’t the heart to leave me? I must have done something really good to deserve a person like him. I was sure that I could trust him.

“How was your fourth year? Were all your expectations fulfilled?” I asked, mounting my legs in front of me, binding my arms around them. Then, I remembered that he was just the age adequate for high school.

“I never had any, no fourth year, no prom. I was just given the education necessary for me by the age of 15, and then by 16, I had started working. I was hired to this school this year itself, and you were my first batch, as you must know.”

“And still you’ve got all the students to love you.”

“Yes?” He seemed happy on hearing this. I nodded affirmative.

“I can’t say how it was for me. It is supposed to be great, anyway it’s our last year in school. But maybe it was just my mistake, always being the solitary reaper, sowing and harvesting by and for myself. Maybe it’s a shortcoming on my end.” Tears welled up in my eyes as I said that.

“What happened?” He was looking directly into me, I knew that for sure. But I didn’t have the courage to meet eyes with him, or anyone, not even with my own self. He had turned towards me now, and reached out a hand. “May I?” He calmly asked. When I indicated a yes, his hand came over to direct my chin to look at him, then wiping off my tears with the tenderness of dandelion with his coarse fingers. “Give me your pain directly from your eyes, Silvestra.”

This locution made tears sprout from my eyes with a will to never end again. He sole looked at me, with the patience of the Sun as he looks upon the seeds while they grow up into beautiful woods.

“You saw the grandest proposal, didn’t you? Well, who didn’t, it was all over Instagram. No one could have had the heart to let it down. I’ve liked him, the boy who was proposed, ever since middle school. It happened the day, no, right before I was going to walk up to him. He was in tears.”

“What a waste – pardon me for that.” He said, leaning his hands against the floor. “Skylar has been giving you mixed signals ever since middle school, dating you intermittently, breaking your heart every time, and you’re still not ready to give up on him? Always remember one thing, Miss Argen : the right one will never play these begrimed tricks on you. He would have been sitting next to you right now instead of me, had he been good for you.” All of this information above, which was correct, was predicted by him. Now you know his skills.

“No, sir, it’s just my fault. Everyone knows that I like being alone, and that I don’t like people interfering in my business. It’s just that, no one is to blame.”

“I don’t agree there, Miss Argen, no one likes to be alone. That’s just a fact they accept when they don’t have anyone. You prefer being alone because you can’t break your own heart, you can’t fail on your own expectations. Because everything you do has already been anticipated by you. The people closest to you will never let you down. They can’t, because it’s not in them to let you down. The people who lie in the intersection of strangeness and kinship, will. When you apply this in practical life, your list of dearest ones almost empties. But the ones that are left, are the one to whom you’re the dearest. And they are the ones who truly matter.”

“My list seems to be empty now, just one name there.”

“Then you’re really fortunate to have that one person. There are people whose lists are completely devoid of this proximity. You should cherish this person forevermore, Miss Argen.” He said, gripping my shoulder with a formal affection. “Now, now, Miss Argen, the night is running out. And I can’t permit any of my students to not enjoy their prom night.”

“No, sir, I’m fine this way.” I quietly started.

“Oh no, you’re not. I think you could use some touch up. Let me call in reinforcements.” He laughed and dialled someone on his phone.

Seriously? I really couldn’t believe this guy.

“The best of evening to Your Lordship, kindly allow me to represent myself as- yes, Your Kingship, I understand that you have showered your kindness upon myself by registering an unworthy name on Your Lordship's contact list, but my stance shall make it imperative for me to bother you with a formal representation. Could Your Lordship be bothered by yet another request of this pauper? – Yes, Sir, Could Your Kingship take the trouble regarding a do-over for an acquaintance of mine? – I thank Thee with the most humble emotion that has ever came upon me – I shall most joyously wait for Your Lordship’s company.” The call ended.

What was that?

“Mr. Everhearth, I’m sorry for this, but why did Thy Highness take the trouble of engaging in the most noble conversation with a paragon who shares Thy Highness' kinship?” I laughed heartily. The horror in his face melted into a curve of satisfaction.

“Well, it made you laugh, so it was worth the troubles.”

This was followed by the sound of the door opening. From inside entered a lean, but muscular man, wearing a formal two-piece with a t-shirt inside. His long, tar, hair was half up, and with his hand slid in his blazer pockets, he seemed to be descrying a friend. When his eyes fell on me, he raised a brow and gave me a grin of superiority.

“There’s one girl of the like at every prom.” He said, approaching me slowly and with an air of grace. I didn’t quite like his remark.

“It’d be better if you elaborate on your remarks.” My tone was firm.

He chuckled, looking down on his black nails, then crouching next to me. “I don’t have that kind of time. Anyway, as a child, I always sewed my toys back when they broke. You know how unfamiliar new toys feel, right? Consider yourself lucky that I know how to fix-up broken dolls. Hm, now let’s see…”

I didn’t want to seem like a problematic child, so I quieted down and started looking for Mr. Everhearth. He was leaning against the wall next to the door. He held several flowers in his hands and was moving them rapidly.

“You’re good to go.” The man backed off.

“What, already?” What speed, I thought.

“Ah-ha!” He said, then looked back. “Earth, you did that, didn’t you? No, of course you did.”

“What?” Mr. Everhearth quickly put the flowers away, flabbergasted.

“This.” The man held up a cardamom peel. “You put this on her head.”

“Oh, well this?” He laughed to me. “Put that back, Havelock, that’s her crown for crying the most tonight.”

I was going to kill this man.

“Or wait,” he continued, “Give it here, I’ll incorporate it into this.” He revealed a rigid jasmine and leaves garland and attached that peel to the conspicuous side of it.

“What’s that?” The man, Havelock, was as confused as me.

“Well, if she agrees,” he started forward with unrushed, gentle steps, then at an appropriate distance, kneeled down on one leg. “…That’s the crown that my prom date adorns.” He had held both his arms in front, and on them sat that beautiful tiara. In that one moment, I saw Mr. Everhearth. There, in the glow of Artemis, he looked ever-beautiful. Or maybe, it was just in this moment. His ebony hair, with countable streaks of light mints on the rear, cascaded down in a modest invitation. His dusky eyes, with a freckle of that same mint, could go to any extent when it came to his students. On his either cheek, I could make out a reflection of the Viking Rune of Growth, what he always wished for his students.

“You can’t be serious, Mr. Everhearth.” Disbelief and shy mirth had condensed in my eyes. My calves, for the first time, felt that my body was too heavy for them to support.

“Well, I did say I can’t permit my students to back out of their one and only prom. Of course, it’s totally up to you, you’re surely welcomed to slap me across my face if you'd like but it was totally worth a try. I would have done this even if you were a boy, with appropriate disguise, not to mention.”

“The school might kick you out for this.” I said, my legs ready to fall apart any moment now.

“Don’t care, doesn’t matter.” He said with a pretence of tiredness.

“Your poor school will kick out a prodigy like Earth? Not in a million years. It literally has it’s prestige built on the name of 'Mr. Everhearth’.” I heard Havelock say in the background, but I was in no position to look away from the eyes of Mr. Everhearth at this moment. My mind was an ocean then, thoughts swimming past in catches and seclusion. Was it even appropriate? Nothing mattered right now.

“Yes.” I said meekly as my knees gave up. Though I didn’t hit the ground, I was held midway.

“I can’t let any of my students fall when I’m right there with them.” Mr. Everhearth was holding me up. He decorated my hair with the tiara with every ounce of endearment.

“Good choice, Miss Argen.” Havelock stopped filming and walked towards us.

“You filmed the entire thing? And call me Silvestra.” Is this what you call your best day?

“Well, I had to, my best friend just made a prom proposal. And call me-“

“Chart-busting Makeup Queen.” Mr. Earth interrupted with a sly grin.

Havelock, no sorry, Chart-busting Makeup Queen was already on his way out of the floor. He held his first two fingers along with his thumb, all while walking, saying, “You’re going to pay for this, Mr. Everhearth. Later.”

Then I remembered all of a sudden. “But aren’t you our DJ?”

“Karma will take care of that.”

“You know him, too?” Karma was a boy two years junior to us.

“Well, he’s my little brother.

“Ah, not a long time is left to the night. If we head early we might catch one dance.” Mr. Earth had walked ahead, his hands warming themselves in the cover of his pockets.

Dance? With Mr. Everhearth? “Sir, I’m afraid I’m not a very good dancer.”

“So? Just follow my lead” He looked back at me and smiled. “Here, walk ahead.”

 

The hall was tepid and pleasant, a lot more than outside. It reminded of the apricity that escapes the shelter of clouds on a winter morning. We walked up to where the crowd was. Arabelle had on her head the chaplet of Prom Queen and was dancing to the superhits remix on the floor. It wasn’t out of our expectancy, more like we foresaw this. There was no chance anyway, but I was glad I, for once, wasn’t the Prom Queen. I wasn’t ready to part with my fragrant coronet until it was ready for the decomposers to gain their nutrition from. All my friends, too, were doused in the tunes with no care in the world. Karma was already up there, handling his job with dedication. I didn’t expect him to nod to me while I just noticed him. Be that as it may, as the lights lost their supremacy and the music changed to that which is played in royal ballrooms, I realised that it was a response to Mr. Everhearth's cue. I took his hand and held him like I had seen Belle do in Beauty and the Beast, and we began swirling around the room. All the students subsided and fell into a round crowd as we danced amidst them. One time, we came shoulders with Myles and Mr. Earth seemed to be trying so hard to resist, but he finally said –

“Seems like no conventicle could ever work out without semantic knowledge. Oh, wait, do you even know what 'conventicle' means? Doesn’t seem like it. What was the word you used? Yes, ‘gathering’, how quotidian! Yeah, so, no gathering could ever be possible without semantic knowledge.

“That was not necessary?” I cackled, letting my head fortuitously rest upon his shoulder.

“Why,” he beamed with a dash of excellence and another of ascendancy. “Isn’t it my job to make my students learn lessons? And that reminds me, you’re already well-versed with the basics.”

“I might step on your feet.” I feebly pinched his blazer while watching my steps. I did it. I stepped on his feet.

“Ah,” he sighed, pins of ascendancy still crafting him, “Why else do you think I built them so strong?”

I thought must have resembled those girls who looked up to their mister with a shy smile of devotion. But from Mr. Earth’s face I could make out that my face right now of was when I lean on the window sill and watch the Hunter's Moon when it ,by happenstance, falls on my birthday. I didn’t want that night to end. Maybe that’s what you feel when you’re genuinely happy. Maybe final year was not that bad, after all. Maybe. It’s what all this world rests on.

[canyonmoonlily]

| What Goes Up |

live! on tour series

A/N: Here comes the Smut ;)

.....

“Y/N!”

“What?” your entire body lurched upright at the sound of your name. You could hardly see thanks to the blinding sunlight streaming in through the unfamiliar window. You hardly remembered what the hotel you were staying in looked like you’d been so inebriated the night before.

“Alarm!” The same voice that had woken you from your slumber called from beyond the closed door. Oh. It was only then you noticed Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin was playing very loudly. At first, it had worked great as an alarm but you’d grown used to it and could sleep through it like a pro now.

The voice that had called for you to turn it off must’ve been one of your bandmates. According to your phone, it was already 10:30 am so you might as well start your day. You stretched and moved to get out of bed after turning it off only to find you are, in fact, stark naked.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

You hurriedly grab your robe you’d hung on the bathroom door and wrap it around you. You were scared to look in the mirror and see hickies or some indication of promiscuity from the night before. You had nothing against sleeping around, but considering you’d still only ever slept with someone once, you weren’t usually bold enough to sleep with a stranger. Which only means that if you did, in fact, have sex last night it was with someone you knew.

Like Harry.

The last thing you can remember is Harry singing along with George Harrison’s voice as you cried into his chest. Like the emotionally unstable psycho you are! your brain added.

You ripped the metaphorical bandage off and took a glance at yourself in the bathroom mirror only to find no evidence that anyone had touched you the night before. You also didn’t feel sore other than a slight headache. Considering you hardly ate, it took nothing for you to get drunk so hangovers were never really an issue for you.

You feel like you’d know if something had happened the night before. It had been a hot minute since the one and only time you’d had sex before. The only obvious differences in your appearance seems to be the absent of the makeup you’d worn the night before and your clothing. Had Harry taken off your makeup for you? Your chest contracted at the thought of him taking the time to play caretaker to drunk you.

Then you remember the way he’d kissed Kendall the night before, and remind yourself that despite the Game Night events, you were only friends. And that was all you’d ever probably get out with him. You needed to place your mental emphasis on the fact that you had him in your life at all and be grateful for that. There was no point in stringing yourself along on the hopes that one day he’d fall in love with you and the two of you would live some kind of happily ever after. Your life was far from a movie and you were far too old to be entertaining such fantasties anymore.

....

Harry watched you slip out of the green room with a heavy heart. You were like no one he’d ever met before. Last night, with all of your drunken ramblings and your little hands grabbing at his hair, calling him pretty. You had laid with your head in his lap for hours, going on about everything from George Harrison to the inherent good or evil of human nature.

He’d gazed at you adoringly, laughing the night away while the party died downstairs. He’d left Kendall alone but he wasn’t worried about her, she knew he didn’t love her. It was purely a publicity stunt, as always.

Harry shouldn’t love y/n. He knows this. Columbia records was considering signing a deal with your band, a major one that would launch your group even further into music stardom. You’d only released one album, and already had a huge fan base. Harry’s opinion the matter was of great value to the record label, and he’d been given specific instructions not to go and “make any unprofessional or romantic connections with the three of those girls.”

Harry had agreed to those terms, but that was before he knew you.

The first time you stepped into the pre-tour production meeting room he thought he was going to vomit. You’d all stumbled in late, being scolded by your manager, John. You hadn’t noticed Harry was even in the room.

You were slightly shorter than average, with all of the right curves and long, golden hair down to your waist. You donned an old Ben Folds Five tshirt and high waisted denim. You couldn’t seem to keep your hair out of your face. Your bandmates looked pained every five seconds as you whispered what was clearly absolute nonsense into their ears throughout the meeting. The way your eyes sparkled with mischeif, your unabashed goofiness nearly smacked him out of his chair. You were nothing like what he expected when he’d been told he’d be touring with an all girl band. You were the most alive thing in the room.

He knew why you were upset. It was because Kendall was wrapped around him like a fucking sloth after tonight’s show in Cleveland.

His feet didn’t consult with his mind before he found himself following your fleeting figure.

“Y/n!” He called.

You stopped dead in your tracks, refusing to look back at him.

“What is it, Harry?” Your sweet voice was a bit hoarse.

“Where are you going?” Harry’s voice was small, reminding you of your younger brothers back at home. You felt the cold armor you’d wrapped around your heart bend a little.

���To bed.” You responded simply.

“Listen, Kendall and I...it’s not—“

“Harry I didn’t ask. You don’t know me an explanation.”

“I do, though. What happened after game night—“

“—doesn’t need to be talked about it again. I’ve already erased it from my mind. Your secret is safe.”

“Secret? Y/n what the hell are you going on about?” Harry’s voice broke a bit, at that you finally turned to face him.

“I know you probably don’t want her to find out about that—or anyone to for that matter. It wasn’t very professional of us.” The shining of tears on your face took Harry by surprise, as you’d melt your words void of all emotion.

“Y/n I don’t give a shit about her!” Harry nearly yelled. “Well, no, I do care about her but not in that way.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Then why are you two making out every time I see you together? Harry, you’re not making me feel any better.”

“It’s a stunt. It’s for publicity. To keep the paps entertained.”

“Oh.”

“I....y/n, these last few months we’ve spent...” Harry can feel himself getting choked up as he struggles to meet your eyes. When he does, you can see he’s fighting back tears and you don’t know what you expect him to say next. “I think—no. I know that I am in love with you.”

Your breath gets caught in your throat. The skin tight, bell bottom jumpsuit you’re wearing seems to be 100000x tighter than you remember it being a few hours ago.

“You don’t have to say it back, you don’t owe me anything, I—shit. Shit I’m sorry.” His chin is wobbling now and the world’s biggest rock star is falling apart right before your eyes. But in a second, your lips are on his before the first tear can fall.

His whole body caves into yours, pulling you closer then you think you’ve ever been held in all of your 22 years on this planet. Your hands find his hair as his lips move in sync with your own. They’re soft and sweet and suddenly the only language you know how to speak. He is clinging to you like a man starved, though you know he is anything but.

“I love you. I thought it was obvious already but, I’ll say it a million times if you need to hear it: I love you. I love you. I love you.” You day in between kisses. Harry pulls away slightly to meet your eyes and can feel himself going cold. “What?” Your brow furrows at his expression.

“I just never want to forget the way you’re looking at me now.”

Then your back is against some nearby wall and his lips are on yours again faster than you can register anything that’s happening. The kiss swells into something more urgent, more passionate than before as your tongues begin their dance. His hands are everywhere, and you forget where yours end and his hair begins.

His lips begin trailing to the underside of your jaw and a moan slips out before you can stop it. He groans a response, and you swear you can feel something hard pressing against your lower stomach. Harry’s entire body has caved into yours, you standing on your tippy toes to press yourself more firmly against his willow-y frame.

“Shit-shit. Harry, someone could see—“ it suddenly dawned on you that you’re just passionately making out with in the middle of the hallway.

“Oh—oh.” Harry’s brows furrow and you see a glint of hurt in his pretty green eyes. You gently cup his face.

“No, I don’t mean it like that!” You whisper yell the reassurance. “You know I’d love to be seen with you. I just, H....I’m insecure about this kind of stuff.”

Amusement paints a pretty smirk on Harry’s face.

“You mean....sex?” He teases and you swear you could wrap your hands around his throat and throttle him if you had another 5 inches of height and actually stood a chance.

“Yes, sex, now come on.” You mock his accent and tug him away from the wall, the two of you giggling like horny teenagers.

...

Within a minute Harry has you pressed up against the door of his private bus. He’s fumbling with the strange lock and kissing you like he’s dying at the same time. You’re floating.

Once the latch clicks into place, your feet leave the ground again and your laid against something soft. The warm lighting is hitting Harry in a sinful way—he looks like the color gold personified and he’s smiling at you like you’re the Sun. He towers over you and you’ve never felt smaller. You start to wrap your arms around yourself but he stops you.

“Just let me look at you for a sec, y/n/n.”

With one last heated look he dives back into you and you’re a mess of tangled limbs again. You can feel his hands ghost over your clothed breasts and his lips ghosting over your neck again.

“God, I can’t get enough of your neck. Ya’ve got tha prettiest neck ‘ve ever seen,” he groans with a grind of his clothed, hard cock into your own clothed heat. You’re making noises you’ve only ever made before that time after Game night. And you know you’re ready to give it all to Harry. Anything he wants from you you’re willing to give.

His hands roughly grope at your breasts and you nearly scream. He’s pulling his shirt off and unzipping the top of your jumpsuit before you can do it again. Harry sucks in a breath of air at the sight of your naked chest.

“God—those tits. Just like I imagined ‘em,” he says before taking a nipple in his mouth, suckling on you like some animal. You whimper under his attention and he stops briefly.

“Angel, is this alright?” Harry looks into your eyes and holds your gaze.

“Yes, yes. T-take what you want from me.” You nod vigorously and submit yourself to him. His response is a growl you feel travel straight down to your core.

He goes back to your breasts, leaving lovebites and growling out the occasional “mine.” His lips trail down to your hips, right above your pelvis as he shimmies the rest of your jumpsuit off your legs.

Then the warmth of his breath is on your pussy and a single kiss is pressed to the front of your lace panties.

“H, you don’t have to—“

“I want to. Please.”

You nod and gulp. At this point, Harry’s seen more of your body than anyone else has and seems to be enjoying it. The only other time you’d had sex all the lights had been off and there was next to know ForPlay.

“I’ve just never had someone—do that.” You offer you an explanation. Harry freezes.

“No one’s ever eaten you out?” He asks incredulously, his head poking up from between your thighs. “What the fuck, why?”

Your cheeks heat up and you suddenly can’t make eye contact with him. “Well my ex, he and I only ever did it one time and he just...didn’t.” Harry nearly chokes on his own breath.

“You’ve one ever had sex once?” his hands are gripping your thighs now and he’s subconsciously moving closer to your face.

“Y-yeah. God this is embarrassing.” Your hands cover your now red face and tears gather in your eyes, lower lip trembling. This is not a conversation you wanted to be having but you also didn’t want to lie to Harry.

He pulls his hands away from your face and nearly crumbles at the sight of your glassy eyes. “No, no. Why is that embarrassing? You have nothing to be embarrassed about.” He coos softly, brushing away any tears that had fallen. You felt so small and seen in his embrace.

“Because I thought that maybe I was the problem? That something about me was ...off so he left me after we...you know.”

Harry audibly scoffed and cradled your face in his hands. “I’ve wanted this, I’ve wanted you for so long,” His voice is gruff and honest. “There is no one I’d rather be with right now. And that idiot ex of yours is a fucking madman because you’re never getting rid of me after tonight.”

You kiss him and feel something in your chest ache in an almost foreign way. You didn’t know you could feel like this. He kisses you back harder and the heat between you builds again. His hand cups your lace covered pussy and rubs gently over your clit and you jolt. His lips trail back down to your heat and before you can register what is happening his nose is pressed against your mound and inhaling you like some meal. A growl resonated in his chest and he begins tugging your underwear down your legs.

His tongue delves into your folds gently, teasingly. He finds his way to your clit and then sucks the breath from your lungs. You go pigeon toed and nearly scream at his assault on your most private area. You’re making noises that feel foreign as they leave your mouth but Harry laps them up along with your heat. He’s growling and letting out little sweet comments about how good you taste and you don’t know how you’re going to ever look at him without blushing again.

“H, H I’m close,” you whine out, little body shaking under the weight of his arms holding your torso down. Your hips are bucking up wildly but Harry is comepletely unbothered, giving no indication that he’d heard you at all. It isn’t until he sucks un your clit with a new vigor that he makes his intentions clear.

You’re screaming, toes curling, his name falling from your lips so loudly you’re sure everyone in the stadium can hear you. You’re fucked and you don’t even care, Harry’s cooing in your ear as tears fall from your eyes, descending from your high. He pulls your body into his and whispers sweet nothings in your ear until you come back to reality.

“Are ye alright, angel? We could just go to sleep?” Harry asks gently, warm breath in your ear.

“No, no. I want you. I’m just a little overwhelmed because no ones ever...he didn’t... make me you know.” Your face is heating up again.

“Why are you still talking about sex to me like we’re in middle school, y/n?” He laughs loudly. “I just spent the last 10 minutes face first in your pussy. You can say the word orgasm around me.”

You can’t help but laugh but also swing an arm around to sock him in the chest but he catches your hand and steals your breath with a kiss. His hands slide up the smooth expanse of your back and he straddles you, caging you to the end with his body.

You buck your hips into his, a hand snaking down to palm his rock hard member through his briefs. It feels, much larger than you anticipated. He growls and ruts against your hand like an animal.

“Please, Harry...” your eyes are hazy with desire as they meet his nearly blackened ones. He whips his briefs off and settles himself at your entrance.

“Are you sure? You’ll be stuck with me after this.” He half joked, looking into your eyes with a choking intensity.

“I’ve never been more sure. Please.”

He lets out a loud cry at the feeling of your heat around him and you’re whimpering uncontrollably at the intrusion. But you love it, God it hurts but you love it. Harry had not prepared himself for how tight you would be. It was like bedding a Virgin. Your ex must not have been well endowed, Harry thought.

Harry can’t believe how good you feel, and he’s never been particularly loud, but he’s crying out with every movement. You’re trembling beneath him, whimpering and yelping. Both of you just consumed with the other. You take his hand and place it around your throat, and his eyebrows shoot up in an expression of utter shock. He grips your throat in his hand and builds speed quickly. Milking his cock in your tight heat.

“You feel so fucking good. You’re mine now, mine.” He growls through clenched teeth as his hips snap into yours. You’re practically in tears.

“Yours. Yours yours yours.” His cock has reduced you to a weeping echo chamber.

When the two of you climax it is like the clash of a symphony and he collapses into your body, holding you closer to him than anyone’s held you before.

As you drift off in his arms, one nagging thought plagues you,

What the fuck were you going to tell your bandmates?